Your mothers' take on motherhood.

I don't know about births, but my poor mother struggled with motherhood in general. She was a highly intelligent woman who missed out on higher education because of her parents' Victorian attitudes. She carried that bitterness her whole life.

I think she loved us, but that was overshadowed by her deep frustrations and anti-men sentiments. It was quite a difficult upbringing.

I was born in a drab inner city hospital as where my eight siblings. Life for my mum was a misery having babies one after the other living in my grandma’s house.
She always said to us that in the early 1950s women were not encouraged to use birth control and they could not afford to buy it. Child birth was horrendous and if men had to go through it populations would cease dramatically.
Not my words but my mums and I remember them well.

SueDonim

I had two ‘back’ labours. As Elaine says, it occurs when the baby is facing the wrong way in the pelvis and causes pains in the back. Normally a foetus faces the back so that the widest part of the head fits through the widest part of the pelvis. If the baby isn’t so positioned, it’s a heck of a tight squeeze for the head to pass through the pelvis. Quart in a pint pot comes to mind! ???

That’s interesting and could explain the terrible back pains I experienced giving birth to my third. I can still remember moaning with the pain. My back is very dodgy these days but I put that down to overwork in the garden but I am wondering now.

I was born in the cottage hospital and mum said they weren’t allowed out of bed for several days and apart from feeding the nurses looked after baby ……. And loved doing so.

Mum did tell me grandma said when she gave birth they knotted a sheet across the top of the bed and she had to reach up and pull down on it when she had a contraction.

I was born at home just prior to the NHS, so when my mum got into terrible trouble with me stuck the Midwife called the Council Dr in to get us out of trouble. My mum never really got over it all and the Dr became our GP. He came and stayed with mum during her second labour and put her out for the last moments when my brother was born. It was all very Victorian but we all survived, although just how scarred she was by it all became evident when she was very old.
I had difficulties carrying babies to term but then relatively easy births.

I was only 14 when my Mum died so we hadn't really discussed labour in detail. However I found pregnancy and labour a bit of a doddle to be honest.

Mum was 34, and had been married 9 years when I came along, weighing in at 8.5 lbs. I was born in hospital, but not told anything about it other than that.
My brother came along 2.5 years later and was a 10 pounder. The largest baby on the ward, with the tiniest cry. Mum did say that although she had big boobs, he wouldn't feed. (I think he got smothered) ☺️

I was born in hospital. My mother was taken in for an induction as I was 3 weeks overdue.

My mother had a hard time with my brother, a forceps delivery in a nursing home in the 1930s. I think I was supposed to be born in a nursing home, too - this was 1940, well before the NHS - but I came rather suddenly, at home. I think there was a doctor or nurse there. My mother couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to get the girl she wanted. She had what was called ‘ a monthly nurse’ - I think this was a nurse who cared for the mother and baby after the birth. I think all of this had to be paid for.

When I had a very difficult labour with my first child, I felt my mother hadn’t prepared me for how awful it might be. She had seemed to imply it wasn’t much trouble. I had been told my baby was small - in fact he was 9lb 6. I was in a maternity hospital, which was just as well. I simply can’t imagine having a baby at home. I had an epidural for my second one - bliss.

A few months after I had my first baby I bumped into a girl I used to work with. She was now pregnant and asked me how long my labour had been. When I told her about 17 hours she looked horrified, obviously imagining me hanging on to the bed rail screaming for all that time. I decided not to admit that I'd slept through half of it - didn't want to spoil the drama!

I was born in 1957 in hospital and am an only child.

My mother said it was the worst pain she had ever experienced. I was 7 1/2 pounds so not huge.

She told me that she never wanted children but only had me because my Dad's friends wives were all having children and my dad was keen to have a family.

My mum wanted a girl but I never felt close to her. She went back to work when I was one and my grandparents looked after me. My dad had a good job so I don't think they needed the money. None of her friends worked when they had children.

After I had my first child my mother was convinced that I had an epidural as I coped with the pain better than she did. I didn't have an epidural. I had pethidine and slept through most of the labour until the pushing bit at the end, which was about four or five pushes.

My DM talked to me about her experiences once I was pregnant. Mine was her first grandchild so it all came back to her. Too much information! They did have contraceptives but they were cumbersome and she envied our generation with the Pill.
She remembered her own mother telling her that she was wrapped in a red woollen blanket when she was born as they had nothing ready. By that we deduced that she was premature because her mother wasn't the kind of person not to be prepared. Her mother had died long before this conversation..

My mum had three huge babies and she was less than 5 feet 2 at full height. I am the oldest and was the lightest at 9 1/2 lb. I was also by far the shortest so the others were long and solid while l was short and plump. My brother and l were born at home, which was normal for rural Norfolk in the sixties. My dad actually helped the midwife with the gas and air machine. Mum also had pethidine as it was available by then. We were all very overdue. My sister was born in hospital as my mother had high blood pressure and was on bed rest and to be induced. This was 1970 and my dad's parents looked after my brother and me. We were only allowed to visit the hospital on Sunday afternoons - visiting hours were extremely strict then. Apparently, my grandmother had styled my hair in the manner of her own daughters from the 1930s and my brother's hair like her sons' hair in the forties. When it came to the time to be induced, my mother asked the doctor if she was likely to be induced that day as she had a history of big babies. The reply was that she was the doctor and she would decide whether or not she would be induced that day and in any case it was a perfectly average sized baby. After the doctor had left, the sister came over to tell my mother off for upsetting the doctor! My sister was born later that day weighing 10 lb, 3 oz.
I fitted after the birth of my first baby, eclampsia, so I was told that any subsequent babies had to be born in hospital and I needed to stay in at least one if not two nights with them. In the event, this was a good thing as my second baby swallowed some mucus during the birth and the medical staff were on hand to deal with it. Both my younger babies were spine to spine - very painful!- but by the nineties epidurals were well established and l was glad of them.
I think childbirth has actually gone backwards in recent years as mothers and babies are rushed home far too quickly and there are lots of issues that can occur in the first few days.

Gosh, this has been a really interesting and informative thread! I had never heard of twilight anaesthesia. My Mum never talked about actual childbirth, but the night I was born, there was a storm, howling wind and rain, slates flying off roofs type of night. I remember just after my brother was born, at home, and the district nurse visiting, I was desperate to see inside her black bag as I had been told this was where my brother came from!

My mother only ever pointed out the maternity hospital where I was born and said that when my dad told my grandmother I was a girl she didn't believe him.(I was the only girl on his side of the family in 5 births)

My first child was late and the doctor told the hospital I would have to be induced. On the appointed day I got on a bus and went to the hospital. I was in labour for 36 hours and not given any pain relief as it was a hospital run by Catholic nuns who did not believe in it. My daughter weighed 6lb.10 oz. She was a fractious baby who did not sleep all night and got us up at all hours for several months.

When I had my son 3 years later things were very different. The birth was much easier and I got pain relief. He weighed 8lb 2oz. Also he slept nearly all night almost from the beginning.

Everyone's different.

ElaineI

I was born in a different town as my mother was unmarried and sent to a mother and baby home. I was to be adopted and she had to provide a layette for me. She was in labour for 3 days (she says) and I was covered in green stuff which meant I was in distress but not so recognised then. When my granny and aunt saw me they decided I would not be adopted so went home with my Mum.

In the 70s we fostered babies who were to be adopted getting them at a week old. The mother was supposed to provide a small box of clothes for their babies. Some were lovely some were very sad little offerings. You were lucky you were taken home so many of the babies we had could not be kept by their mums as the father had forbidden it . This happened to even well educated middle class mothers.

Yes FloraDora I'm so glad my granny and aunt were with my Mum. I had a very happy childhood. My brother was born when I was 6 and Mum had married. Children were not allowed to visit and the nurse held him up at the window for me to see. I remember thinking he looked like a kitten!

Kate1949

Blimey. Some of you had conversations with your mothers?

No conversation here either Kate1949 my mother never explained any of the facts to me apart from saying " don't bring trouble to this house"
In her defence I was adopted when she was 50 so her views were old fashioned and of course she had not experienced childbirth herself.
I did manage to find out the facts for myself though.

My Mum’s first baby was born in 194She like a PP said she had no idea how the baby would come out. That baby died at 2 weeks old of pneumonia. Mum thought she just caught it, but I wonder if it could be connected to the birth.It was

It was winter 1946 meant to say.

I think childbirth has actually gone backwards in recent years as mothers and babies are rushed home far too quickly and there are lots of issues that can occur in the first few days.

My babies were born in the 1980s and we had 5 days in hospital if bottle feeding, 6 days if breast feeding and 10 days after a C section.
I thoroughly enjoyed each stay and the sense of community and support from the other new mums and the ward staff. We had time to get to know our newborn and get feeding established. We were waited on hand and foot with meals and drinks. We were sheltered from too many visitors. Bliss ?

I don't know anything about mine but i remember my brothers, she said "urgh isn't he ugly" and wouldnt hold him. I thought he was beautiful. I didnt see a picture of myself as a baby until i was 40, I was told they didnt exist.

That's it..

I have told mine their birth stories, especially the funny or embarassing bits. Like being in full blown labour, being given a bed pan beecause they wouldn't risk me having a baby in the loo, and shouting, "how am i supposed to manage that?!?“ before throwing it on the floor and just squatting there like some sort of semi labour deranged cave woman.

That was the easiest birth too

Mom didn't say very much about my birth, only that it took awhile. She said even less about how you would get in that predicament. I have to laugh when I think about it. Mom had no advice for me, but she did repeat what my grandmother said about pregnancies which was, "You'll feel worse before you feel better". My MIL, however, was happy to tell me every detail of my husband's birth. She was in labor 22 hours. It was agony all the way. It was the worst experience she ever had. She chuckled all the way through the description and happily repeated it every 15 minutes whenever we had occasion to be together before I gave birth to my first child. The nurses said I had a ways to go (light labor from 11:00am until 10:00pm, then nothing), and didn't I want my husband to go home and rest? After all, there is no point in him being there when he could be at home. I wasn't sure at all about that, but I said okay. They left me alone and made it rather clear that I shouldn't call them unless I really needed them. Labor started in again about 1:00 a.m. I remember calling a couple of times and they came to the door as far as I can remember. The last time I remember telling them that I really thought things were imminent. Of course, they had told me during the course of all this that I really didn't know what I was talking about. The last time I called them (the third time in maybe 5 hours), they finally came in and examined me, and then all was a flurry and flap and banging of the bed down the hall toward the delivery room. My first son was born around 5:00am. I showered, washed, dried, set my hair, put on my makeup, and was out at the nurses' station asking for change for the Coke machine at around 8:30 in the morning. Pretty fortunate, I think.

My gran was brought up by foster parents and knew nothing about the actual childbirth process till she was in labour! She said to the midwife "Please could you tell me how the baby's going to come out?"
The midwife replied " Same way it went in, love!"

Mum went to a private maternity hospital, although they could ill afford it. She says she was so drugged up she couldn't remember my birth. Five years later she needed a repair operation and i suspect it was because she couldn't respond to the contractions during labour.