What’s the point? A tale of the youth of today…

I truly believe TV programmes do not help the youth of yoday , TV is such a powerful tool it can teach and influence in many ways . I was watching TV recently and at 10pm there was a series about sex and couples sharing it with others and I was so shocked at seeing full sexual intercourse with other watching , full on sex and more , totally in the open . I am very open minded but I was worried my granddaughter of almost 17 may be watching in her bedroom at home . Four letter words are used abundantly and violence is accepted as normal , aggression in some soaps is normal and bad attitude part of everyday TV.

I find it a very sad world now . I do blame TV and the media and of course parenting . Kids having kids where there is no security , kids with many different fathers to one mother .

I don't know how to feel anymore tbh . Yet I must add like many here I have good granchildren who know love and respect and good

I live in an estate of 125 all detached properties, wouldn't say there is poverty of any sort. There is a lot of kids about and do they think they can do no wrong, Yes! They congregate in the under 5s little play areas which are next to houses, are out to 11 pm making a disturbance. If anyone asks them to be quiet or betrer still move it's nothing but back chat that they are doing nothing wrong. Electric scooters, bikes and segway type equipment used on the pavements and roads by children as young as 5 years. Local FB page does not allow any comment whatsoever about children unless you are singing their praise. One property is adjacent to a grassy suds area surrounded by roads and a small car park. The people have a life of hell with the noise from kids playing football and hitting their fence and of course footballs landing in their front and back garden. During good weather they can have kids at their door 5 or 6 times a night asking to get a ball back. This is inspite of legal restrictions that No Ball Games or Cycling permitted on the grassed area. Signs are taken down and dumped in nearby woodland. Planted areas are ruined by balls and fencing round the little parking area is constantly having to be repaired and we all have to pay for these repairs and replacement planting. When adults provide all the equipment to allow children to undertake illegal activities what else do you expect from children they follow suit. Fear we have lost the consideration for others and accepting responsibility that existed in older generations. It's definitely the Me Me, Me attitude by many these days.

It's the same with all of society. The minority spoil it for the rest. As was previously mentioned you can always move to a retirement community. You wont have teenagers causing problems but some retired people seem to enjoy making life miserable for their neighbours or anyone they think they can get away with it. Again the minority as always spoiling it for the many.

... is it all down to parenting? Personally, I think it's more complex - and subtle - than that. But too complex to analyse without boring the pants off everyone.

In short, I think we are all, children, teenagers, all of us, now at a stage of cultural and technological sophistication without the mental capacity, or mental refinement, to deal with it. And, The Dark Webb is accessible to all, with the right software. With a click we can access anything - anything at all, brutality and all its perversions, unlimited content relating to sexual activity of all varieties, you can even learn how to successfully commit suicide... I could go on but I'm sure you get the drift... all this along with learning how to cook a chicken, or find a decent local restaurant. We can also, with another click, insult someone on social media, form campaign groups, mobilise demonstrations. It's both fascinating and frightening at the same time.

My point is, I'm not sure we're emotionally or intellectually equipped to deal with it all. Particularly young adults - who are the most adept with the technology.

I'm not even going to mention some of the TV programmes.

... could be barking up the wrong tree (I do that sometimes), but I really do think having the 'world' at our fingertips so to speak has created as many problems as it's solved.

I'm sad about society too. I feel vulnerable when walking on the pavement. (I'm not little and frail) but in the last three months I have taken note of the times when a pushbike has been using the pavement either coming towards or behind me. The rate is 100 percent. That's EVERY time. Not kidding or exaggerating. Our council has spent millions on bike lanes on the main roads, where I walk and they still use the pavements. I don't mind little children on bikes at all.
This is just one of the things that upsets me.
I have two large labradors and one in particular is very sensitive to feelings as he went through training to be an autism support dog. He has started to bark at people in an effort to protect me as he's picking up on my feelings.
I'm just so upset by life it's making me not want to go out the house anymore. I'm 59 so no where near being an old lady!!!

These comments on the thread are so upsetting. I used to live opposite a primary school with a little play area/park next to it. It wasn’t the most affluent area (my first house) and I’d often be in bed at odd times due to hospital shift patterns but, I never had any trouble. Just didn’t. Where we live now, the actual house, is down a quiet lane. DH has been looking at estates and new builds and I’ve just said “no”, I’d rather stay where we are. Super neighbours, really quiet, no through road.

It’s tricky.

I think TV has much to answer for. DH and I had a giggle when flicking channels and seeing the Channel 4 program where people choose a date from an array of naked contestants. Big Brother/soaps and reality shows all shouting and swearing at each other… not my thing but very popular.

I don’t feel old enough for a retirement village just yet but may, in future.

I agree the level of violence and sexual content now on mainstream TV is truly shocking. I hate the thought of youngsters seeing such things, but the TV channels don't seem to worry what they put out. Then youngsters have the internet or violent video games which are even worse. Unless society as a whole cleans itself up kids will be increasingly affected. Parents need amazing skills to navigate their children through all this as it's ever harder to stay in control especially when they reach their teens.

I can’t find my book of quotations, but there’s a Shakespeare one from one of the Henry IV plays (IIRC) that goes something like, ‘Would that there were no age between fifteen and thirty, because in between there is nothing but stealing, fighting, wronging the ancientry, getting wenches with child…’.

I’m sure someone will be able to correct any mis-quotes.

You made me think of the ‘wronging the ancientry’ bit, AuntieEleanorsCat!

Liberal parenting! Who would have thought it would come to this?

Witzend… that’s me, “ancientry” ?

I know you say you will be moving but I thought this was worth saying. The area I used to live in had a nice little park which was busy but misused by teenagers in the evenings and at night. Council cuts meant all support for the park was lost but a group of "Friends" was created which took over the care and maintenance. Several years on the park is cleaner, safer and busier than ever. I think local people having an interest and input into it, making it their park, has created a sense of ownership and everyone wanting the park to improve. There are beds of flowers planted by different schools with labels. I wonder if your area could do something similar.

Glorianny It's lovely when local people take care of their area/park, but I just wonder how they stop the antisocial gatherings in the evening and night time? There is no-one around then to keep an eye on the park.

The same applies to graveyards which have 'friends of' groups. I know one in Merseyside which is very well cared for and they even send photos of graves to people who enquire. Another very beautiful village graveyard in North Wales is totally neglected and overgrown. None of the locals have even recorded the graves. It's such a shame. Why the people there have no interest I don't know, but obviously some areas just have the right people.

I must admit I feel vulnerable when I go into the town. It's the electric scooters that get me - I'm wobbly walking as it is - and the bike riders who all totally ignore the clear, large white signs stating NO CYCLING. There's never a police officer in sight. I also feel uncomfortable when the secondary schools release their students [no longer called pupils] but I have to say they might be noisy but there's been no problem so far. As for cars! I'm a 'normal' driver I drive to the limit of the mph signs and am not a crawler but I'm still overtaken. It's scary

Athrawes… I agree. Driving in a 40 a few weeks ago and a car was so close to me that when the mph sign switched to 30, the guy bibbed me, as I braked. When we got to the lights, he pulled alongside me and started shouting that I’d “slammed” my brakes on. I hadn’t, I’d merely gone from 36-ish in a 40 to 28-ish in a 30. Got the f word and wan*er gesture. My son, who’s quite vulnerable was in the passenger seat Solent the evening wondering “will he come back to find us?” ?‍♀️

It’s everywhere. Starts with society generally; useless parenting then, on to the kids who become the 25yr old driving too close and blaming/abusing others!

For those suggesting litter collection groups etc, I did some tree planting at the park. The council funded it and got volunteers in to rewild a huge area, plant trees and hedging. Out of 36 trees, around 7 are left. The rest snapped off as saplings, dragged out and in the case of a few, the tree and wooden support, set fire to. I give up.

He SPENT the evening wondering…

It’s everywhere. Starts with society generally; useless parenting then, on to the kids who become the 25yr old driving too close and blaming/abusing others!

When my son was a young teen, I got word that he was in town making a bit of a nuisance of himself with a similarly aged 'gang'.

My late ex and I got in the car after he'd gone out the next couple of evenings and surreptitiously followed him to find out what was going on. It was nothing horrendous, but he was being a bit of a PITA (I won't go into details of how we followed him around, it was very cloak-and-dagger, and not a very nice thing to have to do).

We had a 'conversation' and rules were laid down, and that was more or less the end of the problem.

I didn't enjoy spying on him, and it was all quite stressful for both him and us. We didn't get anywhere initially by just talking to him and questioning him... so what were we supposed to do as parents knowing that our son was getting up to mischief?

Being a parent is not an easy job, and as kids gain independence, it can become even more difficult. But that's the point - being a parent is a job, and a serious one - you cannot just waive 'bye' to your young adults as they waltz out the door in the evening and assume they're sitting on a wall somewhere chatting to their mates, or riding their bikes around. My son - very tall and mature-looking for his age, was actually frequenting a pub in town, one which had a bit of a reputation! I'd never have known if I hadn't followed him. He was only 14!

Parents need to know what their kids are doing in the evenings when they're out, and they need to engage with them long before they reach that age, too. I think the parents of these vandals have a lot to answer for.

AuntieEleanorsCat

He SPENT the evening wondering…

Very well said Dickens and well done for your surveillance work ????????

Shinamae

AuntieEleanorsCat

He SPENT the evening wondering…

Very well said Dickens and well done for your surveillance work ????????

Oops don’t know how I managed to quote that, sorry ..

If it's obvious that they're pupils from one of the schools then contact the school about their behaviour

Magrithea, when the trees were torched, the school were approached. Nothing happened, I don’t think.

I live in a house my husband built on a medium sized plot of land. It has a road leading from the main road which is on my property to a gate that leads up to my house. I am 75 and live alone now after my husband passed away in 2019.
Local children, some as young as 9 constantly open the gate and ride in on their bikes. If I challenge them I get abuse and told I can’t do anything. I’ve had CCTV fitted and notices up informing them they are being filmed. Now they come in and wave at the camera.
They are little brats who are frightened of no one, with parents who haven’t a clue or care where they are.
They get pleasure out of annoying people, knowing nothing can be done.
Anyone know were there is a lion going cheap.

We had a few incidents in my small town, the few youths involved were caught on cctv, cameras on some houses. They were quickly identified and the parents became involved, they were horrified at the bad behaviour and dealt appropriately with their children.

The police were also told, each and every time. The poor behaviour has been nipped in the bud. The young boys were around 13.

This really is one of the big advantages of living in a small place. People know each other. The great majority are caring and helpful, there ought to be facilities for them, such as the old fashioned youth club. Not all want to join scouts and the various clubs. The rugby club though is a great model for them, many older male role models

That’s awful bobbydog24, you feel very vulnerable when you live alone. Could you possible get a large dog or borrow one off a friend. Mind you if it bit one of the little beggars you’d just end up being sued. You can’t even defend your own property nowadays.

Bobbydog24 that sounds dreadful. Gits. I wish I could suggest some thing but don’t know what. A bolt on the gate so they cannot get in? I feel for you. Keep your chin up ❤️