Making new friends!

I have moved a great deal both here and abroad and would always recommend the library as one of my first places to visit. They normally have the latest up to date contact address for many different kinds of associations and clubs. So you can look for the things that interest you there. If you swim, the local swimming pool is also a great place as you have an activity which allows you to get to know other swimmers over time and you may find people on your wavelength there.!

Good advice to all, I would like to meet new friends

I think you should make some new local friends. First join activities you enjoy. Keep and address book in your hand bag or contacts at the end of your diary. When someone expressses and iterest in something offer to help, or to send them information what ever is relevant. Over time people wil realise that you are approachable and helpful and then when you have a particualr connection you can suggest meeting up before the activity or after it etc.

Dempie55

I have moved to a new part of the country where I knew nobody. I joined various groups (e.g. book group, knit and natter, over 50s dance, Tai Chi, U3A.) After a year, I now have a variety of acquaintances, but I can't say I have made any new friends. I don't have anybody I could ring up and say, "Fancy meeting for lunch?" However, one thing I have become very aware of is the number of women over 65 who just love the sound of their own voices. On and on they ramble, telling you what they had for breakfast and lunch and what they are going to have for dinner and how they will cook it....... I don't care! Just stop talking about yourself!
So, in many ways, I don't miss having friends that much, I do enjoy my own company!

I do know what you mean here . They could do well to listen they might learn something new ! To put my two pennuth in I'd say having my dog has been great for me . Walking everyday I chat with the other dog owner and lots of other people who ask about my dog . So it helps with fitness as well as socialising . I also attend a friendly dance class and am trying to find a choir nearby . Hope you find what suits you though that's the main thing !

Yes Gabrielle - what do you mean?

Gabrielle56

Thou speaketh Greek? Don't know what these are? Do tell!

What do you mean?

Kwest - your friendship group sound fabulous! A friend of mine started one a few years ago to try and meet people. She posted a small ad in the local post office asking if any ladies would like to meet up. She got loads of responses and now has quite a circle of close friends. There are many people who feel quite alone and it takes just one action to make things happen

Thou speaketh Greek? Don't know what these are? Do tell!

As a few have also said, Meet up group is good. I have friends, but my meet up friends like doing things, my actual friends don’t always want to do much as we are all at different stages with grandchildren and husbands, retirement and working ect ect so meet up is great x

If you are on Facebook check out Silver Friends. This is groups of people in your area , and throughout the country who meet up . It might just be meeting for lunch or going to a museum or a host of different things to do. I have met some lovely people who have become friends. I would definitely recommend.

I would describe myself as an introvert too but I have got to know quite a few neighbours in the surrounding roads through walking our dog. I also made two good friends from different areas through walking our dogs together.

Perhaps you could try contacting those old friends and explain how you are feeling and they may show more kindness and friendship than you expect if you can make them understand the situation. I had a good friend who totally dropped me when she began grandchild caring duties. I was hurt and disappointed not to even receive an occasional phone call to catch up. However if she were to contact me now I would try to understand and resume friendship. Its easy to forget that to be a friend both sides have to put in some effort.

KG1241

My daughter is only 25 and has moved to a new area because of work, she’s really struggling to make new friends ?

My 24 year old son is the same.
He has made a start with MeetUp. It's been mentioned on here. It's a website where you can find local groups and join in. He found one for "20s social" they meet after work for drinks. Another " board games" group. There are music, walking etc. Many joiners are new to the city for work.
I've tried looking at meetup for me but there's nothing round here ( back of beyond).

WI for me too. We have interesting speakers, craft and chat, book club, some outside events, cream teas, ploughman’s lunches, rambles. I am running a Beetle Drive later this month.

I’ve never made jam and we sing Jerusalem once a year.

I could have made a new friend today but decided not to. I had my first walk since I hurt my leg and walked to watch some kayakers enjoying the nice day. I soon felt tired and sat on a bench to watch when a very pleasant man about my own age asked if I minded him sitting down too.
We got talking and spent time watching the kayaks. It was going well until he got onto his hobby horse of politics and came out with quite a few bigoted opinions so rather than argue I looked at my watch and made an excuse.
I don't usually talk to strangers but one of my friends talks to everybody and has made a few friends that way.

You need to find things to do with like-minded people. If you like reading, go down to your local library and join their book group. You make friends meet like-minded people and everyone gets to talk about the book.
Another idea is for you to volunteer at your local National Trust property. You learn alot, meet friends and gain a whole new social life. Don't hesitate, give these two things a go.
What are you waiting for.

Dempie55
This is my story too. What I do like about attending different groups is that you can often choose to sit with different people so you don't get the same story over and over. However, I am a good listener and quite a private person so I tend to ask questions. Problem is, it opens up the flood gates and one particular friend can spend 2 hours going on and on and on and on. I am so sad at the Queen passing at the moment that I just can't face spending time with her and listen to her commentary on everything. I feel as someone is my family has passed away and just want a little time to readjust. Never thought it would affect me so much.

There are online Zoom courses available, I am doing an Arvon writing course soon, via Zoom.

Thanks to all for the suggestions and to welbeck and Gilly33 in particular.
My DD told me she has "moved on" and doesn't need me now.
My SiL barely speaks to me now, though we used to be very close.
It has helped being able to post here and tell someone how sad I've been. I even forced myself out of the house this afternoon for a walk, wearing dark glasses so no-one could see my red eyes! Thank you all for your kindness, it really does mean so much.

I recently joined a crown green bowling group because now covid is more relaxed my friend is constantly on holiday.
It's friendly, non strenuous and fun. Worth thinking about

I'm 71 and in the WI. It's the best thing I ever did after retiring. We had about 35 members before the pandemic but now we are up to 60. We are a very active WI Leeds group and have subgroups including knitting, craft, afternoon and evening book groups, walking and strolling groups, chat and discussion groups, luncheon and evening dining, gardening group, art group, Litter Picking, as well as visits to theatre, cinema, days out, etc. As Frogs said you don't need to be good at crafts, flower arranging, knitting and jam making. They are all friends and I know if needed they would come to my aid.

Check your area for the U3A (university of the third age), they have every kind of club imaginable - keep fit, art, languages, they also have talks and coffee mornings (In Harrogate we have all this anyway). There is an up front fee to join (minimal) then the club you join will have some fee (again minimal)
Good Luck in your quest!

I’m 75 and in the WI - we have a book club (you don’t have to read the books - just turn up at the pub for a chat if that’s all you’re interested in), they also have a Sunday club (as they realise this is a lonely day for many women living alone), there’s a walking group - we also do lots of interesting outings and events. I have to tell you now I’m useless at crafts, flower arranging, knitting and jam making. No one seems to mind at all.
I love to sing (although I’m not a good singer ). I’ve been in Rock choir for 11 years - they have choirs all round the UK and are very welcoming. But there are lots of other local choirs doing all types of music now.
I also line dance once a week which is great fun.
I think the best idea is to decide what you are interested in and see if there’s anything going on locally. Libraries often have local groups listed on a notice board.
I used to be in the U3A and enjoyed that too but had to drop out as I couldn’t fit everything in along with grannie duties but I’m aware that this will slacken off as the GC get older.
Maybe one of the above things might appeal to you - it is hard to make that first step but now is a good time to do just that as a lot of things will be starting back up after the summer break - local colleges etc.
I hope you can find something you like and friendship will hopefully follow from it.

KG1241

My daughter is only 25 and has moved to a new area because of work, she’s really struggling to make new friends ?

The website mentioned above called “Meet up” may benefit your daughter KG. Also a younger person on my local FB page posted that they’d recently moved into the area and were looking at ways to make new friends - they were inundated with local contact details of associations etc they could try.

In our village we started up a Friendship Group earlier this year. It was in response to many people becoming very lonely during 'lock-down'. We have a membership of approx. 30 and we usually get between 18-24 people attending. The County Council provided a grant. We meet every Thursday at the local pub and the landlady provides tea, coffee, sandwiches and cakes at cost, which the grant covers. We are considering having it twice a week this autumn/winter so that people can switch down their heating, meet other people and have lunch. Everyone is welcome and the people just have to live in the village. We have become like a village family and no one comes without being welcomed and someone chatting to them until they feel comfortable. Suddenly we all have a collection of new friends.