What’s the point? A tale of the youth of today…

Witzend… that’s me, “ancientry” ?

Liberal parenting! Who would have thought it would come to this?

I can’t find my book of quotations, but there’s a Shakespeare one from one of the Henry IV plays (IIRC) that goes something like, ‘Would that there were no age between fifteen and thirty, because in between there is nothing but stealing, fighting, wronging the ancientry, getting wenches with child…’.

I’m sure someone will be able to correct any mis-quotes.

You made me think of the ‘wronging the ancientry’ bit, AuntieEleanorsCat!

I agree the level of violence and sexual content now on mainstream TV is truly shocking. I hate the thought of youngsters seeing such things, but the TV channels don't seem to worry what they put out. Then youngsters have the internet or violent video games which are even worse. Unless society as a whole cleans itself up kids will be increasingly affected. Parents need amazing skills to navigate their children through all this as it's ever harder to stay in control especially when they reach their teens.

I don’t feel old enough for a retirement village just yet but may, in future.

These comments on the thread are so upsetting. I used to live opposite a primary school with a little play area/park next to it. It wasn’t the most affluent area (my first house) and I’d often be in bed at odd times due to hospital shift patterns but, I never had any trouble. Just didn’t. Where we live now, the actual house, is down a quiet lane. DH has been looking at estates and new builds and I’ve just said “no”, I’d rather stay where we are. Super neighbours, really quiet, no through road.

It’s tricky.

I think TV has much to answer for. DH and I had a giggle when flicking channels and seeing the Channel 4 program where people choose a date from an array of naked contestants. Big Brother/soaps and reality shows all shouting and swearing at each other… not my thing but very popular.

I'm sad about society too. I feel vulnerable when walking on the pavement. (I'm not little and frail) but in the last three months I have taken note of the times when a pushbike has been using the pavement either coming towards or behind me. The rate is 100 percent. That's EVERY time. Not kidding or exaggerating. Our council has spent millions on bike lanes on the main roads, where I walk and they still use the pavements. I don't mind little children on bikes at all.
This is just one of the things that upsets me.
I have two large labradors and one in particular is very sensitive to feelings as he went through training to be an autism support dog. He has started to bark at people in an effort to protect me as he's picking up on my feelings.
I'm just so upset by life it's making me not want to go out the house anymore. I'm 59 so no where near being an old lady!!!

... is it all down to parenting? Personally, I think it's more complex - and subtle - than that. But too complex to analyse without boring the pants off everyone.

In short, I think we are all, children, teenagers, all of us, now at a stage of cultural and technological sophistication without the mental capacity, or mental refinement, to deal with it. And, The Dark Webb is accessible to all, with the right software. With a click we can access anything - anything at all, brutality and all its perversions, unlimited content relating to sexual activity of all varieties, you can even learn how to successfully commit suicide... I could go on but I'm sure you get the drift... all this along with learning how to cook a chicken, or find a decent local restaurant. We can also, with another click, insult someone on social media, form campaign groups, mobilise demonstrations. It's both fascinating and frightening at the same time.

My point is, I'm not sure we're emotionally or intellectually equipped to deal with it all. Particularly young adults - who are the most adept with the technology.

I'm not even going to mention some of the TV programmes.

... could be barking up the wrong tree (I do that sometimes), but I really do think having the 'world' at our fingertips so to speak has created as many problems as it's solved.

It's the same with all of society. The minority spoil it for the rest. As was previously mentioned you can always move to a retirement community. You wont have teenagers causing problems but some retired people seem to enjoy making life miserable for their neighbours or anyone they think they can get away with it. Again the minority as always spoiling it for the many.

I live in an estate of 125 all detached properties, wouldn't say there is poverty of any sort. There is a lot of kids about and do they think they can do no wrong, Yes! They congregate in the under 5s little play areas which are next to houses, are out to 11 pm making a disturbance. If anyone asks them to be quiet or betrer still move it's nothing but back chat that they are doing nothing wrong. Electric scooters, bikes and segway type equipment used on the pavements and roads by children as young as 5 years. Local FB page does not allow any comment whatsoever about children unless you are singing their praise. One property is adjacent to a grassy suds area surrounded by roads and a small car park. The people have a life of hell with the noise from kids playing football and hitting their fence and of course footballs landing in their front and back garden. During good weather they can have kids at their door 5 or 6 times a night asking to get a ball back. This is inspite of legal restrictions that No Ball Games or Cycling permitted on the grassed area. Signs are taken down and dumped in nearby woodland. Planted areas are ruined by balls and fencing round the little parking area is constantly having to be repaired and we all have to pay for these repairs and replacement planting. When adults provide all the equipment to allow children to undertake illegal activities what else do you expect from children they follow suit. Fear we have lost the consideration for others and accepting responsibility that existed in older generations. It's definitely the Me Me, Me attitude by many these days.

I truly believe TV programmes do not help the youth of yoday , TV is such a powerful tool it can teach and influence in many ways . I was watching TV recently and at 10pm there was a series about sex and couples sharing it with others and I was so shocked at seeing full sexual intercourse with other watching , full on sex and more , totally in the open . I am very open minded but I was worried my granddaughter of almost 17 may be watching in her bedroom at home . Four letter words are used abundantly and violence is accepted as normal , aggression in some soaps is normal and bad attitude part of everyday TV.

I find it a very sad world now . I do blame TV and the media and of course parenting . Kids having kids where there is no security , kids with many different fathers to one mother .

I don't know how to feel anymore tbh . Yet I must add like many here I have good granchildren who know love and respect and good

I'm afraid I do speak to people behaving badly, but always politely.I was particularly cross one day when I saw a youth smash a bottle on the path in the local park . I asked him why and he said it was fun . I did tell him that the next time he wanted fun he could smash bottles on his garden path at home. I did add that I had just had a vet's bill of over £200 as my dog had cut his foot badly on glass in the same park. There was no back chat, there was an apology and his friends (boys and girls) very rightly decided that they should move on. I also phoned the school when I got home to ask if they could remind their pupils that on study leave they should respect other members of the public. I dont know that I would have said anything had he been on his own.By the way I am 84,and as an ex teacher can say old habits die hard.

Apart from the changing mores of society, if you pare back all the infrastructure, the institutions, the services, etc, that maintain - with checks and balances - a relatively stable community, then the end result will be exactly what we are witnessing now.

We, as people, are like plants... unless we are pruned a bit now and then, we'll just grow completely wild and randomly, and ultimately invade the outer edges and structures.

So to speak.

No you not old your two years older than me. But kids don’t seem to have respect anymore. They expect you to move if walking down street. Don’t even hear please or thank you anymore. I certainly wouldn’t have confronted him because lots of young ones carry knives nowadays. Doesn’t your park have cctv in it. Report it to council.

I live on the edge of a small market town in a lovely friendly neighbourhood but I’ve also noticed a deterioration in behaviour among some of the young people. It was reported in our local Nextdoor a few days ago that the poster was out walking her dog at 7.30 in the evening and there was a group of teens in the childrens playground, jumping about on the equipment, smoking, swearing etc, all in earshot of the adjacent houses. All this is regular stuff. What was different were a couple of kids about fourteen or thereabouts having sex, in broad daylight and in front of anyone passing, or young children visiting the play park as well as the other teenagers. If she’d taken a photo to report the behaviour she’d have probably been accused of being a pervert.

You are not old OP, I am 50 and feel like this too. Since the internet was invented society is going to hell in a hand cart. Anyone who brings kids into the world today needs a good shake.

Hithere

Btw, what OP describes is not present in any parks I have been to in the US in the last decade

The USA has a HUGE problems with antisocial behaviour in public, especially drug dealing. Los Angeles and San Francisco are dreadful places now. Obviously there will be nice places but the cities are always the worst.

As I said before, this is a pattern which started in the Swinging Sixties and has been recycled with each generation of children. Free and easy sixties children allowed their children to get even more out of control and so on. Today we have mobile phones, violent video games and the internet added into the mix. Parents have their heads stuck in their phones while the children see and hear all manner of horrors online and go around stabbing each other. It's not creating a healthy society at all. While most people attempt to protect their children and teach them to be decent people there are many who don't care or don't realise.

I don’t honestly think it’s down to parents working, my parents & their generation were often left to fend for themselves as children, dads away at war for years & mums working in factories, or on farms in my Nannas case. They had very little & lived through much tougher times. My mum worked part time, I have worked, my AC all work but I’d like to think that they & their children know how to behave in public.
It’s down to a lack of respect and discipline amongst a certain element, it affects whole classrooms and society in general, I feel sorry for the children who do want to work hard in school and do know how to behave. The fact that many children never get pulled up or punished for their bad behaviour isn’t helping, in fact some of them & their parents almost see it as a badge of honour if they’re getting into trouble. If a neighbour or a teacher complains about a child's behaviour there are some parents who just defend them and turn in the complainant with a load of threatening expletives. The police and school staff have to take the softly softly approach and the youngsters think they’re in charge and just know they can get away with it.
I also live in a small market town, not much goes on and we are lucky its not a high crime area but I have witnessed some very unsavoury behaviour and awful language from a few who seem to want to big themselves up and the only way they can do it is by swearing or mouthing off!! Some of the trashy TV programmes they watch aren’t helping.
How times change, when we were children travelling on a local train there was a group of boys swearing, nothing too bad compared to today. My dad got up, walked over and politely asked them to cut out the bad lamguage as there were women & children present. The lads shut up, it was one of those moments that could have gone either way. Would be a very different kettle of fish nowadays.

Tuskanini

I find it difficult to get TOO upset about taking a pee behind a tree. There aren't many public toilets these days. Is a glimpse of a willy any more offensive than a glimpse of a nipple when a mother breast-feeds in public?

The difference between a man peeing in front of a tree in a public place and a woman breast-feeding her baby is that the former is a criminal offence (1986) under the Public Order Act.

Breast-feeding isn't.

And I think you're missing the whole point of the OP. Apart from which, the young man was not, it would appear, behind the tree - but in full view of the public.

Hithere, re taking pictures in public, rudeness and breach of privacy are wrong, but not illegal. People take pictures of monuments, museums and public parks every day and there will be people in the background, this is not a misdemeanor or a felony. People sadly take pictures and videos of bullies beating up defenseless people, drunks passed out or behaving unusually, just for their own sad " enjoyment". Sadly this is not illegal either. It is up to ones own sense of values to judge whether it is correct or not to take pictures in public: please be so kind as to give fellow posters such as myself the benefit of already knowing this and possibly having a moral compass...which is more than I could say about a man shouting abuse at an older woman as has been recounted above.

After a lengthy teaching career I have watched the steady decline of general behaviour and the unrelenting excuses made by parents unable to accept any responsibility for their children's behaviour. Much of what we are experiencing today from young people (not all obviously) is the result of poor and elastic boundaries set by their parents. It is sadly the norm to see parents deeply engaged on their phones while their children are ignored and their questions unanswered.

katy1950

I'm sorry but the majority of bad behaviour is due to bad parenting or lazy parenting, you see children playing in the parks and thier mums and dads are sitting there with thier faces stuck to the phones totally ignoring thier children

Unfortunately with most mothers as well as fathers now having no option but to work, they no longer have the time to put proper standards in place for their children. The time they have is generally spent having 'quality' time. Teachers, nursery workers and childminders are restricted by how much they are allowed to chastise children. It's no wonder the kids have no boundaries.

This is exactly why I don’t let my girls out to play 8&10. Older boys and their vile language spitting and peeing. This too is a market town with new builds surrounding it.
I hate going to the park with them for the reasons you say. I’m 42. I hate the way society is now and yes it’s depressing.

"social world has changed with regard to elder persons being respected by virtue of being elder persons."
I am glad that has changed

I have seen eldery people behave appallingly just because they have "earned that right" and I had no right to speak up

Respect is earned, not given automatically