Father’s Day and adult children

Never bought my father one. Never received one from my children. Quite happy.

I suppose it also depends on how much you make of these days. We do not make anything special of Mother's/Father's day and while it is nice to receive a card, we do not even want presents or any big show. Our children do not live near us, anyway.

DS struggles with ADD and has enough of a problem remembering where he left his car keys and wallet. However, last week he made a 400 mile round trip, to be present at the funeral of my dear friend, where, in childhood, her son had been one of his friends, despite having to bring his work with him, and that journey showed his love and thoughtfulness for us. That he forgot about a father's day card is neither here not there.

Men are not organised because we are daft enough to organise for them. It all falls apart when left to their own devices.
One year when my DD lived abroad I was laughed at when no card came for Mother's day as it was on a different day. Very different on fathers day when no card came for him.

mokryna is absolutely right about the origins of Mothering Sunday, which is always on the 4th Sunday of Lent.

Has anyone worked out that Father's Day is exactly 9 months before Mothering Sunday? Just saying!

To put a different spin on the OP, I would say the daughter does not want her brothers reminded so that she remains the "thoughtful/good" sibling by remembering the day. Again, just saying!

Men are so disorganized because for generations, they have been enabled and excused from having that basic skill - why shall they do something when they have women to do it for them?

My adult son is absolutely useless.
I used to buy presents for him to give his sisters, and nieces and nephews, then I thought I must be mad, I’ve left it up to him now, and he does nothing,
He’s single, so no wife to nag him

My sons have nothing to do with their dads so that one doesn't come into the equation for us but Mothers' Day is easy in our family because it always falls within about a week of my birthday (which they wouldn't dare forget lol), so no reminders necessary here.

If my two kids forget …that’s ok. If they remember that’s ok too! We’re not a fussy family over stuff like that. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. They both forgot our 50th wedding anniversary ….. but then, so did my husband. Just not fussed.

Not fussy about mother’s day or Father’s Day. I have no memory of such days growing up - it is a relatively “new” idea ie within the last 60years? I don’t want presents for birthdays or at Christmas either but appreciate a card. We are all different thank goodness.

Well said

Hear, hear Oldbat1. I always feel that Mother’s/ Father’s Day are forms of emotional blackmail.

Mothers Day has been around a long time, the British one , anyway. It is based on Mothering Sunday
which began as an explicitly religious event of the 16th Century, with no connection to mothers at all. The word "mothering" referred to the "mother church", which is to say the main church or cathedral of the region. It became a tradition that, on the fourth Sunday of Lent, people would return to their mother church for a special service. This pilgrimage was apparently known as "going a-mothering", and became something of a holiday event, with domestic servants traditionally given the day off to visit their own families as well as their mother church.
yesterday.uktv.co.uk/blogs/article/mothering-sunday/

It was certainly celebrated with Mothers Day cards in the early 1950s because I can remember making a Mothers Day card at school.

DH really doesn't do father's day. He says it's made up and thinks cards are a waste of money for grown ups. He does think Mothering Sunday is important so always organised the DC before they were old enough to do it themselves. He still reminds our single sons not to forget the day. The older ones always remember birthdays etc. Maybe because they are parents themselves now.

Our single sons all forgot on Sunday. I did remind the one still living at home just to say the words happy Father's Day but I don't think he did. He was late getting up. He showered and went down the cricket club for a brunch fry up before heading off for an away match. We were in bed before he got home. His brother did ring up on Monday and say he would take us out for a meal sometime.

They always remember to send/deliver a card and either see us on the day or near to. (We don't do presents.) I'd be disappointed in them if they 'forgot'. There's no way adults can forget with all the publicity about Mothers Day/Fathers Day, and if we didn't get a card (or at least a very abject apology and a call on the day) I'd feel that they couldn't be bothered to put themselves out a little and 'mark the day'. It's like...people who don't say thank you for presents. Things like that do matter.

Fathers Day was a sad affair for us this year, the first one without DH. I lost my own dad 45 years ago at a young age so it’s always been tinged with sadness for me. My AC took flowers to the cemetery & posted sone lovely photos & videos on the family group.

I do think Mothers Day/Fathers Day have got too commercialised, we used to make a card at school for Mother’s Day & maybe pick some flowers out of the garden or buy a small box of weekend for our mum. Now they’re pushing jewellery, expensive perfume, spa breaks and all kinds of things. Not what it’s about. Invite your parent round for Sunday lunch or tea on the day, just spend some time together, that’s more important than gifts, you can’t get time back.

I never had to do Father's day. My father died when I was only little, long before FDay had been invented. And I didn't regard my step father in the same light even when the card companies had got on to the idea. It was 1972 when it began, I was grown up and away from home then anyway

I still remember the year when my (now ex) husband got really upset with my daughter for not getting him anything for Father's day. At the time she was a 6th former who needed some school books which he'd ordered from Amazon but refused to give them to her until he had a card from her! We had gone out for lunch on the day and they had an argument about it in the pub which culminated in her going home and making a card for him which had a very sarcastic (almost rude) sentiment. I found the whole situation hilarious since we were in the process of separating and I could not believe he would hold her essential books to ransom over a Father's day card!
Both my DD and DS are pretty good at remembering occasions for me but as someone else said 'It's the relationship that's important not the cards and gifts.' I'd much rather spend time with them than have stuff!

personally I do not care about mothers day and my husband does not care about fathers day. if the kids remember great, if they dont it is no big deal. I would think however that having to constantly remind them to send a card or a gift negates the sentiment behind the occasion. If they cannot be bothered to remember then why keep forcing them.

What is now mother's dayoriginated as mothering Sunday when servants working away from their villages went back for a church service and would have seen their relatives. Would have applied to M and F but there would have been, probably more women than men involved.

All of our adult children remember Father’s Day & Mothers Day

I have two sons near and distant and they both make an effort. Distant one sends an email message full of quirky memories and as he has Parkinson's it is much appreciated as typing is difficult
The nearby one always makes a point of calling in for a cup of tea and catch-up.
They both always remember Mothering Sunday and I get lovely cards.
I am so lucky.

Felt a bit down on Sunday to be honest. My beloved Dad died some years ago, but the first anniversary of the death of my ( ex.. but much loved ) father in law is coming up soon so this is the first time in my life I havent had a 'Father' to send a card to.
Ridiculous how much that upset me!

I messaged my son to say happy father's day as he's a dad himself. He phoned later and had been unaware it was father's day. He forgot mother's day this year too but did remember on the day and called me. He'd had to make a last minute trip to get something for his wife on behalf of his small children.

I thought I’d seen this before and looking at the date it’s a repeat… don’t need to remind son of the date due to him having 2 children… but this year I did get cross though when not even a card… or phone call… so sent WhatsApp message to him and DiL… asking her to tell him to read his message… he popped up around 8.30….with a card and pressie… it hurts me more than my very laid back hubby.

joannapiano

Hear, hear Oldbat1. I always feel that Mother’s/ Father’s Day are forms of emotional blackmail.

Yes! This!