Sales men ignoring me and speaking to my husband

Maybe I’ve been lucky but I haven’t experienced this (yet!).
I’ve bought cars, new kitchen, had renovations and decorating done without any deferring to DH (he’d only tell them it’s my choice anyway!) He’s useless at decision-making so after 46 years it’s simpler for me to do it!

It’s never happened to me not yet anyway, how rude!

Maggie maybe
Omg that’s hilarious ?

Purple pixie, It is such a windup isn’t it! My sister has the same thing. She said she thinks that now they don’t want to sh#g her they don’t have any interest in even speaking to her.
Honestly I do think there’s a lot of truth in this as when my beautiful daughters appear these men initiate conversations with them
Or start laughing and joking with them. ?

Yes, I've had this experience I've even had sneers for asking questions. The attitude of what would a woman know.
So demeaning. And so rude.
I too, speak up now.

I remember enjoying a situation at work where a young teacher arrived for interview and spent quite some time trying to impress the caretaker at reception while the headteacher he'd mistaken for the receptionist (and treated dismissively) calmly looked on. He didn't get the job.

In Italy waiters take it for granted that they will be speaking to the man. DH had never learnt any Italian (his mother wouldn't let him) but I had been to lessons. A waiter would come to our table and reel off the menu for the evening, DH would then ask me what he had said, I would translate and ask him what he fancied and then I would translate his choice back into Italian for the waiter. This was repeated in shops. stations, museums ans anywhere else where we had to speak to people.

My husband almost instantly says to 'speak to the boss', meaning me, whenever we are in any sales office. If we are in any sort of place where the goods are not in my interest or knowledge, then I think by my body language the sales people can tell that he is the main purchaser. For instance, looking at garden sheds... he can choose what he wants!

When we purchased DH's new truck last year, we both looked at the vehicle, were treated equally by the salesperson, but when it came to signing agreements and making decisions on extended warrantees, my DH deferred to me since I had done more research. He stepped out of the salesman's office at that point.

Not something I have ever had a problem with quite honestly and I've had all sorts of building work carried out.

The boots on the other foot for me. I work in a bathroom showroom (18 years experience) alongside a lovely young man who began working with me 2 months ago.
Every day I get couples in where the man will only speak to my colleague. He's the loveliest person but, at the moment, he doesn't know much. Its so easy to spot them so, I just walk away and wait for my colleague to have to keep coming to me for answers.
I find it so rude

tell them you and your H are a partnership and appropriate behaviour requires all partners to be included in any discussions and final decisions. If that isn't acceptable to the salesman, tell him you'll take your business elsewhere and then, when you and your H are alone, tell him that you are neither invisible nor a silent partner, and if he ever allows anyone to disrespect in that way again, you'll call him out in front of the person disrespecting you.

Two of the ‘salesmen’ where I buy my cars are women. I’ve not had dealings with them myself but I envy them their job, getting to swan about in nice cars!

When I bought my new car DH came with me, after being ignored in one dealership I said if you cannot talk to me you obviously do not want my money, and left.

Meant to add that’s the car I’d gone to see wasn’t an Aston, it was the cheapest car on the forecourt and they’d even hidden it around the corner possibly in case it lowered the tone!

Some years ago DH and I went to look at a second hand car for me which just happened to be at the Aston Martin garage! While DH went to the loo, the salesman asked if I fancied a test drive in a new Aston. Did I?? I was in the driving seat before he could say Jack Robinson!
I didn’t buy the car I’d come to look at either as it didn’t have leather upholstery.

tanith

Last time i bought a car the sales person started out talking to my husband till hubby said don't talk to me shes the one buying it. At least he had the good grace to say sorry and look embarrassed.

Same here. DH used to turn to me and ask what I thought. Since he retired, he usually says, “It’s my wife you have to convince! She’s buying it!”
Some sales people don’t even get a blatant reminder like that.

Not at all, not nowadays. I remember years ago while on holiday, I was admiring some rather expensive items in a boutique, when the assistant said “Get your husband to get his cheque book out!” I replied annoyed, “No need I’ve got my own cheque book!” Needless to say I didn’t buy anything.

Some car mechanics can be the same when I passed my driving test aged 22. I decided to do a car maintenance course at a local college. If I had a simple problem with an old mechanical engine I hasten to add not computerised as they are now. I would deal with it myself tyre change changing break pads etc. If it was something a bit more complicated like differential gear or pistons I had the knowledge but not the practical ability or tools.
I would turn up at our village garage and tell the guys there a problem I thought I had the men looked at me as if I had two heads. I being a young woman was supposed to not have a clue the garage is still there but the guys got used to me in the end.

Some years ago we were in the process of moving house. DH was working away from home so I was making a lot of the necessary phone calls. I rang Anglian Water to give them the removal date and the first thing the chap said was- does your husband know you are moving- I was very tempted to say- no I’m running away so don’t tell him?.

When selling our last house the agent , a woman , would not deal with me . If she phoned and my DH was not there she would not tell me why she was calling . I let her get away with it as we were so keen to sell but looking back it makes my blood boil .

A few years ago I was hiring a van to help my son move his belongings from one student flat to another in South London. My DH gave me a lift to the hire company and was buttonholed by the saleman. He listened patiently while he was shown all the controls, then said, 'That's great. I'm off now so perhaps you could do that again for my wife - she's the hirer and the driver.'

I have a lot of van driving experience so was able to reverse out of the tight parking space while enjoying the look on his face!

Yes, I've had this happen. It doesn't help that I've very short! Not that that is any excuse! It infuriates me and I will not buy from people who do this. I've even had it happen on school parents' evenings, when two different teachers spoke entirely to my husband (who is not her father) and ignored me totally, even when I asked something! I kept my mouth shut on those occasions as I didn't want it to affect my daughter in front of her teacher, but in other situations I would say that well go somewhere else where the staff have better manners!!

It is so infuriating, isn't it? We had a chap call from a kitchen place and I could tell on the phone how he would be so I said to DH, stay in the study and don't come out whilst he is here. He did everything to try to get me to ask my husband to come out but I said he was far too busy.

Wise woman!

It can work the other way. After a good while of deciding what new sofa we wanted we went to the store and sat on it. Eventually the sales woman came over and asked if she could help. My husband told her that we would like…this design of sofa… that fabric and showed her and that we’d like it to be the three seater one. She looked from him to me and asked ‘Is that right?’ ?