All day breakfast ?

Grandmafrench

Now just come on!!! It’s not an exaggeration to say there’s far too much interest in my breakfast consumption. Heavens, it’s supposed to be an all day Café doing all day brekkie - it’s not as if I ‘phoned in an order for a cartload of manurial substances and 12 tins of WD40!

It has to be said, it was delish - which is a bit of a shocker really since staff seem greatly preoccupied with taking off at a moment’s notice to chase down limping men and missing staff. So, well done Smileless and thank you. Little suggestion for Trip Advisor? Get a dishwasher and stop counting the slices of toast…..

Gusto possibly needs me to have a strong word. He should not be allowed to ‘cuddle’ any Café provisions. A goat leg? That dining room seriously hummed whilst I tried to enjoy my breakfast and liberal sprays of rose water are never going to be enough to fool the Health Inspector. As I’ve said, heed the gypsy’s warning, remove him to a dancing-only environment or he’s going to have you shut down just as the belly dancing hot spot takes off.

Do hope that Serendip returns with replacement exotic footwear and un-rumpled toes, and maybe less of the head-banging metal decorations. Remember ladies, standards at all times! Wishing you lots of new (and brave) customers, me and Shakira are off to the pool.

Hahahahaha, that is quite true Grandmafrench a few rashers of bacon and black pudding isn't asking too much....

Well yes, I was side tracked with cracking down the culprit with the binoculars, i was very foolish because as I made my way back, I did see a queue of extremely disgruntled faces stood outside the ALL DAY BREAKFAST cabin and in my shame, I snuck down in the drivers seat and drove on past with haste ..... ohhhh heck .....

I take on board the gypsys warning and I thank you for the spray of rose water to disguise the stink, we will have to think if a way to remove Gusto, the goats legs has now been tossed in the bin and i am going to leave no stone unturned as to exactly WHAT he was doing HUGGING THE LEG IF A GOAT ?!?!?!?! I SHUDDER TO THINK !

Now just to keep you up to date with my replacement turned up winkle picker shoes I have thrown them in the bin along with the goats leg and I have purchased a beautiful diamond encrusted velvet creation, yes, only the best, from Amazon with 100% guarantee they were the real McCoy... so far so good....

Smileless2012

Well we could have provided 6 tins of WD40 without prior warning as I found Serendip's secret stash along with a few cans of Deep Heat Grandmafrench.

Apologies that the rose water sprays didn't alleviate the goat's leg smell but rest assured that has now been taken care of. Point taken about not allowing Gusto anywhere near the kitchen but he's there right now, preparing the goulash.

We'll have to take it in turns to keep an eye on him.

Australian slap dancing sounds like fun Serendip not having anything appropriate to wear I've borrowed a neighbours Morris dancing outfit and have removed all bells so I wont be jingling like I was last night.

Ahhhhh a Morris dancers outfit sounds just tickety boo.

Yes indeed... i have been toying with shall I shimmy and swish my hips around the Arabian gazibo orrrr shall I join the Austrian slap dancers ... I mean either 1 has a remedy for aches, pains and sores in the shape of the Deep Heat ....

Which dance did everyone choose, I must admit I saw quite a few attempting the Austrian Slap Dance, but wasn't entirely sure if slapping each other across the face was all part of the dance routine orrrrrrr if a row was in the process !!!!!

Did you see Gusto tonight ??? He made the goulash then shot out into the night air!!! Strange man he is!

I thought I'd give the Austrian Slap dance a go but found the slapping rather harsh and TBH my bottom was getting a bit sore, and I really didn't want to get involved in the face slapping.

I saw him leave, muttering something about the goat's leg but he was off like a bullet out of a gun. Bearing in mind he asked me this morning if I wanted to see the bedroom, I decided against giving chase in case he got the wrong idea.

The goulash is bubbling away and smells rather lish. Perhaps we should dig in in case Gusto manages to get his hands on another goat's leg and decides to add it to the goulash.

Yes, good idea Smileless I will ding the dong and announce the goulash is ready.

I know precisely what you mean about the slapping, heck i only said to 1 lady "Do you want to join me in slapping?" and before i could blink I felt her hand swat my face, blimey! I don't call this dance much fun!!! She proceeded to turn me upside down and wholloped my bottom, i thought enough is enough and decided that the Austrian Slap Dance is off the list, its beyond painful.

Now where do you think Gusto has run off to ? I saw a man earlier lurking about the kitchen, he looked just like Frank Carson, i tried to slither past the huge cooking pot but Gusto spotted me .... so I made haste outside. I mean i have to be very careful now my diamond encrusted velvet shoes have arrived from Amazon, i dont want goulash dripping on them....

I absolutely baffled as to this goats leg AND WHAT WAS FRANK CARSON'S DOUBLE DOING LURKING AROUND THE KITCHEN ??????

Strange, very strange.

Well, what a lark its been this morning.... I have only JUST showered and dowsed myself in Channel No5 (knock off shhhhh ) I absolutely stunk to high heaven of FAT and GREASE... Gusto has taken over the rashes of bacon and black pudding... ohhhh if I see another streak of bacon today I will blow a gasket.

Smileless I dare not upset Gusto with questions that need answering about certain things so I smiled sweetly at him and added a pretty before the please.... I didnt mention your bedroom escape, thought it best to avoid THAT along with the goats leg... so I thought a smile and a pretty please would be enough for this moment in time.....

You did the right thing Serendip. The bedroom incident is best forgotten.

He's very keen in the kitchen isn't he and not a bad cook. He made me a bacon sandwich earlier, and cut it into triangles which I thought was rather sweet.

I wonder if the Frank Carson look alike was one of the blokes with the binoculars. It's difficult to see some one when they have a pair in front of their face.

What's is the huge cooking pot? We polished off all the goulash last night. I mean it was very good but do we want the same thing tonight?

I'll lurk and see if I can get close enough for a sneak peek or maybe the aroma will give us a clue. I suppose I could just ask him, what do you think?

Oh I say, those diamond encrusted velvet shoes are fabulous. Are we going to try the Austrian slap dance again now everyone knows that faces are not included or should wet think of something else.

How about pole dancing!!!!

we not wet.

Well, now I think of it all ( the cooking pot contents ) do you think its best if we leave it to Gusto, his cooking is rather scrumptious and we dont want to upset him to the point if he throws his ladel down and disappears ..... heck.

Yes indeed, how can we identify the man with the binoculars if they and a hand are covering their face !!!! But I am sooooo quizzical as to what Frank Carson ( lookalike ) was lurking about the kitchen ???? Odd!

Well,the Austrian Slap Dance didnt go down tooooo well, i think what was putting a lot of people off was the amount of GN who stormed off home with faces as red as beetroot as they rubbed their bottoms, so your idea of the pole dancing is FANNNNNNNTASTIC.... 7pm sharpe... the off license has very kindly donated MORE cases of vino ( Very kind man despite having a bad tick in his eye ) so POLE DANCING it is with Gusto's surprise supper and endless supply of vino ? ? ? ? ? ? ? .....

7pm sharpe.....

Errrr do you think my diamond encrusted velvet shoes are fit for purpose wrapped around a pole ????? ?

Anyway, SEE EVERYONE AT 7PM

It would be even worse if Gusto flounced and took his ladle with him. How would we serve? How would we ever get to the bottom of the cooking pot. You're right, better leave things be unless you could get close enough to peer into the pot with the assistance of your magnifying glass.

That's very kind of him, I think we'll need a or to pluck up the courage to give the pole a go.

Maybe we should keep the nature of tonight's dance on a need to know basis. Ladies of a certain age pole dancing just may encourage the blokes with the binoculars back again.

Oh no, don't wrap your beautiful shoes around a pole, you'll ruin them and you've already spoiled one pair this week as it is.

Youre quite right Smileless regarding my diamond encrusted velvet shoes they shall remain in the very expensive looking shoe box that they arrived in.

Ahhhhhh yes, blimey what would we do if Gusto took off with the ladel ?!?!?!?! Blimey yes, the contents would lay at the bottom of the pan and that would result in short measures..
Eeeeek.

My giddy aunts we dont want the men with the binoculars back, heck the sight of legs wrapped around the pole and everything in full view NO NO NO..... how about if I hide the pole behind the rhododendron bush ??? Excellent coverage !!!

Hey you dont think the man from the off licence is owt to do with these binocular sightings do you ???????

Could be I mean his twitch would have been hidden by the binoculars wouldn't it.

Saw you fishing out your magnifying glass out of the cooking pot. Trust you to get too close. Hope the magnifying glass hasn't been damaged, the contents were bubbling away.

So, any clues as to what Gusto's cooking?

Good idea to hide the pole. Do you think the rhododendron bush is tall enough to do the job? It should be I suppose because we've gone for a short one to avoid any injuries to our fellow GN's. I'm not good with heights so sorter is definitely better for me.

What to wear, what to wear. Well obviously the belly dancing outfit is out, don't want my naked midriff rubbing up against the pole as the weather's not as warm as it was and it might be a bit chilly. Also, the coin belt could get me into all sorts of bother.

Well I'll just have to go for last nights Morris dancers regalia. I'll dump the shoes of course because they're too bulky and just go around in socks.

What about you? What if anything will you be wearing on your feet? I suppose last night's dungarees would do the job.

Well if truth be known yes I was investigating the contents of the rather large cooking pot, i got THAT close with my magnifying glass that it steamed up and the plastic holding it allllllll together MELTED !!!!!!! what the heck has he put in there?????? Before the magnifying glass melted I did manage to spot fish bones !!!! Infact I cant swear by it but i am certain I saw a fish head complete with eye balls floating around !!!!!! Then I thought SURELY NOT !!!!!!!!!!!

Regarding the rhododendron bush hiding the pole you are quite correct so I have put it inside the Arabian gazibo right in the centre and Ive placed an inflatable paddle pool filled with soft balls so anyone not quite managing an expert finish in exiting the pole, will have sonething nice and soft to land on ANNNNNND if the peeping Tom emerges over the fence we can allllll AIM AND FIRE the balls at him.

Hmmmmmm what to wear indeed.... hmmmmmm heck its difficult, I have a shimmer sparkling affair with slashes up each side to allow my legs to do their thing around the pole....legs-a-kimbo i will leave my diamond encrusted footwear in a safe place and wear some 6" heels that I wore when I was 15 years old ... i have kept them to bring forth magical memories and also frightening 1s too considering I fell whilst wearing them and ended up in plaster for 6 months ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ohhhhh heck

A quick peep through the sparkly curtains (which hide the rather smeary windows!) of the All Day Brekkie Café has revealed two sleeping chaps of dubious origin (the Department of Health or Tax officials); the lamps need attention, the tables need attention and what on earth is going on in the middle distance? Surely that's not Gusto rummaging about in the cooking pot? Why is he not out in the fresh air running off an excess of macho-ness and practising his dance steps?

Well......the cooking pot (sorry to disappoint ladies) contains two rather grey string vests, a few napkins, and what looks like Morris Dancers' socks. There's nothing there that's going to bring in new customers. What can you be thinking of, letting him loose in your new establishment? There's another tray of something-or-others in the oven so we need to hope that he's remembered his Sister is paying a visit shortly. He'll cook something 'piccante' and hopefully the whole goat-thing will be forgotten.

I'm sitting here with eardrums bombarded by clap after clap of thunder and a blackening sky. It's still hot. I've spent far too long at the Dentist this afternoon and now have a banging headache to match the approaching storm. Not so much raindrops falling on my head but the sound of wardrobes dropping onto the roof! A neighbour has just 'phoned to see if we are alright, do we have lights, food? They are sitting looking hopeful in an electric free restaurant in the village. No food for them, I should think. This is where the All Day Café could clean up! I woke to the same noise of storms this morning at 5.30, so we must hope it will clear and the sunshine (less of it, please) will return and we'll enjoy tomorrow evening with an apéro and music in a friend's shady garden. The Dentist's assistant - who took my X-rays - asked me if I came from the South of England - "Jane Austen's England". I put her right on the geography and she said read and also watched all productions like that, in English, and was particularly fond of Downton. So 'snob', she said. That made me laugh and it's wonderful to see how people whose first language is not English can so easily pick up different accents.

I can do it now. When I hear French from the North being spoken it's so easy compared with the somewhat impenetrable words of the South. How much for the bread? Or, Combieng pour le Peng, always made me laugh. Surely they couldn't mean to speak French like that. Oh yes they could!

So, sort the 'Peng' in the All Day Café, please. Brush the crumbs off the tablecloths, look lively and aim to make enough cash to buy Gusto and his strange foodstuffs a ticket back - from whence he came. I think fresh (and fragrant) staff should be interviewed without delay.

Off to roll down the shutters - the lightning is ridiculous now. Have a good evening and if you haven't tried a bite at *Serendip"'s please do....you never know, the laid back atmosphere, the constant surprises and slightly unorthodox menu might just grow on you. Bon appétit !

Ohhhh what a remarkable review Grandmafrench you are quite right in saying Gusto needs to be shown his cards ASAP if he is boiling his grey STRING VESTS !!! what on earth ! No wonder 1 of the GN walked in, turned right round in record time and walked back out! I couldn't understand it, my nostrils must have been accustomed to the wretched stink !!!!! Poor GN almost ended up under the No32 bus in her haste get get away from All Day Breakfast cafe we cant carry on like this Smileless we are losing customers. Gusto sister visiting ?? Well this is news to me, heck we better make her welcome, what do you suggest Smileless ?

I have just put an ad in the local shop window for staff and when the interviews take place I will scrutinise for an all round sense of cleanliness..... the ALL DAY BREAKFAST CAFE will be the talk of the town .... I just hope I have enough energy left for dance lessons and playing the perfect host !!!! I don't want to bring the dance classes to disrepute!!!!!

So Gusto's been using our facilities and fuel to do his washing . Wonder who the string vests belong too. Can't possibly be his I mean with that toned torso and those impressive pecks, I wouldn't have thought he'd be a string vest wearer.

So that's where my socks got too. Honestly gov, I've no idea how they ended up with Gusto's laundry.

I've brushed the crumbs off the tablecloths, disposed of the contents of the cooking pot, reclaimed my socks and as luck would have it, as I was chasing off Gusto by threatening him with his ladle, I bumped (literally) into his second cousin twice removed, Giani.

A handsome Italian no less, so ladies on the menu tonight is Spaghetti ala Giani. Sorry that's all I know as it's going to be a surprise, but if he cooks as well as he looks we're in for a real treat.

So you wont be joining us Grandmafrench. What a shame, I was looking forward to seeing your prowess on the pole. With those fabulous hip movements of yours I was sure we were in for a treat.

Hope you soon recover from your visit to the dentist. I know the bacon you had the other morning was a little on the crisp side, so I hope that didn't cause any dental problems.

I'm sure Serendip's that your "legs-a-kimbo" will have us all spellbound. Great idea about the inflatable pool complete with soft balls to break our fall if we should be parted from the pole sooner than expected.

Oh and multi use too. Lobbing them at any peeping toms is a brilliant idea. Had a good 'ol rummage and managed to find a pair of 6" heels too so as I can't wear my Morris dancer socks (they've shrunk in the wash and are a horrible grey colour), I shall wear the heels complete with stockings and suspenders.

STOCKINGS, SUSPENDERS, 6" HEELS????? flippin hummers what with you, me and a few other GN i can see EVERY MAN IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD out with spy glasses..... but we have our ammunition at the ready.... bring it on....

Giani !!!! Gusto's cousin twice removed!!! Well, well, well this is alllll getting very interesting and I feel that Giani's presence will entice quite a few other GN to the dance classes. Can you be left in charge Smileless to find out if this Giani by any chance can move his torso in the name of DANCING ????

I must go now, I hear raucous laughter from the dance class area, I am hoping to goodness that Gusto hasnt saunted up the pole ????? Ohhhhhh i must make haste and just hope to goodness my 6" heels manage to deliver me to my intended destinations and DONT snap in the process !!!!

Toodle-pip

Ooh Gianai your spaghetti sauce is delicious. I love the way it coats the spaghetti making it slide so gently into my mouth. Rich and warm and hot just like you sigh…..pour me another ? you handsome man. ??

Doodle

Ooh Gianai your spaghetti sauce is delicious. I love the way it coats the spaghetti making it slide so gently into my mouth. Rich and warm and hot just like you sigh…..pour me another ? you handsome man. ??

Blimey Doodle now steady on, at this rate the evening dance lessons will be a hit.... yes, Gianai's spaghetti sauce was rather delicious I have to say.

Can I ask if you managed to wrap your legs round the pole in the Arabian gazibo? or is that an absolutely ridiculously question?????

Ohhhh and by the way, I dont suppose you managed to sway your eyes from Gianai for a moment to see if there were any peeping Toms over the garden fence??? I was far too busy with my legs-a-kimbo round the pole, in fact my left 6" heel stabbed me in the eye as I flung my legs upwards so I was otherwise engaged..... thought Id have to make a mad dash to casualty but Smileless managed to grab the nearest thing to hand so I could hold it up to my eye, i have to say that with my right eye, Im SURE it was a grey string vest!!!! No idea where THAT emerged from !

Yes no problem with the pole in the Gazebo. Due to my many years in the Argy I spent many a happy hour sliding down the poles in the local fire station. We were all very familiar with the firemen………and the police…….anyone in a uniform basically.
Yes I did catch sight of one peeping Tom but not to worry I sent big Bertha the Belly dancing Queen over to sort him out……..I think she’s still sitting on him as I can hear him squeaking.

Doodle

Yes no problem with the pole in the Gazebo. Due to my many years in the Argy I spent many a happy hour sliding down the poles in the local fire station. We were all very familiar with the firemen………and the police…….anyone in a uniform basically.
Yes I did catch sight of one peeping Tom but not to worry I sent big Bertha the Belly dancing Queen over to sort him out……..I think she’s still sitting on him as I can hear him squeaking.

Ohhhhh Doodle you spotted the sly beggar peeping Tom, you're our hero, or should I say Big Bertha the Belly Dancing Queen is our hero.... i hope she did damage to the dirty beggar, i wonder who he is!

Ahhhhhh you're had practise with a pole, thats good to know, you could maybe run our Friday classes ? I am sure, we will draw an interest with Gianai at the helm....

Ah so that explains why Giani was all hot under the collar Doodle. Not only have you been complementing his culinary skills, but you've also impressed him with your own skills on the pole.

He is rather handsome isn't he and seems really taken with you. Grabbed two bottles of and then beat a hasty retreat calling your name.

Managed to find your other magnifying glass Serendip. Good job as binoculars need two eyes and you only had one in reasonable working order.

Well done to you GN's who dashed into the kitchen and got the ice. It would have been a lot easier to administer aid to your injured eye if you hadn't been hanging upside down Serendip.

I really do think you should take those shoes off now and pop your slippers on before you do anymore damage.

I'm just going to take a second helping of Giani's spaghetti over to Big Bertha the Belly Dancing Queen as she's not moved from her post and still sitting him on. Well done Bertha.

Another exciting evening at the 'All day breakfast'. If we go on at this rate we'll have to rename it 'The 24/7'.

All kinds of crazy going on here ??

Must be something in the water at the All Day Breakfast

I know its early, but i have been up alllll night tending to this spiked eye, the amount of water Ive dabbed on it would water my garden for the next 6 months !!!!!

Anyway, while I'm stood dabbing away, i saw a figure lurking around the area of the Arabian gazibo, it wasnt quite light enough to make out who it was must admit here there were similar to Brian who owns the off-licence! Whoever it was was up to no good, they were pouring all the dregs of the many wine glasses BACK into the bottles and re-corking them !!!! Surely not !!!

Anyway, as Im still dabbing and this was 4am, I heard a faint "HELP" over the back fence, do you think Big Bertha the Belly Dance Queen was STILL sat on the peeping Tom???? Blimey ! She's doing s commendable job it has to be said.

Yes Smileless I have followed your advice and put the 6" heels in a charity shop bag and left on doorstep, i do believe there is a collection on Monday.

I am not opening the All Day Breakfast until at least 10, considering I now resemble 1 of the cast from Pirates of the Caribbean with my patch on, all I need is a parrot on my shoulder! So the ADB will open its doors later, it was my intention to ask Gianai but he was no where to be found !!!

Aldom

Must be something in the water at the All Day Breakfast

Or something in the wine hahahaha..... Aldom cone and join us, opens at 10 this morning and then later tonight, dance lessons, at this moment in time Im not too sure what type of dance it will be !!!!