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AIBU

Just so upset

(5 Posts)
Narnia Thu 23-Apr-26 22:49:45

So our Daughter gets married on Saturday, very low key. Registrar then a meal for family and a few friends. It's what she wants, they have 2 children.
Its taken me a long time to find something that i feel ok wearing. I never wear dresses, makeup etc
I found a dress that i felt ok in, and everyone seemed to like it on me.
I acknowledge that I'm overweight and unfit, I've tried to address this in the past months but ended up injuring my knee making me so much worse.
We are midst of a lot of upheaval on the house and massively behind schedule. Originally i wanted to move, my Husband didn't.
I said tonight i really wish we had moved as things aren't going to plan and now both of our health isn't great (he's had an injury to his back)
He, i suppose retaliated saying we are only 60 and shouldn't be feeling we need a bungalow for health reasons.
He then said we need to get fitter (agreed) but then said I'm worse as i "REALLY" need to lose weight.
This may be the case, but I'm so upset.
He knows it's been a struggle for me to find something i feel semi ok in for the wedding. Now i just feel like I'm going to look like a fat horrible mess.
He's apologised and said it came out wrong, but I'm so hurt and dreading Saturday.

Scribbles Thu 23-Apr-26 23:01:53

Oh, Narnia, it sounds as though you snd your husband are both stressed out and, in those circumstances, it's easy for words to "come out wrong" in the heat of the moment. Believe me, I know! I have a mouth that runs away with me at times and I'm not proud of the times I've inadvertently hurt people I care about.
Your husband is likely feeling awful now. Please, accept his apology, give him a hug - but gently so you don't hurt his back.
Above all, don't let this incident spoil your daughter's special day or your joint pleasure in seeing her commiting to the partner she loves.
💐

Sarnia Thu 23-Apr-26 23:08:16

Your daughter's wedding sounds lovely. Not too formal and with family and close friends who will all know you and won't be judgemental about what you are wearing, especially as those who have seen your dress have said they like it.
Remarks about weight can be very wounding and it's difficult to 'unhear' what's been said. I have been overweight all my life so I know how you feel. Try to put it all to one side for Saturday and enjoy your daughter's special day. Everything else can wait.

crazyH Thu 23-Apr-26 23:14:34

It’s so demoralising, isn’t it? My husband (ex) has said many upsetting personal things, I was only 49. It destroyed my confidence, despite the fact I was considered quite pretty at that time.
As a result, I never remarried and never felt good about myself.
I am not saying you should divorce him. But make him understand how his remarks are upsetting you.
Enjoy your daughter’s wedding and stand tall !

rafichagran Thu 23-Apr-26 23:15:36

Enjoy the wedding sounds like he is stressed as well. I honestly don't think he meant it the way it sounded and he said as much.

Enjoy the wedding, stop worrying and watch your lovely daughter get married.