What in your view is common ?

I suppose it will be a common sight on the care homes lol.

My mum went on a bus run with some women she worked with...She was horrified when she got home..Said the women were drinking smoking and swearing like dockers!...She said one woman was dancing in the aisle of the bus with just her bra and her skirt tucked in her knickers...Said they were common Tarts....Even worse for her they were all back at work on the Monday all nicey nicey she said....We still laugh about that today

Doodlebug, your post about milk and tea made me smile. It’s a debate that someone of our age would have, but I was in a queue on Monday and 3 boys aged about 18 were having having quite a heated row about whether milk should go in first. I was waiting for the jam or cream first argument so I could join in but then they started talking about computer games. How common is that?

Blossoming

I’d rather be ‘common’, it sounds so much more fun than being stuck up and judgemental .

???

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Chewbacca Doodledog apparently, the "upper classes" put milk in the teacup first because their teacups were only of the finest bone china and so therefore more likely to break when boiling tea was poured in. Whereas the "lower classes" had thicker cups that could withstand the sudden influx of boiling tea and so they added their milk after.

This is different! I found a Little Book of Table Manners which was obviously written for the upper classes in the 1930s and gives very clear instructions on every course and how to eat correctly. It is wonderful!

If you can read the last page, it clearly says that milk to be put in the cup after the tea, and each cup should be done separately. Either pour the milk yourself or hand the milk jug to the guest.

I heard this saying many years ago in a serious context referring to people that were not of the upper class.

I cant say I have heard it in recent times.

It is all ridiculous nonsense, bound up with snobbery, isn't it?
All these do's and don'ts.

Common is not a word I normally use, but I do use the word UNcommon, to mean unusual, which makes " common" the norm! Make what you want of that.

Going back to 1662, the Book of Common Prayer ( still in use in some churches today ) contained prayers in English, not Latin, for the use of the Common People, ie ordinary folk.

I have a book on my shelf called "The Common People" by Harrison, published 1984.

The paragraph on the back says: "This book is about the people who are usually left out of history: the men and women who have laboured to make a living in a world they did not create; whose work has sustained that wealthy ruling minority which is normally the subject of history books."

Hands up then. That's most of us, and we should be proud of that.

Blimey.
Full on today, isn't it?

Years ago it was certain shoes. Red was a definite no-no, shoes with a ankle strap, and possibly worst of all, high heels with trousers!

The definition of common that has stayed with me from childhood is eating in the street (in school this was joint top sin together with removing your school hat) but my grandmother regarded a lady going out wearing gloves but no hat as totally behind the pale.

I think I would now describe common, as being loud and inconsiderate of other people, interestingly a characteristic that actually covers all social classes.

I don't think being common/chavvy/skanky (or trailer trash in the USA) is necessarily a class thing, it's more about the way you behave or look. If people behave in a slobbish or dirty manner or look cheap with excessive modifications to face, hair or body then they will be deemed common (or whatever word you prefer).

I don't think anyone could say whether the people who fit that criteria are nice people or not. They may be really lovely people with kind hearts or whatever, but they can still look or behave in a common way.

My Mums list

Eating in the street
Young children with pierced ears.
Holding knife and fork in the wrong hands
Shovelling peas in your mouth
Talking with your mouth full.
Washing hung out haphazardly ?
She called faggots, savoury ducks
And cleaned her buttery knife by sliding it through her toast
Ghewing gum was heinous.

I have none of those, other than talking with your mouth full and bad use of cutlery.

Class, in my judgement is little to do with where a person was bought up, or whether they had a "good job".
You can't buy class, unfortunately for some, so you (one) has to invent reasons why someone is "less than", in order to feel superior.

Your list would be mine too kandinsky

No idea, never think about it. I had parents who were non-judgmental, or at least acted as if they were not, and treated everyone the same, so I never caught the habit of looking down on people.

I thought anything goes these days?

If you can read the last page, it clearly says that milk to be put in the cup after the tea, and each cup should be done separately. Either pour the milk yourself or hand the milk jug to the guest.

Yes, I thought that the 'U' way of doing it was to add the milk later, but what others do really doesn't upset me either way. I like unmilky tea, so don't like anyone putting milk in for me because if it goes in first there is no control over the way it ends up. I would still talk to anyone who put the milk in first though, even if they dunked their biscuit?

MissAdventure

Class, in my judgement is little to do with where a person was bought up, or whether they had a "good job".
You can't buy class, unfortunately for some, so you (one) has to invent reasons why someone is "less than", in order to feel superior.

I agree, and think things like milk in tea, or which cutlery to use are thought up for exactly that reason.

I was taught that manners are about making people feel comfortable, and looking sideways at someone for saying 'couch' or drying their washing in the wrong way is the opposite of that, IMO.

As for tattoos, my daughter has several. I am not a fan at all, but they don't make her 'common'. She is a considerate, well educated and well-mannered person who knows better than to judge a book by its cover.

I don't think when she said something was "common"my mum was looking down on anyone. She just knew that you are judged by others. She came from a very poor background, had little education but was brought up strictly and told there were standards you shouldn't let slip. She was anxious for her children to do well and set the same standards. With my mum the things seemed in built, she always behaved like a lady. In hospital once someone thought she was probably raised in a stone cottage in the Cotswolds, when I said it was a back to back terrace in Hull he couldn't believe it. It wasn't a question of being a snob or of thinking anyone was less than her. It was a question of behaving properly and having respect.

I agree Glorianny that many poorer folk are brought up to be polite, clean and respectful in their ways, and they would not dream of behaving in a rude, slobby or dirty manner. This is not an attempt to be 'posh' (see the posh thread) but simply the correct way to behave.

You seem to get suggesting those poorer people are in the minority

Iam64 If you mean me, I am not suggesting anything as I have no idea of the percentage!

Glorianny Your mother sounds like mine - and her mother, who was of Irish immigrant stock, brought up in deep poverty in rented rooms in Bermondsey. She could have fitted in anywhere, at any level of society because she respected all and expected them to respect her.

As you say, It wasn't a question of being a snob or of thinking anyone was less than her. It was a question of behaving properly and having respect

Again, with exceptions, that is how everybody was bought up, surely?
Our parents wanted us to show our manners, to be polite, to have respect.

They didn't want others to have the opportunity to find us wanting in those things.
Saying that, somebody posted here once about getting her fingers slammed in a door, and her mum being cross that she made a show of herself by screaming.

I must be common because I wear red lipstick and always have. Give me someone considered common any day. I can't abide people who think they are above everyone else. Two penny toffs or fur coat and no knickers as it's said in Liverpool.