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Struggling with friendships.

(81 Posts)
Esspee Thu 15-Sep-22 14:22:08

I knew that lockdown would make me stir crazy so chose to do a free genealogy course with FutureLearn and started on my family tree. I became addicted and the winter passed in a flash. I am looking for a choir to join for this winter and a country dance class for OH and me in the evenings.
I hope you find something which works for you.

MissAdventure Thu 15-Sep-22 14:12:15

Have you tried the meetup app?
Their are people who meet up for social nights, pub meals, board games, philosophy - in short; everything.

Yammy Thu 15-Sep-22 14:08:34

How about seeing if there is a local book group that meets in the evenings ,there are more likely to be people there who are at work during the day. Then you could suggest a meeting for coffee when you get friendly.
It is difficult I found this when we moved on early retirement the retired people in our village had long been retired and the few I found have left because of your reason. Try the local town library there might be a local history group or some voluntary work that needs help. There used to be something called "the House wifes Register", that had different groups within it but I don't know if it still exists.
Or do it the way it was done when my Dd's were small, someone put a note through my door asking who would like to form a morning coffee group where turns would be taken in each other's houses it was called the "cabbage" club. My DD found a local cafe that ran a coffee morning for women on maternity leave and she made lots of friends her age. Hope this helps it is a peculiar feeling being isolated and surrounded by people who need help rather than friendship.

Razzamatazz Thu 15-Sep-22 13:54:35

I was going to say volunteering, but see you are already doing that.

Can you find any 'solo' absorbing winter hobbies? Make yourself a rag rug, knit rugs for Battersea, do a 'diamond' picture, get all your photos uploaded onto a usb pen? Think of things that you could do alone, that would give you pleasure?

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 15-Sep-22 13:41:00

Perhaps a big part of the problem is that the people you would prefer to befriend are still working full time and don’t have time for involvement in the activities you mention, so those you meet are mainly older and retired? I’m not sure there’s a solution to that, other than being in paid work yourself and socialising with colleagues.

Msdaisy Thu 15-Sep-22 13:35:02

I’m desperate for some advice please… I’m 61 married to dh who works from home. I’m semi retired do a lot of volunteering in different areas. I’ve struggled to make friends with similar mindset to me. I seem to attract older friends who just take advantage such as expecting me to pay for lunches, pick up and drop off take to medical appts etc. I know I’m in my 60’s but I’m young in mind and body I go to gym, run cycle etc but any groups Ive tried such as walking, crafts, are generally old ‘older’ people if you get my drift. I recognise I’m withdrawing more and with winter coming I’m not sure how I’ll get through it. My dh is understanding but he has a busy job and has limited time for leisure and I need female friends really. I’d welcome any similar experiences and support thank you