Your mothers' take on motherhood.

Only born in a nursing home, stayed 10 days. That's it sadly.

My mother had me at home, n London. Far away from close family. She had two doctors and an ambulance standing outside as it was a difficult 14 hour Labour and forceps delivery.
One of my grandmothers in the 1930’s, pre NHS, had chloroform for all 5 of her children. She was totally out of it and didn’t feel a thing. A doctor attended - it was 5 Guineas a time.
I had my son very sharpish - 40 minute labour with hubby there. I reckon it was quick because I was fit and swam everyday.
One of my great grandmothers went out to labouring women in the days of pre NHS. They tried to persuade her to train as a midwife but I think she didn’t have the confidence.

As her one attempt at giving me advice re contraception, just before I got married, my mother informed me that I was an unwanted surprise as she had been 'taking something' to prevent pregnancy. (It seems to have worked well for a long time as I was born 10 years after my brother.)

I suppose I had kind of known that. I was cared for, but my great aunt lived with us and she looked after me, whilst mother continued working. The only memory of her when I was a young child is sitting on her knee and being taught to read ( age 3 - 4), - not cuddled. At 77, tears well up as I recall this.

These posts are really interesting.
As an adopted child, this didn’t ever get discussed with my mom, as she never gave birth to me.
But this post has made me realise that she never told the story of how she and my dad became my parents. I think years ago, things just weren’t discussed. But I would have appreciated knowing all the details.

I was born in a nursing home between VE day and VJ day. My grandfather was a gynaecologist and he attended the birth. It was going to be his birthday the next day. I was his first grandchild and he really wanted me to be born on his birthday. My mother says I was born at about 11.30 pm but my birth was recorded as having happened after midnight. So my grandfather and I did use to share our birthday!

No not really. I just remember her telling me about everyone running around to find my dad when she went into labour.

My elder sister was born in hospital, whilst my mum was still evacuated to Somerset. I was born in hospital too as there were expected rhesus problems, the hospital had the highest infant mortality rate in the country at the time but 74 years later I'm still here. My younger brother was also born in hospital as Mum was expecting twins but sadly due to the rhesus problems his twin was born dead. All 4 of mine were born in hospital without the benefit of pain relief - very quick easy labours - so when I recently broke my hip and the paramedics offered me gas and air I took the opportunity to try it. Great stuff!!!

All my mum told me was that I was born in The Royal Free Hospital, London and it cost one shilling and sixpence to have me delivered.

sodapop

Kate1949

Blimey. Some of you had conversations with your mothers?

No conversation here either Kate1949 my mother never explained any of the facts to me apart from saying " don't bring trouble to this house"
In her defence I was adopted when she was 50 so her views were old fashioned and of course she had not experienced childbirth herself.
I did manage to find out the facts for myself though.

I was told nothing about anything by my mother. If it had anything whatever to do with ‘down there’ it was a taboo subject. I longed to know how birth took place and imagined a tummy must split open to expel the baby. I also wanted to know what periods were about and what was the ‘Act’ sternly forbidden out of wedlock in RC booklets at the back of the church. I found out when I was 20 and had a baby who was given up for adoption in the early 60s unknown to my parents and affected the rest of my life with a deep sadness.
Ironically, when she hit her late 80s Mother often alluded to her sex life.

I arrived on and according to my 'poor mum' what was to be one of the hottest (phew)May bank holidays on record.

I was born in a nursing home in Brimingham during the war. My mother had to stay in the home for 10 days afterwards as she developed puerperal fever. I'm not sure how she paid for the nursing home as my parents had no money. There must have been some kind of assistance available either through the government or some sort of insurance payments. I never asked about this.
According to my mother I was overdue, "took a long time coming" and finally arrived at 11.30pm. She only ever spoke briefly about it but I think she had a tough experience - no wonder I'm an only child.

Wasn't my Mum who reminded me about when I was born it was my Dad. He had to trek through a field of 3 feet of snow to get to the Drs house as he was needed (no idea why) and worst of all the Dr attending cost a whole two shillings - 10p nowadays!

It was like having a grapefruit such in your foofoo
She lied
She was a crap mother though

I remember after my c section pleading to go to the nicu to see my baby in the recovery room. It was six hours before I saw her. With the second four days after terrible complications that nearly killed us both. This was 2014!!!! I was in intensive care so was she, born very early and only 2 lb. I had my last in 2020. None of this bed rest for days. Your up and at it home before you know it. Hours after your second and only a day for your first. C sections 2-3 days. It’s no wonder there’s so much pnd. You even have to queue up for meals in labour or hours after. No passing of the baby by the midwife following a C-section you get up or they are left to cry. It’s awful. I had sections where I was cut navel to pubis and above the pubis bone so an upside down T. Still no help Try standing a few hours after surgery with all those staples in. Let alone discovering you’ve no tummy button anymore ?

My mum told me she was in the Royal Navy for the second time after her first marriage failed when she discovered she was pregnant with me in 1949 to a handsome young chap 5 years her junior..... She was offered termination, fostering or adoption by an RN welfare officer which impressed me no end, especially as she opted to keep me. Part of her reason was that my dad always said he had very much wanted to have a child with her. The other reason was she'd been told she would never have children as she'd had peritonitis and nearly died during her first term of RN service.... Because of post operative adhesions etc she was in painful labour for 36 hours. Not surprisingly, it was 11 years before she had another child whose birth was equally difficult.... She also told me that, despite having tiny breasts - dad always said she just needed a couple of bits of Elastoplast - she had produced enough milk to feed the poorly babies on the maternity ward as well as me!...

My brother was born in 1936, myself in 1939 and my sister in 1946. My mother told me that she knew nothing about how the baby would arrive. She asked her mother, and was told, "Just do what the midwife tells you." She never told me what the experience was like, but I remember waking up and hearing noises downstairs, when my sister was born. No-one had told us that another baby was on the way. I went down to see what was going on, and was firmly told to go back to bed by a strange woman. Funnily enough, I can't remember meeting my sister, or seeing her when she was a baby.

I wasn't told anything about the 'facts of life'. No doubt all hell would have let loose if I had become an unmarried mother though. Luckily I was a late developer, and a virgin bride. Not many of them about, these days!

When I did become pregnant my mother was fascinated by the whole process, especially the books about how the baby develops, and giving birth. Despite having 3 children of her own she knew almost nothing about the process.

My first experience of childbirth wasn't pleasant, though the baby weighed only. 5lb 15oz. I needed a lot of stitches after a long labour. The following 3 also took their time about coming out. My easiest delivery was the second one......our adopted daughter. Not a twinge, and pure delight!

My DD had a traumatic birth, with an emergency Caesarean when my GDs shoulders got stuck and she stopped breathing. Luckily all turned out OK, and her brother arrived 2 years later with much less fuss

I think that women, these days, are experiencing more difficult births, and unnecessary Caesareans, due to the shortage of midwifery staff.

We were all born c section and my mother elaborated on it.

Absolutely nothing, a subject that she never discussed, as I went on to have 3 children, it was only later that I discovered that I had been the child of her cousin who couldn't keep me due to her family and my 'parents' had been married for seven years and childless. Aunty Mary, as I knew her paid for my education and upkeep, sent me a crisp ten shilling note every Easter, she even paid for my wedding.

In my Scottish childhood most babies were born at home. I can say so with full confidence as Daddy was a GP. He and the midwife were both present having seen the expectant mother regularly during her pregnancy and would unfailingly have booked her into hospital if they thought a normal delivery was unlikely. The case Daddy took with him to confinements was twice the size of his normal case, and everything in it from forceps to needles was boiled up in the kitchen when he came home again, whether the instruments had been used or not. The towels were changed, and the rubber sheet and apron sterilised.

I was born in hospital nine weeks premature, which came as no surprise to my parents, who had lost my brother seven hours after birth two years prior to my arrival.

Most healthy women having a baby, or twins, did so at home. Usually only women like my mother who had problems carrying a child to term, or those who were Rhesus negative, or Postive but married to a Rhesus negative man went into hospital. Plus naturally women with such narrow pelvises that a caesarian was indicated.

One of the local midwives was famed for being able to turn a breech presentation round at the start of labour so the baby was born head-first without her needing to put her hand inside the mother. Regularly either the midwife or the doctor had a finger in along the child's neck holding the umbilical cord away so the child was not strangled.

My Mum told me she held onto the back of the bed and took the skin off her fingers. I was a forcep birth. My brother was a breech. I popped out my first baby in 6 hours and my 2nd in 4 hours. There is no accounting for it at all.

My mam used to be a nurse so she told me a lot, which I was grateful for.

When I had my 3rd child my partner came in just as he was being born and passed out. They had to call for extra staff to deal with him. Oh and he banged his head as well. Typical, he ended up with more attention than me. I had a 4 hour labour with that one.

This thread prompted me to spend an hour or so researching where I was born, an RAF staging post in Mauripur, Pakistan, so thanks for that.
My mum told me little about childbirth, my daughter was born in hospital, a birthing chair, in three hours, I think I stayed in a couple of days. My son at home, an hour of labour, he too had inhaled some rubbish which was suctioned out, an ambulance was outside and my GP attended. Neither were needed, two midwives were fantastic, my son and I were in the bath about an hour after delivery. For both I had gas and air.

My mum told me at a young age that I looked just like my dad when he came home from nights

@Chestnut,
My son was facing the wrong way up too, and I also had a very long and painful back labour. It wasn't helped by my midwife 'clocking off' to go on holiday, and her replacement being a very young, newly qualified midwife who had no children of her own, but insisted that the baby was fine and dandy. Eventually he was a forceps delivery, at the last attempt before they were going to do an emergency c-section! He had such a poor, squashed up little face when he eventually emerged! Now he's the image of the actor Tom Burke, 'Strike'!
I've suffered with back and pelvis problems ever since, but I don't blame my son......much!
I would like to time travel back and give that young midwife a dressing down though, stupid girl that she was!

Juggernaut Interesting that we both have hip and pelvic problems and our babies were back to front. I don't know if the babies caused the problems or the babies were that way round because of the way we were shaped. I never started having problems until my 50s so many years later.