Silly Songs

Another verse to the 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me' rhyme
The long thin slimy ones
Slip down easily
The short fat furry ones stick
When the short fat furry ones
Stick in your teeth
That's when's the juice goes "Schliiick" (making a Hannibal Lecter noise)

we used to song it on the school bus and annoy the driver, poor man.

Not last night but the night before
Three little Tom cats came knocking at our door
One had a fiddle
One had a drum
And the other had a cymbal stuck to his bum

Another one from girl guides;

There are turtles, turtles wearing ladies girdles at the store, at the store,
repeat then add : at the Quartermaster's store.

My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I have not brought my specs with me..

There are ants, ants, wearing ladies pants at the store, at the store...

Each person goes around the circle adding a silly verse.

Elleks
A bit like this one -
All of a sudden a big black pudden
Came flying through the door.
It missed me Ma
And hit me Pa
And landed on the chair.

‘‘Twas in the month of Liverpool
In the city of July
The rain was pouring heavily
And the streets were very dry.

The elephant is a bonny bird
It flits from bough to bough
It makes its nest in the rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow

MaggsMcG

The rest of the meatball one.
It rolled off the table and on to the floor and them my poor meatball rolled out of the door. It rolled through the garden then under a Bush and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

We sang that in Guides.

Shinamae

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

Ever seen a policeman doing up his flies, flies are nuisance bugs are worse this is the end of my little verse ?

Yours is the version I knew.

The rest of the meatball one.
It rolled off the table and on to the floor and them my poor meatball rolled out of the door. It rolled through the garden then under a Bush and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

My friend Billy, had a 10ft willy, and he showed it to the woman next door.

She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake.

And now it's only 5ft 4.

Yammy - my Grandad used to sing that one to me.
I think it ended "Marching to the Shanty War".

MissAdventure

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris,
I wonder where them birdies is,
Them little birds is on the wing,
Ain't that absurd?
Them little wings is on the bird!

What a grubby lot we are.

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

I had two Belgian rabbits, one was a Belgian buck
I put them on the mantelpiece to see if they would...
Farmer went to market to buy two dozen eggs
Twenty two in a basket and two between his...
Lucy in the garden lying on the grass
Down game a bumble bee and stung her on her...
Ask no questions, tell no lies
I saw a Chinaman fastening up his...
Flies are a nuisance, bugs are worse
This is the end of my dirty little verse!

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

One fine morning in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords
And shot each other.

Taught to us by our beloved Uncle Barry.

Now I've not heard that one for so long, I'd forgotten it.

Spider, spider on the wall
Have you got no sense at all
Can't you see that wall's been plastered
Come down here you silly spider

Some ga with tartan britches,
Some ga with nin at oh,
Some ga with big bare arses marching through the snow.
Meant to be about Bonnie Prince Charlies' retreat through Cumberland.

Midgey
My little granddaughters in Australia were actually taught that one at kindergarten along with the actions

On top of spaghetti all covered in cheese
I lost my poor meat ball when somebody sneezed
It rolled down the garden and into a bush
Then my poor meat ball was nothing but mush.

Love your version coco

Awww your version is a lot tamer ??

On top of Old Smokey
All covered in smoke.
There stands Betty Grable
Without any clothes.
Up comes Roy Rogers
Clippity Clop
Down come his trousers
And out come his c*

I had no idea about all of this when I sang it aged eight. My mother smacked me

Sung to Herman Hermits ( I think) Sunshine Girl

Sunshine girl I'm looking down your bra
I see two round things
I wonder what they are
It would delight me
If you'd invite me
To squeeze them tightly
My sunshine girl

I love a sausage, a cooperative sausage,
I went out and bought one for my tea,
When I went along the lobby, to see my Uncle Bobby,
The sausage it followed me,

To the tune of 'I love a lassie'
This was 1 of my Dads silly songs ,