Talking about Grief..

I once had a client with a learning disability who was told that his mother had passed. He did not understand what it meant and distressed the family with his questions as to where she had passed to and when she'd be back. Sometimes clarity is the key!

Thank you Jane

And agree- perfectly acceptable to say- passed

I’d loved to be off tomorrow but National Guidelines say we have to start Covid/Flu Vaccine for our Staff at my Hospital. So I’ll be vaccinating watching on a Computer!

It's not an Americanism nor a euphemism, it's a perfectly acceptable and correct grammatical term for passing from one state - Life - to another -Death and it's been in use, in English, since the 1400s.

In any case, if it gives comfort to those of us who are heartbroken and bereaved why does it matter?

maddyone

JaneJudge
People are allowed to say they don’t like something without being told it’s criticising. It’s not, it’s stating an opinion and that is perfectly acceptable.

that is fair enough x

JaneJudge
People are allowed to say they don’t like something without being told it’s criticising. It’s not, it’s stating an opinion and that is perfectly acceptable.

MrsKen33

*Lucca*. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

Exactly.

Lucca
I’m not worked up over the word passed at all, I just don’t like it. That’s very different from being worked up. I don’t like the word passed because it’s a euphemism for died. I’m not afraid to say died because that is exactly what has happened. People can’t pass anything except in the hearse, they die. I didn’t realise it was an Americanism, I’ve just noticed it being used with increasing frequency lately.
I also understand that Bea and others say passed because they believe that the soul has left the body and gone to heaven. But most don’t, they just say it because it’s the latest euphemism for died.

Lucca. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

Live and let live may not be quite an appropriate phrase on this thread but……you catch my drift.

Whatever terminology one decides to use when describing the death of someone should not be under scrutiny. If someone is more comfortable using the term passed rather than died that is their personal choice and should be respected I would think. Grief is a heartbreaking experience for all without nit picking at one’s choice of expression.

I always thought the Salvation Army 'promoted to glory' sounded wonderful. If you're going to use a euphemism then really go for it.

I think people need to discuss death and I don't think language should be criticised when it is accessible to those who want or need to talk about it.

I unfortunately had very early loss in my life and people just did not talk about it and it has affected me until the present day. I think the death of someone close to you can cause such isolation that really isn;t necessary, so whatever language is used isn't the most important part of communication, if you know what I mean. You may not and if you don't, that's fine too

MrsKen33

Maddy another Americanism taking hold ,sadly. I am going to die, not pass to wherever. I hate that expression ‘passed’.

I can’t believe how worked up people get over “passed”. Obviously because it’s American…shock horror.

I’m sure there was always the expression “passed away” even in Britain

I’m feeling rather battered by current events. The day of the Queen’s death was the 21st anniversary of my Mother’s death, my father in law died a couple of months ago, a close colleague and friend died on his way home from work on the day of my FIL’s funeral and then my sons godmother took her own life a few weeks ago. I’m feeling tearful at odd moments and seem to be lacking my usual resilience. I will be watching the funeral tomorrow and I expect to shed a few tears again.

My mother, when she was alive, used to talk about, 'When I become an estate'!

The GC are intrigued about when I will die - lots of talk along the lines of ... when I am x years old will you be dead?!

Maddy another Americanism taking hold ,sadly. I am going to die, not pass to wherever. I hate that expression ‘passed’.

Good idea to stay at home Bea as in the comfort of your own home, you can cry or smile as the mood takes you. I will be at home too and I doubt my husband will join me to watch, he’ll be out in the garden doing a bit of gardening, so I’ll be alone in watching the funeral. I’ll be able to cry if I feel like it, no observers. Unless my son and my grandson pop down for a cup of tea, which I won’t mind if they do. My daughter and family are in New Zealand and my other son and his wife are on holiday after his Nana’s funeral, so it won’t be busy here either.

Thank you B9exchange ..believe will stay at home, as feeling emotionally and physically exhausted or, "overwrought" a saying my late Mom would utter

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thank you so much for condolences and kind thoughts Lathyrus, dragonfly, Monica, and Bea. I understand what you’re saying Bea but for me, died describes exactly what has happened.

Bea65 I hope you find someone to be with you for the funeral, but if not your local church will probably have live screens up for people to watch together, I know ours will be.

Pass an exam, pass a driving test, pass the salt... I don't use 'pass' intransitively. What is wrong with the word'die'? My parents wouldn't talk about death. I had to ask my uncle if my grandpa had died. When granny died, I deduced this fact from my father's searching for his black tie.
'Passed' is mealy-mouthed and pussy-footing around the natural event of death.

I use passed as I do believe in an afterlife as was taught we’re on the next journey Maddyone am sorry for your recent bereavement ?