All day breakfast ?

Sorry Doodle had no idea anyone would have thought it would entail real beetles. I don't suppose by any chance you trained them to get back into the cars did you?

Would make it a lot easier to catch them.

With all these beetles running about the tent why don't you scoop them up, fry them with a bit of bacon and black pudding for Sunday breakfast.
I very dare you.

Ohhhhhh my life no no NOOOOO.... we must get rid of the damn things... Doodle you brought umpteen to the eating establishment!!!!! You spend your afternoon in the undergrowth!!!! Ohhhh this is way too much. I was looking forward to a lovely peaceful evening, no poles to wrap my legs around, no slaps across the face OR bottom , no hips almost dislocated and vigorously rubbing deep heat onto painful joints... ohhhh i was soooo looking forward, then i had an emergency phone call to say the butcher that is supplying tomorrow's bacon,sausage and black pudding has managed to slice his thumb and fore finger clean off, blood all over the place, yours truly had to hop-foot it to the back of the butchers shop with the FIRST AID box that we had handy for tonight, then on my return I open the All Day Breakfast cafe door and I am met with a a floor full of beetles.... ohhhhh heavens above !!!!

What an absolute carry-on ive had with the ** beetles... honestly Ive come to the end of my patience. How many of the darn things did you bring Doodle? I have been up allllll night chasing round after them, the buggers managed to get in cracks that I didnt even know existed. 2 of em shot across the floor, I raised my rolling pin and brought it down with such an almighty smash that the only thing it squashed was my big toe, the beetles scurried along in their own sweet way while words cane out of my mouth that I didnt even know I KNEW ?!?!?!?!?!

I managed to HOP to the phone, called 999 and was hauled off the casualty AGAIN.

Smileless we must keep schtum about this damn carry-on , we dont want the elf & safety coming round so we must stay alert....

Now for tonights entertainment, what do you think to a harmless game of SNAP ????? what do you think ?

Would that be a game of snap where you match BEETLES???? Drrr!

I will get a tattoo before I bare my belly. Can I have the wine ? first.

If we do Aldom I very dare you to eat them .

SNAP sounds good S but I do think we need to make it abundantly clear that we're playing SNAP and not slap. Well I've been all over the cafe with a fine tooth comb and am as sure as I can be that the last of the beetles have been caught so will go and release them far, far away.

Order has been restored, well for the time being anyway, and I agree that we need to keep schtum about this temporary outbreak. The last thing we need is for our competitors to get wind of this. Rumour has it that our rapid rise in popularity is creating , so we do need to be careful.

I'm bringing round a pair of workman's boots for you S as I'm getting rather concerned about the condition of your feet. I've dressed them up with some glitter paint and replaced the laces with bright ribbons to make them look more attractive, as I know how particular you are about your foot wear.

Course you can Fran we've always plenty of on the go. Any idea what you'd like your tattoo to be?

I think Giani's Penne went down rather well so any ideas for tonight's nosh will be gratefully received.

Ohhhhh first and foremost I must say a huge massive THANK YOU SMILELESS for your extremely thoughtful gift of hognail boots... yes my poor feet were once my pride and joy but now! Whoaaaaa they look like raw meat bashed with the butchers mallet !!!! Shocking...
So I appreciate your gift very much, thank you.

Ohhhhhh the blasted beetles have vanished!!!!! Ohhhhhh my giddy aunts, that is music to my ears ? ? HEY JUDE ? ? you are absolutely spot on with needing to step up pace with the competition... allllll gobs need to be well and truly SHUT.... can we trust everyone to keep their traps shut ??????? What about Gusto??? Do you think he can be trusted?????

Yes .... ohhhhh my life we must shout from the rooftops that its SNAP and not SLAP.... the last thing we need is the GN with green hair coming over and slapping the GN with knobly knees again, the GN with the knobly knees turned round and gave the green haired GN a RIGHT whollop, whoaaaaaa it was a right crack... so last thing we want is retaliation is the name of an innocent game of SNAP..... Ohhhh pleeeease...

So pleased you like the boots and even happier that they fit S.

I'm sure Gusto and Giani can be trusted. They seem to have become rather attached to the All Day Breakfast cafe and have been telling friends and rellies about what great food and entertainment is on offer. In the absence of any suggestions, Giani is going to indulge us with his meat balls.

Well I thought I recognised the GN with green hair earlier but now her hair is orange.

Could this be a disguise? I think the GN with knobbly knees is back too. She looked at the GN with orange hair for a looooong time so I think the orange hair disguise may have worked.

The GN I think is the one with the knobbly knees is wearing a pair of very baggy trousers. Could this be to disguise her knobbly knees?

Time will tell but I really do think we should keep an eye on her, just in case she sees our innocent game of snap as an excuse to slap the GN with green orange hair.

Is it just me, or are things getting a little too complicated around here. Must dash, Giani's just called me into the kitchen to appraise his meat balls!!!

I’m so sorry about the Beetles. I didn’t know they weren’t needed. Now they’ve all gone and order is restored a quiet game of Snap was suggested. I didn’t want to let you down again so I’ve been very careful to get the right thing this time. So I have prepared for snap with the very best lobsters ? I could find in the market. Now how do we play a game with them ? ?

What!!! Lobsters!!! What a brilliant idea Doodle. No idea how we play the game with them but we can make up the rules as we go along, I mean it appears to be what we've been doing all week with varying degrees of failure success.

So, Doodle as you had the idea, it's over to you.

Ohhhhhh my life !!!!!! This is all just turning cock-a-hoop!!!!! Nooooo noooo we cant possibly play a lovely, inncocent game of snap with lobsters!!!!!! CAN WE ? Ohhhh heck, Ive broken out in a sweat and NO it isnt to be blamed on the menopause, ohhhhh I can see the lobsters in that huge brass cooking pot that is hung up in the corner!!!!!

Im allllll a dither.... i cant cope and these new boots are rubbing like billio.....

Smileless please help me out here..... Doodle how on earth are we going to play the wonderful family favourite of snap with LOBSTERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Yes I loved the boots until the mention of LOBSTERS was aired and then I broke out into a sweat and the boots are rubbing like bilio. but I DO STILL THANK YOU.

The GN with green hair is now ORANGE ?!?!?!?!?!?!

.....and the GN with the knobbly knees is wearing a disguise in the name of 'baggy trousers' hmmmmm..... we need to keep a VERY watchful eye on those 2.... what with the beetles, NOW DOODLE'S LOBSTERS ? we can well do without a fight breaking out ..... ALL HANDS ON THE DECK....we must prevent the respectable name of ALL DAY BREAKFAST CAFE being a thing of the past, glory be, we have worked damn hard to achieve what we have achieved ( with the help of Gusto and Gianai of course)

Ohhhhh talking of Gianai..... you seem to be assisting with his culinary delights an awful lot SMILELESS now is there an ulterior motive or are you just showing him the act of human kindness ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I didn't want to upset Doodle by saying we couldn't use the lobsters, I mean she was so upset about the beetles.

Hang on ...... did you say the lobsters were in the huge brass cooking pot?

Oh dear. It seems that as Giani's meat balls were under control him and Gusto are in the process of making Lobster Bisque. Well that solves the lobster issue but whose going to tell Doodle?

Just the milk of human kindness S, honestly.

Ohhhhh and I dont want to upset Doodle either, she has been so very kind.... shall we just let this 1 pass and see how it pans out ( ooooooo excuse the pun ) WHOAAAAAA HANG ON A MINUTE ..... YOU SAY THE LOBSTERS ARE IN THE COOKING POT?!?!?!?!?!?! OHHHHHHHHH FLIPPIN HECK.... Doodle is going to be furious.. ohhhh heck I can feel another hot sweat coming on.... have you a spare fan? Or better still Fanny's MAGICOOL.... i cant cope with all this lark.

Ahhhhhhhhh you can your assistance to Gianai is purely milk of human kindness!!!!! Hmmmmm.

Im far too hot and bothered with all this palava with Doodle LOBSTERS ?, the green hair now orange hair GN and the knobbly knee GN in disguise to give you act of human kindness anymore thought! BUT I SHALL KEEP A WATCHFULL EYE ON ANY SHINDIGS IN THE KITCHEN ? ?

What’s that delicious aroma coming from the kitchen. Oooh Giani this soup is delicious. What’s it called again Bisque…hmm it’s really lovely. By the way, anyone seen my lobsters? Are we playing snap or what?

( gulp ... gulp ) ohhhh heck..... Doodle is asking where her lobsters ? are .... i cant look her in the face and lie.... SO I shall leave it up to you Smileless yes, yes, yes Im a coward, but I'm going to sneak and scurry in the garden ..... the reason being I heard a faint noise earlier while I was out pegging my smalls to the line..... my hearing isnt as it was and so the FAINT voice I heard may have been a loud screaming hullabaloo..
I need to investigate, I shall take my trusty magnifying glass to seek out evidence...

Let me know how you get on Smileless ..... ohhhh poor Doodle I do feel wretched....... I so do.

Ohhhhh bliss, i soaked my feet all night, in fact it literally was ALL NIGHT.... i positioned the bowl at the side of my bed and drifted soundly to sleep whilst feet danglesnin the bowl... 1 rather disappointing thing is they now resemble prunes but ohhhhhh they are now feet and not slabs of meat bashed by the butchers mallet.

Right Smileless how did you get on lastnight explaining to Doodle about her lobsters ???? Dare I ask?

I opened up the All Day Breakfast cafe this morning and just as I turned the key, Gianai breathlessly bounded up the path and staggered through the door!!!! He looked as if about to collapse! I noticed scratches on his back as he changed into his uniform .!?!?!?! Dont know what THAT is all about! DO YOU SMILELESS?

Right im going because the doors opened an a strange woman just walked in with a limp!

Well it was difficult, of course made even harder because she'd eaten some of the soup. I just wish someone had given me the nod so I could have said something before the soup was served.

There were a few tears but the second serving of soup seemed to help and I've just been round with a goldfish, already set up in it's own bowl, complete weed, coloured gravel and a little mermaid sitting on a bridge.

TBH I thought the pet shop owner had gone overboard, I only wanted the fish and something for it to be kept in, but Doodle did seem pleased and has decided to call it, you're not going to to believe this; Giani!!!

Now I know he was comforting her when she found out he'd cooked her lobsters, she was getting a lot more croutons than anyone else which did cause some jealousy among some of the GN's.

That's all I know. Honest gov it's got nothing to do with me. I wouldn't risk my beautiful manicured nails.

Well she's an early bird. Just a minute, scratches on Giani's back and a strange woman with a limp waiting for you to open up.

Are you sure she wasn't there last night?

Thank you Smileless for my lovely goldfish. It’s so sweet in its little bowl. It’s quite made me forget about the lobsters.
Now as for a game we could play I’ve been giving it some thought and there’s a game called Dominoes I thought we could try. If you’re all up for it I’ll bring the pizzas in later. ?

That's a good idea Doodle just hope we'll enough sets. DO you know the rules?

So pleased you like Giani the goldfish. I'll get S to tell Giani the chef and Gusto that they can have the night off tonight as you're bringing pizzas.

Gosh, I hope the wont be offended but Gusto hasn't had a day off since we opened so maybe he'll be pleased.

Hope your prunes feet are looking feeling better today S. Just a thought, maybe you should keep them covered, we don't want the sight of them putting customers off do we.

Any intell on the lady with the limp?

The goldfish has been named Gianai! hmmmm theres sonething fishy going on here ( sorry about the pun ).... and she was getting far more croutons than everyone else !!!! Hmmmmmmm, all this is leading me to assume Doodle and Gianai have secret rendezvous!!!!

Flippin heck! Its all suspicious....... so tonights game is dominoes and pizza will be supplied ...
Ooooooo I love dominoes and Im rather partial to pizza so I must put my watchful ? ? to 1 side tonight and leave the watchful ? to you Smileless... if I see Gianai hovering around the cafe tonight when there is no need to make his presence known, then that will send my alert antenna on full working order...hmmmmm.

Yes, i think its best if my feet are out of view tonight, i dont want to lose customers, so i have jumped on the No32 bus and hastily gone around the market, not only have I purchased a BEAUTIFUL pair of jewel encrusted silk slippers but the lovely market stall holder had JUST had a delivery of a gold embroidered shimmy wrap complete with shoulder bag.... he said a shocking pink feather boa would make the outfit complete, I declined the feather boa.... thought it a tad OTT.

REGARDING THE LADY WITH THE LIMP... ohhh what a carry-on..... I am ashamed to admit that after she ate her sausage bagal, I followed her, GET THIS...she limped her way around the side of the All Day Breakfast cafe, looked left and right over her shoulders and sneaked in the back door of the kitchen!!!!! WHAT THE! Then I saw her limp her way past the fridge and cooker and pretend to SLIP infront of Gianai just as he was plating up beans and mushrooms!!!! The beans went alllll over the place while HER WITH THE LIMP laid prostrate on the floor....
NOW WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ALLLLLLL ABOUT ?????

so you thought that the feather boa would be a bit OTT but not the gold embroidered shimmy wrap complete with shoulder bag, not to mention the jewel encrusted silk slippers.

I agree I mean you don't want to make the other GN's feel under dressed do you.

I think in all fairness we should share the watch. I happen to be rather partial to dominoes and pizza too. I don't want to sound churlish but what about MEEEEEE. I have spent the best part of the day gathering as many sets of dominoes as I could lay my hands on. Not to mention organising Doodle's goldfish AND hand delivering it, oh and I also had to soothe Giani and Gusto's egos when they discovered Doodle was bringing in pizzas for this evenings meal.

So what happened next? The beans went all over the place but what happened to the mushrooms? What did Giani do first? Did he help the lady with the limp or clear up the mess? Where was Gusto when this was going on? Why is there a chalk outline of a body with a strange looking leg on the kitchen floor?

Surely there wasn't a fatality?

Ahhhh yes, compared to the rest of my outfit the fushia pink feather boa wouldnt be OTT at all..... i should have bought it but then again.... YES my immaculate sparking outfit may have made other GN feel slightly under dressed, especially the GN who thinks crimpline is the rage !!!!

Anyway enough enough ENOUGH nastiness.... you are beyond right in your what about meee? comment... i was not considering you at all, yez, i will take my responsibilities with a smile and chin up... I shall do my bit..... i mean you are nothing but astounding to have smoothed away the ego's from the 2 cousins! Wow.... that would have been a task and half!!!!!!!

The chalk outline of a body !!!!;WELL.... I MUST HAVE A LARGE BRANDY AND THEN I WILL TELL YOU ALL.....

GLUG GLUG GLUG

Be right back ........