No Help Moving

Agree. I project capability I know this but there’s always the little girl inside that cries for attention
I know when I’m doing it
You’re right. Don’t be afraid to ask it’s just people. And some are drains and radiators too, big hearts or smaller hearts givers & takers
But find it best for me not to judge much as we never know what’s going on in their life at any given time I guess.
I was so envious of others with a supporting partner in the eye hospital waiting room tbh , but also very grateful they each mucked in to paint my new place ?‍♀️ People aye?
Lots of happiness. You never know I got a card 3 weeks after moving from my ex neighbour Shock & surprise

I hope you find your new home a joy and find new friends and pleasant neighbours.

I understand why you felt let down, but reading your post it crossed my mind to wonder if you had actually asked either your son, daughter or neighbours for help?

Admittedly, last time we moved, we got precious little help even after asking for it, but my point is that these days people, even those who have known us longest, and family are so afraid, apparently, to be thought "interfering" that they do not offer help and have to be asked point blank for it.

It's a very stressful time moving and to do it all on your own even more so. I suspect your sadness would be heightened as your husband was no longer with you and all the memories you would be leaving behind in that house would be leaving you emotional.

Well done on getting through it. Enjoy the new chapter in your life and your seaside stay. Best of luck with your home negotiation.

I wouldn't expect neighbours to help with a move.

You have a kind friend, a lovely dog and a family that does care so just think of that. You have found out who really matters now to you so to hell with your old neighbours, you will get nice new ones and for friends who never helped or asked how you got on, you don't need them. You managed your move very well, good luck in you new home ?

Sadly sometimes we can appear too independent and this leads others to think we don't need help but well done and I hope you are happy in your new home and remember the grumpy neighbours are someone else's neighbours now

Very brave to move house without any help specially leaving a home you shared with your late husband. Very best of luck and happiness in your new home.

Pat yourself on the back Linfreed for all you achieved yesterday. I am very sorry you received no assistance from people around you. Try to focus on now rather than the past. Easier said than done!
Have a wonderful time in your bolthole with your beloved spaniel. Love Dogs

Here's wishing you much happiness in the next phase of your life. Hopefully you and your beautiful Spaniel will find somewhere with friendly neighbours. I prefer my pets to my neighbours any day!!!

I feel for you LinFreed It's exhausting moving house at the best of times, but alone!
I hope you are very happy in the new home.

I get angry and frustrated every day by something I have to manage by myself. Today it was chasing up an application for a loan for a new boiler.
The form was 25 pages and I couldn't face doing it online so printed it and posted it in the post box.
Well I may as well have sent it to the moon.
The girl on the phone said, when I broke down in tears, "haven't you somebody you can ask to help?"
I am sure you will know what that feels like!
I tried to tell them that the forms should be simpler but to no avail.

As has already been mentioned a neighbour is very very rarely a close friend. They move and you then form a hopefully untroubled relationship with the new neighbours. when neighbours have moved or I have moved I have never expected or even hinted I needed their help and will have said goodbye in some way but never kept in touch with them after they or I have moved. I think because of your memories of the house with your husband you are understandably feeling over sensitive. Your neighbours were not, I believe being intentionally ignorant, it's just how you have perceived it.

Glad that worked out well for you Chewbacca it must have been an anxious time, waiting to see if anyone would turn up and how lovely that some you invited, brought others along too.

Great idea Chewbacca and brave too. So glad it all worked out so well. Most people are nice and friendly given the opportunity. Our nieghbours area very interesting and pleasant bunch. We quite often all get together in the garden of our flats. All so different but with lots of varied life experience to share.

You had a rotten day yesterday LinFreed, moving house is exhausting and emotional anyway but especially so when you've been there a long time. Forget the ex neighbours; they're no loss. But try to get on friendly terms with your new ones. How about having a bit of a house warming and inviting them in for coffee. I knew no one when I moved here 3 years ago, absolutely no one. So, at Christmas, I put a post it note on Christmas cards inviting a few nearby neighbours in for a drink on a specific evening. I was dreading no one turning up! But everyone came, brought a bottle with them, and some even brought neighbours they thought I'd like to meet. I had a full house of new friends and neighbours, some of whom hadn't socialised with each other in all the time they'd lived here. It was definitely a leap in the dark but very sucessful in getting to know new neighbours. Good luck in your new home.

Im glad to hear that your friend supported you throughout the day. However our friends are people we choose so its upto us to choose wisely. As for neighbours well they are just random people who happen to live next door and we are more or less stuck with them. Thats why I never become involved with neighbours.

j52 I agree My Spaniel has been my saviour and constant.

I'm so happy being at my bolthole. A friend, who lives on my block here, has just popped in to see if I'm coming to bridge tomorrow. I've managed to set up my computer & TV via WiFi and I pat myself on the back for being so strong, appreciated by those that care and independent.

So.pleased I left the neighbour grumps behind.

Well done you! You’ve achieved a big event single handed. I’d prefer the company of a Spaniel to some of my relatives. I hope you gave him/ her a special treat.
Enjoy your new home.

Moving is one if the most stressful situations we face.

Well done, now relax and enjoy.

I have learnt to swallow my pride and ask for help since my mobility has begun to limit me. So when my garage needed sorting out I asked my daughter, who lives 20 miles away, to come and help which she did, lugging heavy things around and taking things to the tip. She did keep quite a lot for herself!

Later in the year I will ask my son to come up for a weekend, he’s about 100 miles away, so he can help me with some gardening jobs. Well, by help I mean I will sit and supervise him doing the work! We will have a family get together while he and his partner are here, either go out for a meal with my daughter or have a takeaway. He wants to help me so I save things up that he can do!

But I am still fiercely independent on other ways as friends keep on saying, I don’t like them to make a fuss about my mobility problems but I do now let them carry my bag if needs be. I think if you appear to cope with life in general then friends and family might assume that you don’t need any help.

Moving house though is very hard, both physically and emotionally. I left my family home ten years ago to move 100 miles back to where I was born and I can remember crying as I drove away.

Also, if you're paying someone to do the removal I think people would assume you had it sorted.

aveline I'm staying at my bolthole by the sea for 2 months, as I'm still negotiating the new place.

I have lovely friends and neighbours here and always enjoy myself. I was giving to live here permanently, but DD was upset I was leaving Lobdon and wouldn't be around to babysit!

Anyway I want to be nearer my GC, especially my sweet GD with whom I have a great relationship. Also, at my age feel better nearer to some family.

FarNorth

In your situation, I wouldn't have expected help from neighbours, unless I asked, and would have gone myself to say goodbye to them if I felt we were friendly enough for that.
My adult kids would probably think I was coping wonderfully, unless I told them otherwise, but would show interest / offer help if they knew I needed it.

Same here, farnorth. I wouldn't automatically expect help from anyone but family members would certainly pitch in if asked.

Times like this show you who your true friends are and sometimes they're not who you might think they are. Those nieghbours weren't friends. Forget them. Did new nieghbours make contact at all? Maybe expect the doorbell to ring or welcome card in the next few days? Keep the kettle to hand...

All good wishes for your new home linfreed. Hope you are very happy there and have good neighbours. People do disappoint at times, we also find it hard to ask for help, usually us doing the helping. Food for thought.

You're not alone Linfreed. I too feel disappointed by people sometimes. That's life.
And family would not help unless I asked.
But you have good friends and a new home to enjoy.?