Virtual cruise Lyon to Avignon and Arles

Looks to be about to peg it. Not up to the task Doodle.

Well this ones not leaving himself open to such criticism and has covered his bits with a cloth. He looks in pain though. I expect his ankle hurts.

Thanks for the explanation CS.
I might be shallow and often cast adrift in a sea of confusion, but underneath the murky waters lies a soul who likes to be educated! ?
We chose Rutter (I was glad) for our nuptials.
Are we going to visit any churches or cathedrals? Some might need confession.

Yes miss, sorry miss, won't do it again miss
(Sniggers)

Guilty as charged. I was too busy with Colin to do my other homework. Sorry Miss. He wouldn’t go down too well at the Argy would he? Maybe we’ve sussed why his love was unrequited. ?

Oi! You lot giggling at the back and pointing at the rude bits! If you had done your homework as you were supposed to and read the copies of Virgil’s Eclogues I left in your rooms instead of Jackie Cooper you’d know this was the shepherd Corydon who burned with unrequited love for his shepherd boy Alexis.

The artist is Hippolyte Ferrat, world-bleating sculptor from Aix who specialises in busts. When he isn’t carving very small appendages he is special adviser to our very own reserve chef Daphne Whitethigh and taught her all she knows about bosom placement.

The article in Corydon’s hand is, of course, a classical shepherd’s pipe and were you to go to a carol concert to listen to some Rutter instead of hanging out in the Dog and Duck with Morris dancers, smoking, drinking vodka and singing lewd folk songs you would know this.

Next time round, I’m getting a gig with Hurtigruten and that nice Joanna Lumley.

Not a he wee then?

Found one! He was lurking by the bins checking out the Demoiselle empties.
“Bonjour Monsieur, pouvez -vous nous aider?”

Looks like a she wee to me.

Is Brunnhilde definitely a woman? I've always had my doubts ... she may have some knowledge of the subject, one way or another, and the enquiry may flatter her.

Any chaps around who could advise?
Obviously (very) Sven has never felt the need nor Colin, but there may be others?

He obviously didn't read the reviews. I've never had need for one of these items but would imagine the returns period ended a few centuries ago.

Yeah, anybody know what the refund window is on those things?
And if they’ve been used
I wonder if there’s a “Which” report he could consult?

I think he should send it back for a refund, but may be a tad too late.

Maybe that’s one of those “enlarger” devices and he’s looking to see if it has worked?

(Psst. It hasn’t)

What's the broken off tube thing in his left hand?

Last thing that crossed my mind?
He may have had a lovely, kindly nature and looked after his Mum.
You never hear Andrew Graham-thingy talk in such shallow terms.

No need for me to tart myself up, I had my lip filler (duck face) and eyebrows done yesterday. Shame I missed the Colin session, (out and about), but you are all so funny and clever with your arty farty posts.
I like Maw's itinerary, glitz and glam followed by Germanic beer swilling.

My thoughts exactly Maw!?

Just a totally irrelevant observation, looking at the statue with the chapeau on and not a lot else.
Did the models for classical statues all have particularly small willies or was it just very cold in the studio? He looks very surprised about it too

Crew and cruisers meeting at 11 for elevenses and further plan of action?
There are plenty of options.- park up (nautical term) and have a couple of days ashore, continue along the Med coast to Fréjus,, Cannes, St Tropez, Monte Carlo or head back up the Rhône towards the Rhine, Germany, oompah bands lederhosen, Hans (knees und bumps a daisy) among them. All suggestions welcome and we can have a democratic vote - there might even be some voting slips, posters etc left over from Sundays elections??

No probs CS. All for one and one for all.
We are a Happy Band, are we not?
What I'll do is nip off to the Museum while you lot have a leisurely breakfast and tart yourselves up and prepare to sail and I will see you on board

Ah, one petit problème - where will you be tied up and which vessel? Are we ocean-going now??

I have some explaining to do there …?

What happened to poor Colin ?

No, no. I think there's some confusion. You pointed out that the museum was closed on Mondays and I made a quip about Brunnhilde storming the doors so we could go in anyway. I think we may be on different virtual pages. The river reach the sea at Port St Loius and we came inland to to Aix for dinner so I think I'm on dry land! I don't suppose anyone cares that much as it's all imaginary. I just liked the idea of staying in a very luxury hotel for a few nights.