AIBU? Hiding money to obtain benefits.

No you are not being unreasonable Sago, I wouldn't want to see her again either.

No you are not being unreasonable. When people we regard as friends do this sort of thing it is so dissapointing , it would tarnish the whole relationship for me.

It’s so sad when people let us down.
Admittedly nobody is perfect but benefit fraud is particularly despicable when there are so many in need and unable or too proud to claim what is their rightful entitlement.
By turning a blind eye we are guilty by association and I think I would have no trouble in cutting off contact with her - and telling her why, too. From what you say you are not particularly close so perhaps it won’t be much of a loss.

Am always amazed that if someone does something like that, they then go on to tell people about it!

I would be worried that they would report me. Can they not resist the urge to ‘brag’ that they have ‘foiled the system’?

I have a friend doing the same - but the other way round. She hides their money, so they can continue to claim benefits. She says it’s just a way to ‘screw’ this Government.

I really should read before I post!! My friend hides her sons’ money so they can continue to claim.

I'm not sure I'd be able to resist the urge to report her Georgsgran.

I agree Calendargirl.
Stupidity knows no bounds.

I know it’s difficult. The boys, in their 40s, were left significant inheritances by grandparents, so I expect she has their money in her name and hands it out as and when. I did report the younger son when he acquired a car and she didn’t declare his mental health problems to the insurance company - he could have killed someone.

You have a choice she has given it really.
Did she tell you because she trusts you, or is proud of what she has done?
You either keep quiet although you know what she has done is morally wrong.
Or you make your dislike of her actions clear and wind the friendship down, it doesn't sound a very strong one anyway.

If inheritance was paid into her account and she transferred it to son to hide it……it will be a matter of time before she get’s caught.

An associate of mine did exactly that ,7 years passed and the housing benefit fraud team caught up with her. Her benefits were stopped and is still paying back what she had claimed. She’s now got a part time job. Along with a criminal record.

Her son had been helping himself!

Morally and legally wrong Yammy; it's fraud.

I remember many years ago we got a quotation for new sliding glass doors from an aquaintance, who assured us "we'll fiddle the VAT". This was presumably intended to make us think that not only would we be getting a bargain, but we would be cheating the taxman (and the assumption was that we would be pleased about that which did actually shock me). There was no VAT payable on the doors at that time!

I don’t know if that was for me Yammy or the OP. I’ve definitely made my feelings on the matter known to her and now she lives in the backside of beyond, contact is minimal.
What is almost worse is that despite loads of vacancies for work around here - neither will apply for them, so why are benefits just continued, week after week - actually year after year, as neither has had any sort of job lasting more than a few months! One started up a business, defrauded HMRC and got a slapped wrist and continued to get benefits paid!

This makes me angry as know of people who need the benefits and have to fly thru hoops to get them...you could always do an anonymous call..don't forget WE HERE are paying for her Benefits!! I personally would cut ties ..

Taylor. I suspect the inheritance was hers, but with unwritten instructions to share part of it between her sons. The whole family on that side (her first husband) had been benefit frauds all their lives and proud of it!

just tell her she must declare it. This is to both sago and George's gran
They have probably convinced themselves they are due the benefits as others behave even worse but haven't seriously compared their own situation with that of others.
I wouldn't report her to the authorities but expect her to explain the situation herself. It may be that she is entitled to some benefits especially if caring for a disabled son. Citizen's Advice could help,

Don’t get me started Bea65
My DD2 suffered a stroke when she was 12 and left a full-time wheelchair user with other problems. I was turned down for carers allowance, appealed and was turned down again!
I could write a book on the injustices, but I had to learn to channel my energy into helping her - rather than wasting time on anger. Rant over. X

Oh dear. That is stealing, isn't it.
Totally unacceptable. I could not have her as a friend. But I don't think I could actually report her.

It’s disgraceful criminal behaviour. She would no longer be my friend and I would tell her why.

No, not unreasonable to be disappointed at all. I would cut ties because I wouldn't feel comfortable in her company again.

I think I would explain why I was upset with her if I could find a way of doing so without being all moral about it.

I gave money to my grandchildren from the money I inherited from my mother. It is legal ( I have forgotten the term) but it means they can have more without paying inheritance tax.
There is a limit as to how much you can give to grandchildren or children as a gift per year, but this distribution is extra and doesn't count.
I don't claim any benefits but if I did I could have given the lot away without affecting my claim. Legally.

I couldn't and wouldn't ever be friends with someone like that. She's a thief, in effect, and a liar.

OK, we always need a little voice to play devil's advocate.

We have many many posts and threads saying how people who have money to leave to their children shouldn't have to have it taxed, or sell their houses, because everybody wants to leave something to their children. So they expect the state to fund them even though they have assets or money in the bank.

Isn't the friend just passing on her money while she is still alive, rather than waiting until she needs care, or until she's gone?