Memorable phrases

“Least said, soonest mended”. Don’t know who said it, but very wise words which I SOMETIMES remember to abide by! Also, “better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to say something and have it confirmed”. Paraphrasing on the latter one, but it’s something like that.

'Lord, what fools these mortals be'.

‘I’ve learnt so much from my mistakes, I think I’ll make another’

Advertising is legalised lying.
H G Wells.

Many already mentioned but I do love the epitaph on Spike Milligans tombstone, which was allowed and reads , "I told you I was ill "
Classic.

"Where exactly are the Virgin Islands?" a lady of rigid propriety, who was probably objecting to the word "virgin" being used in mixed company, as this exchange took place around 1901, demanded of her dinner companion.

He, a bishop, no less, renowned for his sense of humour, replied, "As far away as possible, dear lady, from the Isle of Man."

If you consult the atlas you will see how right he was.

‘Work is the curse of the drinking classes’ - Oscar Wilde.

My little Irish gran, to people she disliked: "If ye were a dog, I'd have ye put down!"

If he/she had another brain it’d be lonely. Everyone.

Although variations on the following anecdote exist with different people, the story is being told of Winston Churchill's encounter with Lady Astor who, after failing to shake him in an argument, broke off with the petulant remark, "Oh, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea." "Madame," Winston responded, "if I were your husband, I'd drink it with pleasure."[72] On another occasion, Lady Astor allegedly came upon Churchill, and he was highly intoxicated. She highly disapproved of alcohol, and she said to him "Winston, you're drunk!" To which he replied "And you are ugly. However, when I wake up tomorrow, I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly!"

'What fresh hell is this? - Dorothy Parker

Graham Norton - "being a chat show host means I've never seen a film I didn't like"

My friend's lovely nan: I'm 84 and I shall have sex with whoever I want. (after a raised eyebrow or two).

Totally agree with many of the above, particularly Groucho Marx.

"Grief is the price we pay for love," Queen Elizabeth II said in support of those who lost loved ones in the terrorist attacks of 9/11.

Today is the 21st anniversary.

Elton John : "I'm fifty-five, I'll do what I want! " (Yes, I know it was twenty years ago! But he was so right!)

You cannot discover new oceans without the courage to lose sight of the shore - Andre Gide

Luck is a lifetime of preparation waiting for a moment of opportunity - Matt Baker

We'll get to the end of the day and things will get better; tomorrow will be a good day - Captain Sir Tom Moore

There are no pockets in a shroud.

Never say anything that cannot stand as the last thing you said.

Survivor of Auschwitz.

The smallest good deed is better than the best good intention!

None of us get out of this alive ?

That’s Conran sorry

Shirley Conrad. “ life’s too short to stuff a mushroom “

Bette Davis ‘Growing old isn’t for wimps’.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars’
Oscar Wilde

I'm quite fond of the Groucho Marx sentence:
I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.