What’s the point? A tale of the youth of today…

Sorry… “world health crisis” ?

How very sad, and I'm sure you feel dispirited by all this. Firstly, I would say never complain to anyone in public because you have no idea how they will react (as you have discovered). I've read too many stories about people being beaten up when they tell youngsters off or even when they try to protect their own property. Just button your lip and walk quietly by. It's not worth the hassle or potential injury just to have a moan, and nothing you say will make any difference anyway. There's always the possibility they will find a way to target you another time, and some young people can be very nasty when there's an 'old fogey' who whinges at them. If they see your car for instance, you might get scratches or flat tyres.

I'm afraid this is a different world we live in now and as you get older you do have to disengage from people like this. In the past we were taught to respect our elders but I noticed a distinct change in attitudes of youngsters in the 1990s. They started to realise they had power over adults if they accused them of something, or threatened to accuse them. It's horrible but true. All you can do is encourage your own family to be decent people and keep away from these random strangers.

You can't take photos of them, (child abuse) and you would be called a dirty pervert, as was a governor of our local Primary school when he tried to photograph teenagers roaring round the playground on motor scooters, for identification.

A group of teenagers were attempting to force and smash the doors of the Library; the man opposite came out of his garage and told them to clear off. Ten minutes later a policeman arrived to give him a warning about his threatening behaviour; he was holding the tool he was working with when he shouted at them.
It is dreadful that you cannot reprimand bad behaviour, but it simply is not safe any more.

My own little market town is also ‘not what it was’ in some ways. Some newer residents have been shipped in from larger cities, been housed in a newly built estate, but is a bit of a ‘no go’ area now.

Having said that, we still have a good community on the whole. Voluntary groups litter pick round the town, we had lots of celebrations for the Jubilee, volunteers provide lovely troughs of flowers around the town….

There are many worse places to live, and the nice people far outweigh the not so nice.

Just to add you could report them anonymously to the Police if you know what school they go to. Maybe they can visit the school and speak to the students, or organise a park patrol at the times when this will likely happen. There is also a site called nextdoor where you can speak online to neighbours about issues and this is connected to the local Police. Your real name appears on nextdoor but not your address or any other details.
You could also take part in an organised litter pick locally. Ask about this on nextdoor website.

You really are not too old
Perhaps walk you dogs somewhere quieter I don’t have my own now but take my daughters or sons dog over local fields much more peaceful
You may find the odd kid that is rude but most are absolutely fine

I too live in a similar market town with two sought after schools. Just recently there has been a spate of antisocial behaviour by children in one particular sports ground and the cemetery. The police, social workers and councillors are working together to remedy this but it is a losing battle. Some as young as 12 are roaming the streets at 4 in the morning. I wonder where the parents are.

Similar situation locally, the parents are aware but not interested in dealing with their children. Probably worse now weather is better.

It is definitely worth letting the local police know that anti-social behaviour is going on. They do have to prioritise, and if it is low-key may not be able to do much.
But by letting them know, they are able to build up a picture of 'hot spots' and can prioritise where PCSOs can patrol.
Our PCSOs do 'surgeries', aiming to get to most neighbourhoods monthly, but can be contacted by phone or email.

This is also an example of how apparently minor cut-backs affect communities. I worked for some years in a very difficult area, and we had 'roving youth workers' who worked in a team with PCSOs and other community workers. They were very good at defusing situations. A favourite tactic was to open up a local games area, put the floodlights on, and some basketballs out.

I'm also interested that you describe an apparently affluent community with aspirant parents. I wonder if local youth feel alienated by the 'incomers' (this has happened to a town near me recently) or if these are the 'incomers' trying to find their place among local kids?

I hope that coming on here has helped - what you describe is not nice at all - and that you find some of the advice helpful

You are not committing a crime if you take pictures of people in a public place, unless the photos are inappropriate or indecent and inappropriately used or shared for an illegal purpose.
If a young person is committing an act of delinquency or other inappropriate behaviour, a video or picture could be taken to the police or to the authorities as proof. I'm not saying the case we are discussing warrants police involvement, but surely unacceptable behaviour such as that of the group of youths causing trouble and damage, can be photographed or put on a video. I've googled this:
"It is not illegal for people to take photos of your children in public places without your permission. There is no right to privacy that forbids people from taking a person's photograph whilst on public property."

I'd say to be very careful taking pictures of aggressive youths or you might get your phone destroyed and your face smashed in. It just depends what sort of kids they are but some are really not nice.

if you have retired from being a nurse and are having to face this affluent generation of people who get what they want and don;t care about other people's feelings, then no - you are not just too old and are just most probably fed up of people. I fantasise daily about living in rural Wales and not seeing anyone else for months. I wanted to punch all the loud people in waitrose yesterday
oh yar what we having for tea blah blah blah
oh sod off big gob no one cares about your bloody monkfish

hello OP, i agree with others above.
we understand your feelings but urge you, as your number one priority, to protect yourself.
do not challenge loutish behaviour. that is risky. may draw fire on yourself.
just try to avoid them.
could you go out with an other for company/back up. being alone is more vulnerable, potentially.

I do understand. You mustn't put yourself at risk, but if no-one ever tells off these teens, then the situation just gets worse.

Years ago you could have written a letter to the editor of the local newspaper, but they do not exist anymore, and if your town has one, then usually it is just the over 50's that read it.

Facebook has become like the newspapers, with community groups and notices. Perhaps you should think about joining.

We have a local group on FB called 'What's up Town Name?", where people will post events and notices, loose dogs, etc. Ours is a small town under 13,000 people. I have seen notices regarding litter, park clean-up events.

A rant, politely worded as your original post, without photos may do some good. You may find you are not the only one feeling unsafe, and it may rouse some action from the community.

Kids have always used bad language when with their peers and have shown off in the park. Nothing has changed in that respect. Leaving litter is a nuisance but I don’t have an issue with a boy having a quick pee against a tree. He might have been desperate and I think you were mean to call him out on it. Mind your own business and walk on by. As a previous poster has said most teenagers are hard working and polite. In a few years these boys will be contributing towards your pension and certainly won’t be able to retire at 58!

What a dreadful experience for you. I think we must remember that not all young people are like this. However there is no doubt that there is a huge decline in standards of behaviour these days. It was one factor in my decision to leave the town I lived in and move to this retirement park in the countryside which is a little bit of heaven with no such behaviour. I wish I knew how to reverse this trend in bad behaviour, and I do think the gradual erosion of all the old disciplines have played a part. I hope you will not encounter these louts again. Take care.

At 59 you're really too young to have such a pessimistic outlook on life - you're in for a miserable older age if you carry on thinking this way, unless you've just had a bad day!

The schoolboy should have tried to be a bit more discreet and hid behind a bush to urinate but you shouldn't have remonstrated with him - potentially dangerous for a start.

I too hate litter and other anti-social behaviour like dog poo on the pavements and in the park but the vast majority of people, young and old, are not 'rude, obnoxious and disgusting' so I don't feel there's a need to disengage from society.

Don't be old before your time.

Ahhh, Enid101. Don’t judge my ability to retire. It has come about through several deaths in the family. I lost both parents within months of each other and my step dad. My retirement is to give me more time to care for my own adult disabled son.

And the boy was around 16/17. Six foot odd. Not a 12yr old.

JaneJudge… that’s me! Hubby and I are planning on a move to a quiet little village where some friends live. It’s just finding the right property. Didn’t want to trouble my husband with what happened as he’s been really poorly but I mentioned it in passing and he’s said, as those above have, DO NOT COMMENT AND KEEP WALKING.

Thanks all.

I was walking with my daughter a few years ago and challenged thugs wrecking trees. My daughter was mortified she told me I wasn’t so young anymore and can’t run so I should keep quiet. She said she feared for my safety and prefer I just walked on by. I am not the strong woman I once was and have to listen to the advice. Years ago I would challenge anyone being a bloody nuisance.
Not all ( I have to say) but a lot of the youth now take drugs and carry knives. It might go against the grain to standby and say nothing but it’s for the best. Where I live is a mixed housing area with lots of parks I walk my dog in big open spaces where I can see around me.

He sounds like an obnoxious brat who knows all about his 'rights' and nothing about consideration and community spirit.

At the end of the day he is the one living the impoverished life. The vast majority of young people would not behave like that. You were unfortunate to meet one of life's sad unfortunate young people. He is not representative. Feel sorry for him and don't let him drag you down xx

Oh and I totally disagree with Enid101's post. We have all paid towards pensions for the generation that has gone before us, and we have all benefitted from their livess, actions and wisdom.
Also let us not forget that they are the people now providing child care so that their children can work, or keeping vital Community services going through volunteering.

Why should they put up with rude brattish behaviour from someone now taking their turn at pay taxes to keep society going?

I’ve no wish to derail this thread into a discussion about pensions. Neither did I intend to be rude to the OP, but I just think teenagers get picked on as a group rather than just accepting that there are some rogue ones.

In some ways the world seems to change beyond all recognition and not for the better. I suppose people have felt this as they've aged since time began.

I'm about your age and found the worst thing is feeling powerless against such negative actions. I've found joining litter picking groups and volunteering makes me feel like I'm doing my bit for our world and it's uplifting to mix with other people who want the world to be a better place rather than people who want to spoil it for others.

Don't let the b'stards grind you down. There are lots of good people and the world is still a lovely place.

It extends to road use,too. I tooted someone who came out of a side road without stopping and he got behind me and tailgated me for a long way, very close. I was really scared.