Talking about Grief..

Or simply departing life.

I noted that during the service at St George’s today they used the term ‘departed’ rather than died. I guess that intimates departing on a journey to God?

Bea65 Death is heavy on the heart, but my heart would pefer to bear the full weight and not diminish it.

biglouis have just read your comment about the drawing of curtains when someone died...as a family we did this upstairs and down..never thought how this custom came about and when it 'died' out...

My grandmother always used to say "passed away" or "passed on". She also used the expression "buried" as in "I buried my husband last week."

Yes saying Died feels more heavy on the heart and having experienced early loss -my father @54 and my younger brother also @54..we say passed or taken too soon..no-one ever discussed my father or even mentioned him passing..i was just 16...have always felt very isolated and not wishing to upset anyone, never had a conversation about it..my mother was very stoic almost cold and took me a long time as an adult to realise she was keeping her emotions intact for my young brother and I -even in her last days, she told me death is a part of life and she couldn't wait to walk in God's garden..
Thank you for all your comments-my sincere condolences to you all especially to you if you've lost someone recently know its a painful time and the heart is heavy

I prefer to say died, but can understand that anything which helps people to soften grief, then so be it. It's harmless.

The issue has to be a matter of belief in an after life. If you believe in one, then using ‘passed’ is fine because it’s really short for ‘passed on’ and that has to be …… to somewhere. If you don’t, then it’s meaningless. The word ‘died’ rarely appears in local newspaper death announcements now. We’ll be going back to avoiding the word ‘pregnant’ next (expecting the pitter patter of tiny footsteps etc).
As someone interested in language and how it evolves, I rather enjoy euphemisms. But not this one!
My late mother, an atheist, always (for a laugh) referred to when she was ‘gathered’!

My darling daughter died nearly 5 years ago, I don’t say she
passed away, but find saying she is dead causes me distress

I prefer the term ' died' However I recognize that other people find that hard to say , ' passed away ' seems more gentle. It really is of no importance which phrase is used as everyone is in no doubt what is meant. Each to their own !

Grief is a very personal thing and I truly believe that mourning is done in the heart, not in the garments. A funeral is simply a show for the rest of the world. I saw my grandmother in an open coffin in the chapel of rest to say goodbye. I would like to have not actually attended her funeral but I was still susceptible to family pressure back in the 1970s. However I did not go to the wake. I took the morning off and then went in to work! My grandmother would have understood that because she was an immensely practical woman. The rest of the family did not.

Earlier in the week when I had told my boss that my grandmother was being buried on X day and I would be taking the morning off he made a snitty remark about "How many grandmothers is this you have buried?" I walked out of the office and did not speak to him all the next day. I left a strongly worded note telling him how hurt I was by his tasteless remark.

The day of the funeral I came in to work dressing in an all black outfit and waited for the boss to apologise. Not only did he fail to do that, he reminded me I had to make up the time ot take it without pay. I was so angry I stayed off next day, rang his boss, and initiated a formal grievance. The big boss told me to take the rest of the week off with pay and to let him know if I needed more time. I later learned from his secretary that he gave my boss a right rollocking for his "callous and unprofessional remarks". I also asked for a transfer on personal grounds. For the remainder of the time I worked with my boss I refused to speak to him except on strictly business related matters and resisted all attempts at social chat. He never did apologise.

I expect i tool my grief out on my boss.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t passed away meaning died been in regular use for years? I don’t particularly like the singular word passed but I would never contradict anyone for using it, that would be rude and uncaring. People spoke to me about my mum saying she passed and although I prefer died, I would never draw attention to what they had said. I’ve just expressed my opinion on this site, which is what we’re all doing.

Some of us believe in an afterlife & use the phrase ‘passed over’ to refer to them passing into another life. Why should we stop saying it?

We have always said “passed away”

I think everyone has their own views, and I share Annie's views. My parents, my much loved sister have died and their ashes are interred in a grave. For me they have not passed, passed away or any other word that avoids the facts of what has happened to them. I never heard my parents refer to their deceased daughter as other than having died.

Huw Edwards has just referred to the death of the Queen ,
‘Passed away*

MissAdventure dead sounds cold when speaking of our
child x

Saying passed is not a euphemism. That's not a matter of opinion but grammatical fact. Each to their own. If a person suffers tremendous loss semantics do not/should not come into it. Anniebach and MissAdventure for the grievous losses of your daughters maddyone for the loss of your mum for all the bereaved on this thread. It doesn't bloody matter how it's expressed as long as such sorrow is acknowledged IMHO

I find saying my daughter is dead unpleasant sometimes, so I say passed away.

If you die, you are dead. End of. I find all all these euphemisms, uncomfortable and unpleasant, likewise the euphemisms for other bodily functions that arise from the 'do not like to mention in polite company' way of talking..

A new term for died that I’ve seen used in America is ‘transitioned’. Given today’s higher profile of transgender people, it seems a confusing term to use about death.

An argument even about grieving

Passed from this world into whatever is next.

To be tediously pedantic - pass from the state of Life to Death. Not euphemistic, not ambiguous in meaning just another term for changing state by leaving this life.

maddyone

Why do people say that people have ‘passed’ now? They haven’t passed, they’ve died! My mother died three weeks ago. She didn’t pass, she died. Are people so afraid to speak of death? Death is what it is.

I always say died....pass ...I mean what does that even mean ?

MrsKen33

*Lucca*. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

You said you hated it….