Beach ready bodies

No ,don’t go on a beach and sun bake. Too risky. Skin cancers are rife here ( I have had 2 and have one right now on my nose) . Husband had a melanoma on his face and he wasn’t one to spend long on a beach. They are unpleasant and often deadly and need skin grafts and horrible surgery. Just not worth it, even in cooler climates.

The 'beach ready' thing seems to be about people who go to the beach to sunbathe and be seen. My local beach is exactly the opposite of that with people of all shapes and sizes in all kinds of clothes building sandcastles with their kids, windsurfing, flying kites and swimming. Nobody ever seems to give a hoot. The local 'mermaids' are a group of women (and some mer-men) of every age and shape who take a dip most days of the year in everything from wet suits to bikinis and a bobble hat. People arrive on bikes in their shorts/dry robes/ work clothes, strip off and throw themselves at the sea. If you're on the beach then you're beach ready. Come as you are. Fish and chips and hot choc for everyone afterwards.

Real life seems much happier, relaxed and easier than the life you read about in the papers.

Aveline

*Maw*! I'm disappointed in you! David Beckham?!

I wasn’t looking at his IQ!

I guessed that! As soon as he starts to speak I'm off.

Sad to see a few sexist posts here, I know of three men who are too embarrassed to show parts of their body on a beach, not looking for the nearest pub either, Men are human too with feelings and insecurities.
If a picture of a woman’s behind had been posted by a man on GN I can imagine the furore.
Disappointing.

I'm disappointed that you're disappointed Jaxjacky! This thread is about bodies. They're not all awful!

The impression I have is that no-one cares what they look like now. You see all shapes and sizes in beach pictures and video footage. I agree making an effort to look your best is a good idea if you're going to spend time lying around in a bikini, and I'm sure the younger ones do want to look attractive (as I would have) especially if with a group of friends who might be eyeballing them!

Yes Chestnut in a nutshell! ( absolutely no pun intended) I would have cared when hoping to attract a certain someone when I was much younger.
Now I’m not I don’t care ?

I recently read a post from a young woman who said it had cost her as much to get 'holiday ready' as it did for the holiday - and took just as long. She'd had her brows, eyelashes, hands and feet done, legs waxed, had a fake tan, hair reshaped, and a few facials. She had also bought five new bikinis, three pairs of shorts and three pairs of flip flops but hadn't yet found everything she felt she would need.

Sort of related....

So a couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?' He hadn't and said so.
Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.
The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
'Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'
'Batteries?' cried the wife.
'Yes!' he replied. 'She Sells C Cells down by the Seashore!'

Baggs

There is a cure: don't go on typical beach holidays. I've never understood the attraction of lying on a beach scantily clad and faffing around with potions and lotions to avoid sunburn even though you're inviting it by being scantily clad. Mad.

?? ditto

AreWeThereYet

I recently read a post from a young woman who said it had cost her as much to get 'holiday ready' as it did for the holiday - and took just as long. She'd had her brows, eyelashes, hands and feet done, legs waxed, had a fake tan, hair reshaped, and a few facials. She had also bought five new bikinis, three pairs of shorts and three pairs of flip flops but hadn't yet found everything she felt she would need.

And the daft thing is- nobody gives a hoot! They're all lying flat out eyes closed or reading(steady, a trashy mag I mean) or looking at.....themselves! As for beaches? They're for kids/playful adults. Not the conducive to a comfy day! All that sand, sticky sweaty no bogs less than half a mile away and along the lines of an open sewer in a shack (abroad usually)nope ! Hotel pool waiter service sensible folks who don't stare and compare.aaaahhhhh.....mmm....

My body is beach ready. Complete with paunch and a 'zipper' which runs from between my boobs down to my pubes, swerving around my navel, where I had countless staples after live-saving surgery. Not that I've any interest in sunbathing but have no compunction in removing the layers on a beach stroll.

Regardless of body image issues, I think the Spanish campaign is a ploy, allied to their minimum spending money requirement, to get older tourists into their country. They want higher spending visitors and that broadly means oldies.

Jaylou

My body is beach ready, I look like a whale.

Me to. I'm 70, have had 4 large babies, am overweight and am as I am. Even if I were to lose 3 stone I'd just look baggy and saggy - but so what?
TBH a beach holiday would not be for me, I'm fair skinned and have already had non-dangerous skin cancer. Also I sweat like a navvy when even slightly warm!

I think, in general, the younger generation of men as well as women worry about being beach ready, thanks to the likes of Love Island. Perdonally i don't like the plastic clone look, natual is so much prettier.

I agree with some posts that sunbathing should not be encouraged, a quick exposure for Vitamin D production and then factor 50 and cover up. I’m seeing a lot of lobsters locally so the message about skin cancer is not getting through, but what makes me very angry is unprotected babies with red skin.

Not sure I’d want to expose much on my local beach - not while the water companies are flushing sewage into the water courses. There’s been some very nasty looking brown scum on the sand recently.

Just as a matter of interest, I bought a couple of underwired tankini tops and shorts from Landsend. They are really nice.

save up all year, to baste myself in oils on a far away beach- bonkers!

Granmarderby10

Phillip111 Exactly they are more likely to agonise over the proximity of the pub to said beach?

Yes, Granmarderby10.... in fact they often rub their very large paunches affectionately ( often gained at the pub) and are not in any way self conscious. Who cares about the male gaze judging us and grading us!
In any case at this age we are mostly invisible so ..relax!

I don't think my body has ever been beach ready. In my teens I was a skinny boyish figure, probably the 'right' shape in my twenties & thirties, then after 3 kids everything headed south and has stayed there. Do I care? No, never have. I am what I am and who I am. I don't care what other people think.

I have never enjoyed just sitting on a beach sunbathing, I'm bored after half an hour. I have to have something to do. And I can't swim so I have never bothered with swimming cozzies.

To me being beach ready means having sunscreen, sunglasses, a good book or magazine, camera, sketch pad & pens, cash for a cup of tea, and a bag to take our rubbish home in. I sometimes can't believe all the stuff people take to the beach with them - tents, tables, chairs, barbecues, windbreaks, dinghies and inflatables, umbrellas etc etc!!

Some years ago we watched a family walk up and down a beach trying to decide where to sit. There was plenty of room. They then spent ages erecting what I can only describe as a marquee, it was ginormous!! But what really amused us were the number of people that approached them asking if they were doing tea and sandwiches! But after a couple of hours the wind was picking up and the marquee was on the move, and the tide was coming in. They just managed to dismantle it in time.

We live just a few miles from some lovely beaches but rarely go there as there are no 'facilities' (rather necessary for me), and we can't take our dog in high season. Though TBH I much prefer a brisk walk along an empty beach in the cooler months or after a storm.

I've given up laying on the beach. People keep pouring buckets of water over me and pushing me into the sea.

I understand that Gillette started women shaving. They found that they had cornered the razor blade market and looked to expand. They realised that the weren't selling to 50% of the population so the ran two campaigns. In the USA they told women that it was fashionable in the UK to remove hair from legs and underarms. The US ladies wanted to keep up with fashion so they started to buy Gillette lady razors. Meanwhile Gillette also ran a campaign in the UK which said that trend setters in the US were shaving their legs and underarms. Wanting to keep up with the trend setters, UK ladies started to buy Gillette lady razors. Genius marketing not only because they found a whole new market but as the hairs regrew everything had to be regularly repeated.

Very funny puffernutter that gave me a chuckle!

Same here Happysexagenarian much prefer the beach in the autumn and winter. When I had periods of feeling a bit low I found a brisk walk on the beach and a hot chocolate when I got home made me feel better.

They want higher spending visitors and that broadly means oldies.

I don't think anyone spends more than people with kids in tow.

I think they would like to keep the heavy drinking, trouble making types away. We stayed with a friend in a small town in Northern Greece once, and in the evening went to a small taverna. We both had a drink then just had coffee. We noticed people were watching us all the time but thought it was just that they didn't have a lot of tourists. Later my friend told us 'they thought you would be drinking a lot and getting drunk because you are British'.