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No Help Moving

(68 Posts)
Harris27 Thu 28-Jul-22 10:36:27

When we moved here two sons came to help the third didn’t as he was at work. He’s been the same since we moved here but as my husband said if we won the lottery he’d be first at the door?life ladies as we know it! Good luck in your new home forget the neighbours before and enjoy your new ones!

FarNorth Thu 28-Jul-22 10:32:23

Forget those grumpy gits, then.

All the best in your new home .

crazyH Thu 28-Jul-22 09:48:51

All the best in your new ?! Out with the old, in with the new ! I hope you will have a long and lovely relationship with your new neighbours flowers

LinFreed Thu 28-Jul-22 09:44:19

Excuse my typos...I really should preview before sending!

LinFreed Thu 28-Jul-22 09:43:31

farnirth I did actually text the young couple of one side, and she wished me well with the move. It was the older grouchy ones on the other who were ill mannered.

I've always been pleasant to them and my late dh even had him over fir a drink just after we moved in. When dh suddenly passed, they never really acknowledged it or had me over. Just ignorinmouses really.

FarNorth Thu 28-Jul-22 09:38:26

^^
Not just wittering about myself. I was trying to show that people are different and that others don't always fit with your expectations.

FarNorth Thu 28-Jul-22 09:36:12

In your situation, I wouldn't have expected help from neighbours, unless I asked, and would have gone myself to say goodbye to them if I felt we were friendly enough for that.
My adult kids would probably think I was coping wonderfully, unless I told them otherwise, but would show interest / offer help if they knew I needed it.

Smileless2012 Thu 28-Jul-22 09:31:34

Now is the time to settle into your new home and start this new and exciting chapter in your life LinFreed. Moving is stressful and often emotional at the best of times, so to have got through it on your own, with just your dear Spaniel by your side, is an enormous accomplishment.

I can understand why your upset that your neighbours didn't say goodbye, I'd be upset too but don't give it any more thought. You have new neighbours now.

Son's they're a funny bunch sometimes aren't they but usually come up trumps, just tend to take a bit longer to do what needs to be done.

You'll be hearing from him very soon I'm sureflowers.

LinFreed Thu 28-Jul-22 09:31:21

mawthemerrier I think you have hit on something there. I gave up bring a local authority councillor and graduated as well as graduate as a Fine Art student this year. I'm 70.

So I think perhaps they think/know I cope. I suppose I need to show more vulnerability, which I have recently. I has a really loving day with my 35 year old son last Sunday. He's just started a new job this week and loved it with a new girlfriend, do I give him the benefit of the doubt. He verbally and physically shows his love for me...he tells me how proud he is of my achievements. So I'm blessed really

Daisymae Thu 28-Jul-22 09:22:29

Maybe your neighbors thought that you would pop over and say goodbye when you were ready? Maybe you could have asked your son for some help? I'm guessing that you are quite stoic and just get on with things. I would be inclined to live and learn and hope you are very happy in your new home.

Razzamatazz Thu 28-Jul-22 09:20:19

Wishing you every happiness in your new home LinFreed.

I am also a widow and had lived in my house with the same neighbours for over twenty years, no goodbye or good luck wishes either. My neighbour watched me struggling to move alone for weeks, and only offered help on one occasion because his partner was home to 'witness' his 'kindness'. He had started to bully me about access etc when my husband died and I saw him for what he was. Don't give them a second thought, forget them as ignorant individuals.

MawtheMerrier Thu 28-Jul-22 09:06:35

Hmm, gives one pause for thought.
People can let us down, can’t they? I don’t imagine it’s anything to do with dealing with widows, just pure thoughtlessness and selfishness.
Without knowing you, though, I wonder if you project an image of efficiency and independence to your family who are not neglecting or ignoring you but thinking “Mum’s great, isn’t she coping well”
You can’t win!
Glad you do have good friends on whom you can rely and of course a faithful hound!

luluaugust Thu 28-Jul-22 09:06:32

So sorry moving day was hard, I hope you enjoy your new home.

Shelflife Thu 28-Jul-22 08:58:16

LinFreed, you had a very stressful and tiring day yesterday, relax now if possible and absorb your new surroundings. At the very least your neighbours could have said goodbye and good luck! Hope your children make contact soon , please don't bear a grudge - it is never helpful. I wish you every happiness in your new home - enjoy making new friends.

silverlining48 Thu 28-Jul-22 08:56:09

Hope you have better neighbours too.

silverlining48 Thu 28-Jul-22 08:53:27

Well done for coping with your move alone.
It’s sad your family were not able to help and neighbours were not about. Don’t dwell on this too much if you can.
I wish you much happiness in your new home. Well done. Greetings to you and your ? and glad your friend was supporting you from a distance.
Lots to occupy you now but try to factor in a few breaks too. flowers

Beautful Thu 28-Jul-22 07:34:31

God bless you LinFreed ... I am sure He will ... bought a tear to my eye ... how sad for you ... I found when my husband passed away you find out your true friends & neighbours are ... but ... to move in the way you did seems like no help & no goodbyes, not even a cup of tea must have been so hard for you ... saying that ... seems like if people were like that you are possibly better in moving ... couldn't you have changed the date of moving so your daughter could have helped ... saying that about your son ... a friend used to say something like ... a son is a son till he finds a wife ... if you know my meaning ... your best & loyal friend is your Spaniel, God bless him ... unconditionally love ... also glad you had a good friend who constantly contacted you through the day nice to hear you have lovely friends too, also you have you paintings & bridge games ... I agree with you Life certainly teaches us lessons

LinFreed Thu 28-Jul-22 07:07:58

I moved house yesterday. This was the house where I lived with my late dh and where he suddenly passed 5 years ago.

I disposed of most if the furniture (via British Heart Foubdation who rejected most of the items because of sometimes minimal wear). It was an exhausting and emotional day.

This morning, I am reflecting on the fact that my neighbours either side never offered me a tea or said their goodbyes. I've always been pleasant to them, but maybe they don't feel comfortable dealing with widows.

My daughter just asked how it went via text at the end of the day, as she was away with her in-laws and family. Not heard from my son yet.

If it hadn't been for the comfort of my dear beloved Spaniel, I don't know how I would have coped.

Seeing how the neighbours treated me by their absence and silence, I'm relieved to be away from there and start a new life. I have lovely friends (one who was in contact throughout the day) and a full life with my painting and sometimes bridge games. Life certainly teaches us lesso s!