No Help Moving

God bless you LinFreed ... I am sure He will ... bought a tear to my eye ... how sad for you ... I found when my husband passed away you find out your true friends & neighbours are ... but ... to move in the way you did seems like no help & no goodbyes, not even a cup of tea must have been so hard for you ... saying that ... seems like if people were like that you are possibly better in moving ... couldn't you have changed the date of moving so your daughter could have helped ... saying that about your son ... a friend used to say something like ... a son is a son till he finds a wife ... if you know my meaning ... your best & loyal friend is your Spaniel, God bless him ... unconditionally love ... also glad you had a good friend who constantly contacted you through the day nice to hear you have lovely friends too, also you have you paintings & bridge games ... I agree with you Life certainly teaches us lessons

Well done for coping with your move alone.
It’s sad your family were not able to help and neighbours were not about. Don’t dwell on this too much if you can.
I wish you much happiness in your new home. Well done. Greetings to you and your ? and glad your friend was supporting you from a distance.
Lots to occupy you now but try to factor in a few breaks too.

Hope you have better neighbours too.

LinFreed, you had a very stressful and tiring day yesterday, relax now if possible and absorb your new surroundings. At the very least your neighbours could have said goodbye and good luck! Hope your children make contact soon , please don't bear a grudge - it is never helpful. I wish you every happiness in your new home - enjoy making new friends.

So sorry moving day was hard, I hope you enjoy your new home.

Hmm, gives one pause for thought.
People can let us down, can’t they? I don’t imagine it’s anything to do with dealing with widows, just pure thoughtlessness and selfishness.
Without knowing you, though, I wonder if you project an image of efficiency and independence to your family who are not neglecting or ignoring you but thinking “Mum’s great, isn’t she coping well”
You can’t win!
Glad you do have good friends on whom you can rely and of course a faithful hound!

Wishing you every happiness in your new home LinFreed.

I am also a widow and had lived in my house with the same neighbours for over twenty years, no goodbye or good luck wishes either. My neighbour watched me struggling to move alone for weeks, and only offered help on one occasion because his partner was home to 'witness' his 'kindness'. He had started to bully me about access etc when my husband died and I saw him for what he was. Don't give them a second thought, forget them as ignorant individuals.

Maybe your neighbors thought that you would pop over and say goodbye when you were ready? Maybe you could have asked your son for some help? I'm guessing that you are quite stoic and just get on with things. I would be inclined to live and learn and hope you are very happy in your new home.

mawthemerrier I think you have hit on something there. I gave up bring a local authority councillor and graduated as well as graduate as a Fine Art student this year. I'm 70.

So I think perhaps they think/know I cope. I suppose I need to show more vulnerability, which I have recently. I has a really loving day with my 35 year old son last Sunday. He's just started a new job this week and loved it with a new girlfriend, do I give him the benefit of the doubt. He verbally and physically shows his love for me...he tells me how proud he is of my achievements. So I'm blessed really

Now is the time to settle into your new home and start this new and exciting chapter in your life LinFreed. Moving is stressful and often emotional at the best of times, so to have got through it on your own, with just your dear Spaniel by your side, is an enormous accomplishment.

I can understand why your upset that your neighbours didn't say goodbye, I'd be upset too but don't give it any more thought. You have new neighbours now.

Son's they're a funny bunch sometimes aren't they but usually come up trumps, just tend to take a bit longer to do what needs to be done.

You'll be hearing from him very soon I'm sure.

In your situation, I wouldn't have expected help from neighbours, unless I asked, and would have gone myself to say goodbye to them if I felt we were friendly enough for that.
My adult kids would probably think I was coping wonderfully, unless I told them otherwise, but would show interest / offer help if they knew I needed it.

^^
Not just wittering about myself. I was trying to show that people are different and that others don't always fit with your expectations.

farnirth I did actually text the young couple of one side, and she wished me well with the move. It was the older grouchy ones on the other who were ill mannered.

I've always been pleasant to them and my late dh even had him over fir a drink just after we moved in. When dh suddenly passed, they never really acknowledged it or had me over. Just ignorinmouses really.

Excuse my typos...I really should preview before sending!

All the best in your new ?! Out with the old, in with the new ! I hope you will have a long and lovely relationship with your new neighbours

Forget those grumpy gits, then.

All the best in your new home .

When we moved here two sons came to help the third didn’t as he was at work. He’s been the same since we moved here but as my husband said if we won the lottery he’d be first at the door?life ladies as we know it! Good luck in your new home forget the neighbours before and enjoy your new ones!

You're not alone Linfreed. I too feel disappointed by people sometimes. That's life.
And family would not help unless I asked.
But you have good friends and a new home to enjoy.?

All good wishes for your new home linfreed. Hope you are very happy there and have good neighbours. People do disappoint at times, we also find it hard to ask for help, usually us doing the helping. Food for thought.

Times like this show you who your true friends are and sometimes they're not who you might think they are. Those nieghbours weren't friends. Forget them. Did new nieghbours make contact at all? Maybe expect the doorbell to ring or welcome card in the next few days? Keep the kettle to hand...

FarNorth

In your situation, I wouldn't have expected help from neighbours, unless I asked, and would have gone myself to say goodbye to them if I felt we were friendly enough for that.
My adult kids would probably think I was coping wonderfully, unless I told them otherwise, but would show interest / offer help if they knew I needed it.

Same here, farnorth. I wouldn't automatically expect help from anyone but family members would certainly pitch in if asked.

aveline I'm staying at my bolthole by the sea for 2 months, as I'm still negotiating the new place.

I have lovely friends and neighbours here and always enjoy myself. I was giving to live here permanently, but DD was upset I was leaving Lobdon and wouldn't be around to babysit!

Anyway I want to be nearer my GC, especially my sweet GD with whom I have a great relationship. Also, at my age feel better nearer to some family.

Also, if you're paying someone to do the removal I think people would assume you had it sorted.

I have learnt to swallow my pride and ask for help since my mobility has begun to limit me. So when my garage needed sorting out I asked my daughter, who lives 20 miles away, to come and help which she did, lugging heavy things around and taking things to the tip. She did keep quite a lot for herself!

Later in the year I will ask my son to come up for a weekend, he’s about 100 miles away, so he can help me with some gardening jobs. Well, by help I mean I will sit and supervise him doing the work! We will have a family get together while he and his partner are here, either go out for a meal with my daughter or have a takeaway. He wants to help me so I save things up that he can do!

But I am still fiercely independent on other ways as friends keep on saying, I don’t like them to make a fuss about my mobility problems but I do now let them carry my bag if needs be. I think if you appear to cope with life in general then friends and family might assume that you don’t need any help.

Moving house though is very hard, both physically and emotionally. I left my family home ten years ago to move 100 miles back to where I was born and I can remember crying as I drove away.