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Father’s Day and adult children

(83 Posts)
Dizza25 Sat 18-Jun-22 18:17:16

Just wondering if people remind their adult DC about Father’s Day? I have 2 sons and a daughter, daughter always remembers, sons do usually but have missed on occasion. I have taken to reminding sons ( they live away from us now) with a text or in conversation on the phone. Our daughter doesn’t think I should as they are adults, however, I feel it’s more important that DH gets at least a card as it’s important to him and I don’t want him to be disappointed. What do others do, leave it to chance?

JaneJudge Sat 18-Jun-22 18:22:45

I'm going to be completely honest.
I had actually forgotten and I think it may have been to do with the bank holiday/jubilee weekend etc and so many 'things' after covid lockdowns etc
Have sent my Dad a very nice gift but it wont arrive tomorrow.

Bear in mind we have
been through a pandemic
we are going through a cost of living crisis (why have they called it that)
we are facing a recession

be grateful we are all alive and well and really don't worry about cards and gifts, it is important we all have each other - not stuff

Calendargirl Sat 18-Jun-22 18:23:36

No, I wouldn’t remind them.

With both Fathers and Mothers Day.

I suppose we feel a bit sad if they don’t remember, they mostly do, but they are adults, not children.

Calendargirl Sat 18-Jun-22 18:26:13

Should add that both DH and I have no parents ourselves now, and so it just doesn’t seem as relevant for us if we aren’t remembered.

HowVeryDareYou Sat 18-Jun-22 18:26:49

Our sons (40 and 38) always remember Father's Day, Mother's Day, and birthdays. They always buy a card and present. We're very lucky.

M0nica Sat 18-Jun-22 18:27:31

Doesn't worry us whether they do or not. DD alslways remembers, with DS it is a bit hit and miss, but we know why.

JaneJudge Sat 18-Jun-22 18:29:56

seriously buying a card and a present isn't important
I want to be loved by my children as I love them and have a relationship with them. If they buy me stuff or do not is not important
there is a very old saying 'knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing'
it springs to mind now. If you are there for your children (or step children/adopted children) it is a relationship that requires effort not gifts or statements
try to put things in perspective

DanniRae Sat 18-Jun-22 18:33:10

My eldest daughter always remembers and is really good at reminding her sister and brother about Father's Day, Birthdays etc
If she wasn't I would make sure that they remembered!

VioletSky Sat 18-Jun-22 18:33:53

Remind them, in plenty of time too

Not everyone is good at remembering these things and that doesn't mean the love isn't there

Why let them or their Dad feel bad when a quick text can fix it?

paddyann54 Sat 18-Jun-22 19:29:17

We see our children a lot and thats much more important than a Father day gift ,in fact mine were warned not to spend money on presents though our Daughter promptly ignored it and things started arriving for her Dad on Thursday and still were at 6pm tonight! It is his brthday too so maybe we'll let her away with it .Son just popped in with a card and a bottle for his Dads whiskey collection ..apparently from GD no2 as athanks for collecting er from school 3 times a week for 9 years ...lol

kittylester Sat 18-Jun-22 19:42:05

We have daughters who remind the sons!

Shelflife Sat 18-Jun-22 19:48:13

I too have daughters who remind their brother!

sodapop Sat 18-Jun-22 19:50:24

My ex and father of my children is incredibly tight fisted and thinks Mothers Day/ Fathers Day etc are just money making affairs. Means his daughters don't have to buy cards or gifts.

midgey Sat 18-Jun-22 19:54:48

But Father’s Day is completely manufactured, unlike Mother’s Day.

MrsKen33 Sat 18-Jun-22 20:22:51

I have never reminded mine and they have, without fail, remembered their father.

Hithere Sat 18-Jun-22 20:32:58

I wouldn't

Jane43 Sat 18-Jun-22 20:44:12

We have two sons - 55 and 53. They both adore their father and have visited him today bringing cards and gifts for tomorrow, I have never had to remind them about Father’s Day. Our older son will spend tomorrow with his own three children and our younger son is working but they will both send messages tomorrow. I agree it is manufactured and we always tell our sons that gifts aren’t necessary but it is an opportunity for them to express their feelings for their father and he loves to read the messages in their cards.

Harris27 Sat 18-Jun-22 20:57:07

Three sons always remember. Unfortunately one is abroad on holiday one is at ascot and the other at work but all will text phone and have already sent presents and cards. Also have visited earlier in the week. I know my husband appreciates this.

mokryna Sat 18-Jun-22 21:07:46

I always tell my DDs when it’s their fathers birthday but never Father’s Day. That’s up to them, I don’t think he deserves them moreover he hardly ever lives in their countries and as you know different countries have different days.

Elizabeth27 Sat 18-Jun-22 21:13:16

I wouldn’t remind them, its not kept a secret, shops,social media and tv advertise it so they would have been aware but choose to ignore it. They could also set a reminder on their phones that would alert them every year.

It is the thought that counts and there isn’t any.

FlexibleFriend Sat 18-Jun-22 21:35:48

I've always reminded my sons about fathers day and these days all they do is send him a text. They used to try and meet up for a meal and a catch-up but their Dad makes no effort. He always insisted on bringing his Girlfriend and her Daughter and the conversation always revolved around her and what she was doing. They have nothing against her but He's their Dad not hers. He asked me one day what the problem was, so I told him thinking he'd take steps to change things but no he didn't and because they know I told him that's why it's now text only and no mention or suggestion of anything else. It's his loss but he's a grown up and it's not my role any more to sort his life out. He's missing out but that' his problem.

lixy Sat 18-Jun-22 21:50:59

Both our AC have children of their own. We met up with them, at their request, for Father's Day last weekend so the GChn can make a fuss of their Dads this weekend. No gifts, but taking the opportunity for a genuine mark of appreciation.

midgey I think Mother's Day is also a manufactured event; it has just been around for rather longer than Father's Day.

mokryna Sat 18-Jun-22 22:20:57

lixy

Both our AC have children of their own. We met up with them, at their request, for Father's Day last weekend so the GChn can make a fuss of their Dads this weekend. No gifts, but taking the opportunity for a genuine mark of appreciation.

midgey I think Mother's Day is also a manufactured event; it has just been around for rather longer than Father's Day.

UK Mother’s Day is linked to the church and Easter.
Mothering Sunday centuries ago, children in service or other work. were allowed to go back to their Mother Church, where they had been Christened.
They knew they would see their mothers and would pick flowers on the way to give to them.
When I was small my church gave the children flowers to give to their mothers.
Then commercial side took over.

Callistemon21 Sat 18-Jun-22 22:21:04

Our adult children are better than me.

Deedaa Sat 18-Jun-22 22:28:15

My two always used to remember Father's Day and Mother's Day. Actually I imagine DD remembers and gives DS a kick.