Silly Songs

(The Yellow Rose of Texas)
Oh, the Yellow Rose of Texas
And the man from Laramie
Invited Davey Crockett to have a cup of tea.
The tea was so delicious they had another cup
And left poor Davey Crockett to do the washing up.

Found it! One verse only.

But this one is naughty;

There's a Yellow Rose In Texas
Where Davey Crockett peed
This famous amber flower
Was once a plain white weed
Now it's mother nature's tribute
For his heroic deed
That Yellow Rose Of Texas
Is where Davey Crockett peed..

This sweetest rose of color
Grows wild throughout the state
It blooms for dedication
Cause Davey was so great
With Jim Bowie and others,
He died at the Alamo
One of the greatest sacrifices
The world will ever know

When you drive on vacation
And cross that Texas line
Look for them on the prairie
Their blossoms sweet entwine
They grow there to remind us
What history has decreed
Yes, The Yellow Rose Of Texas
Is where Davey Crockett peed..

..The Yellow Rose Of Texas
Is where Davey Crockett peed...

Scooby scooby doo, did a poo..
Inside Shaggy's slipper.
Shaggy put it on, what a pong!
It made him shake and shiver.

MiniMoon we sang the tea was so disgusting they poured it down the drain! But I had completely forgotten the last line so thanks for that. (Will be an ear worm for days now).

I’m Popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
There’s a hole in the middle
Where I do a piddle
I’m Popeye the sailor man.

sung by a four year old reception child when we were having a Friday afternoon ‘concert’

Hitler has only got one Ball The other is in the Albert Hall His mother who was a silly old bu**er Cut it off him when he was small I remember that song from infants school although it wasn’t until older I understood it ??

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

To the tune of in a country garden

What do you do
If you want to do a poo
In an english country garden
You find a big leaf and wipe your underneath
In an English country garden
Find a big spade and bury what you made
In an English country garden

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

Carries on to -
Ask no questions, tell no lies, I saw a policeman doing up his Flies are a nuisance, fleas are worse, and that is the end of my clean verse.

What’s the time, half past nine, hang your britches on the line, when they are dry bring them in, put them in a biscuit tin ?

My friends just told me one about a woman from Leeds but I think it’s too rude to put on here

Yum, yum, bubblegum...
I dare not post the rest, but my mum would have had a fit if she knew I ever had said it .

Ma maws a millionaire
Blue eyes n curly hair
Sittinn among the Eskimos
Playin a game of dominoes
Willnae get up to wipe ma nose
Ma maws a mullionare

Oompah oompah, stick it up yer joompah!
Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam.
We threw sausages at my old man.
They put him on a stretcher, they put him on a bed.
They rubbed his belly with a 5 pound jelly, but the poor old soul was dead.

Audi10

My friends just told me one about a woman from Leeds but I think it’s too rude to put on here

There was a young lady from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
Within half an hour,
She had sprouted a flower,
And her bum was covered in leaves.

There an old man called Crocket... who went to the moon in a rocket.
The rocket went BANG!

To-day's the day they are giving out babies with half a pound of tea,
If you know any ladies, who want any babies, Then send them along to me.
I remember a boy cousin chanting that and being very told off by my Mum. I was about 5 at the time and didn't really know what all the fuss was about but I've never forgotten the verse and I was probably about 15 when I realised what the verse was actually saying. I led a very sheltered life!

Old Jimmy Dyer pi....d in the fire,
The fire was too hot so he pi...d in the pot.
A relation recited this on their first day at infant school and was reported to their mum. My gran was really to blame as she childminder them.

My nan used to sing "yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum. I fell over and I hurt my bum".
We thought she was terrible, and rude, and daring!

Quick, quick the cat’s been sick
Where, where?
Under the chair
Hasten, hasten, fetch the basin
No, no fetch the po
Kate, Kate it’s much too late
The carpet’s in a dreadful state.

Oh the black cat widdled in the white cat's eye
The white cat said "I'll tell your mother"
Then the white cat said "Don't give a d**mn"
And widdled into the other!

Sung to my mum by my Nanny when she was little!! We learnt it too, and sang it to my two DGs, with strict instructions that it was not to be sung anywhere but at home...

Forgot to say, I taught my DDs to sing it "Then the black cat said don't give a FIG"...

My DC used to sing

Happy birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew
Bread and butter in the gutter
Happy birthday to you

One of my favourites was Tom Lehrer

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
(there's one sitting on the chimney who just started cooing in protest ?)

Fatty and skinny went up in a balloon.
Fatty let a fart off and blew skinny doon.
And a much ruder one about Popeye who lived with his Granny in a caravan.