Silly Songs

Just loving these ditties, so many memories especially popeye and the caravan, popeye the sailer man, went in a caravan, sat on the gas and burnt his xxxx haha. Thanks for the giggle on a grey day.

I remember this song from 'The Beezer' comic about Baby Crockett.

Born in a bungalow and not yet three,
The wildest babe in the whole country,
The terror of his ma and his pa is he,
And his grandpa feels safer up a tree.
Baby, baby Crockett, king of the family.

A Welsh one?

Cosher Bailey's sister Maud
She thought babies came from God
But it was'n the Almighty
That lifted up her nightie....

And I just found this one I didn't know! :

Cosher Bailey's cousin Morgan
Played a very large organ
It was long and it was narrow
And he wheeled it in a barrow.

Aunty Mary had a canary
up the leg of her drawers
When she farted, down it darted
With a round of applause

That little ditty is is now stuck in my head, it'll be days before I can get rid of it

Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy lost his willy
On the motorway.

Also...

A bug and a flea
Went out to tea
Upon a reel of cotton
The bug got lost
The flea got found
Upon a lady's bottom.

My mam used to say a one in the house when no one was around.

Fanny Blot and Bella Blah hole
Kissed the donkey’s A***hole!

I once told it to my teacher, haha! She wasn’t impressed!

No body likes me, every body hates me
Think I’ll go and eat worms
Long thin squiggly ones
Short fat wiggly ones
see how the little ones squirm

Bite their heads off
Suck all the juice out
Throw their skins away
No body knows how well we’ll thrive
On worms, three times a day

My grand daughter adored this

Mary Jane had a wee wane and didn't know how to nurse it. She gave it some tea and it shouted wee wee and it's poor wee belly burst-ed.

We learned the Hitler one as:

Hitler has only got one ball,
Goering has two but very small,
Himmler has something similar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

A song about cricket, of course…

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I’ve often seen her little lamb,
But never seen her bear.

And a rhyme that was not adult approved:

My friend Billy had a ten foot Willy,
And he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake,
So now it’s only six feet four.

My teacher has a bunion, a face like a pickled onion, a nose like a squased tomato and legs like matchsticks

The song that comes to my mind any time there's a question about US states on pointless is What did Delaware boys by Perry Como.
She wore her New Jersey Boys
What did Idaho boys
She hoed her Maryland boys
She saw what Arkansaw boys
etc etc etc ...

One day I took my mother-in-law a-swimming in the ocean
Oh how she screamed and splashed about
She made such a commotion!
I laughed ha-ha, he-he, ha-ha
Oh how I laughed and gloated
For one of her legs was made of Cork
And upside down she floated!

Audi10

What’s the time, half past nine, hang your britches on the line, when they are dry bring them in, put them in a biscuit tin ?

What’s the time
Half past nine
When a copper comes along
Hurry up and put them on

Hey diddle diddle
The cat did a piddle in the middle of the kitchen floor
The little dog had such fun
The cat did a little bit more

Then of course in December we started on
"While shepherds washed their socks by night
All boiling in a pot
The angel of the Lord came down
And pinched the flippin' lot" ?

If you’re feeling sad and glum
Stick your finger up your bum…

A favourite of my younger brother, but I can’t remember the rest.

Not a song, but a verse, a favourite of my father!

A sigh is a current of wind
Proceeding from the heart
But when it takes a southbound course
It’s commonly called a fart.

A fart is very welcome (?)
It gives the body ease
It warms the bed in winter
And suffocates the fleas.

Watchdog in the night
I never chained you
I’ve always trained you to protect my house all the night through
When those burglars came you didn’t mind it
They were after loot
You helped them find it
Etc etc Apologies to Mad Magazine and Frank Sinatra

Kate1949

We thought this was daring as policemen terrified us -
1,2,3 Johnny caught a flea
He put it in the teapot and made a cup of tea
The flea jumped out and John began to shout
'Here comes a copper with his shirt hanging out'

Oh, I do remember one.

Good King Wenslas
Knocked a bobby senseless
Right in the middle of Marks and Spencer’s.

Land of soap and water
Mother wash my feet
Father cut my toe nails
Til they're nice and neat.

Mary had a metal cow
She milked it with a spanner.
The milk came out in shilling tins
And little ones a tanner.

Completely outmoded now with decimalisation!

OH had a stream of them , I had to put on a disapproving face , to get the kids to scream with laughter
There was an old lady fragment France
Went to an American dance
She ate a banana and music came out of her pants !

That’s the mildest one , there’s one about a train I can’t remember it all !

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
I'd like to see her bear

Mary had a little lamb
it had a sooty foot
And into Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot he put

Latin is a language
As dead as dead can be
It killed the flippin' Romans
And now it's killing me

Nell8 my dad used say that rhyme!

After a loud burp we would say:

Pardon me for being so rude
It was not me it was my food
If it had gone near my heart
Then it would have made me f*