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What’s tying you down?

(56 Posts)
Sago Fri 23-Sep-22 08:21:09

We are currently away at our holiday let as we had a cancellation, we are home later today for the weekend and then returning.

We can return on Monday because for the first time in our adult lives we have no ties!
No parents, children, dogs or employers to consider.
We are self employed, our little dog departed in February and we have both lost our parents.
I have given up my voluntary work, we are totally free to do what we wish when we wish.
I feel very lucky but at the same time it’s a little unnerving.

What’s tying you down if anything?

Boz Fri 23-Sep-22 11:52:07

Nothing ties me down unless I want it to. Afraid I use old age to get out of stuff - mostly flying Abroad, which I hate having travelled all over the World. Enough is Enough. I belong to the Karl Pilkington Club.

westerlywind Fri 23-Sep-22 12:00:07

I have been free for a few years now. I lost a lot of confidence as carer to my parents - such as social services telling me my parents were fine, but I knew they were on waiting lists for serious surgery. I was left feeling I did not have any credence no matter how often others were wrong. By the time parents had died and all DC had left home I had lost so much confidence that an outing to the local supermarket was as terrifying as climbing Everest. Driving more than a mile or two was equally terrifying.
I am still trying to build up courage to do normal everyday things

Yiayia4 Fri 23-Sep-22 12:29:27

So sorry for your loss Barmyoldgoat
We used to have long holidays in our boat then motor home.It got too much for us in the end and now we’re happy with short holidays when we can.We look after our DS’s pets a lot,grandchildren not so much as now older.At the moment staying at DS2 house looking after the cats!a sort of holiday.?

maydonoz Fri 23-Sep-22 15:12:22

Yes, we too don't have any real ties, that is, we are free to do whatever and whenever we wish.
We are both in our early seventies, retired and in reasonably good health.
However, we do lots of volunteering, as in collecting DGC from school/nursery.
The youngest DGC, who is one year old, I look after one day per week.
My DH helps our sons with technical jobs and advice.
We are not obliged to do these things but we enjoy it and they can manage when we're not here.
We go abroad to our holiday home when we feel like it so I too feel very lucky.
Like most people, we have worked hard most of our lives, lived within our means and I suppose we can say, now we are reaping the rewards.

Esspee Fri 23-Sep-22 15:22:36

Nothing is tying me down but I would give anything to be tied down by having to look after my parents, now gone sadly.

Kim19 Fri 23-Sep-22 18:09:04

Much as I prefer company on holidays, lack of same does not stop me from venturing away alone. In fact I've had a few memorable and thoroughly enjoyable trips on my own.

annsixty Fri 23-Sep-22 18:31:16

Mainly age.It is such an effort to get ready
even for s few days.
Travel is tiring and I can't get around so well these days.
However I can look back with so much pleasure at travelling in former times.

Katyj Fri 23-Sep-22 18:59:40

Nothing tying us down really. The only thing that prevents us leaving is the huge love we have for our sons their families and my mum. Wouldn’t want to be away long We’d miss them too much ?

Aveline Fri 23-Sep-22 19:07:32

I don't suppose we are really tied down other than by people we care about and activities we choose to get involved in. Holidays are nice but so is being at home. I feel very lucky after my various knee and hip replacements to have my mobility back

Hellogirl1 Fri 23-Sep-22 21:23:45

I feel very selfish saying this, but I am tied down by my daughter, who is very disabled. She has carers 4 times a day, and once in the night, but can`t be left on her own for very long. I`m not bothered about fancy holidays, but an odd day out, or a weekend away, comes with such a lot of planning needed, that it sometimes doesn`t seem worth it.

Grandma70s Fri 23-Sep-22 21:25:08

I’ve noticed several widows on here who say they have nobody to do things with. After I was widowed I did things, went on holiday etc with female friends. It wasn’t much of a problem.

Now, though, I have too many mobility problems to go anywhere.

Luckygirl3 Fri 23-Sep-22 21:56:29

All my friends are coupled up, so holidaying with them is not an option - they go with their partners.

Grandma70s Fri 23-Sep-22 22:14:24

I have a married friend who came on holiday with me, leaving her husband at home. He didn’t mind. We also had days out together. I also did things with a friend who is single.

Luckygirl3 Fri 23-Sep-22 22:26:08

I have days out (and once a weekend) with friends who are married; but I know that none of them would wish to holiday without their partners. That is fine. I understand. When you are widowed you no longer come first with anyone - that is just how it is.

crazyH Fri 23-Sep-22 22:48:58

Barmy - so, so sorry flowers

nadateturbe Fri 23-Sep-22 22:50:05


Mainly age.It is such an effort to get ready
even for s few days.
Travel is tiring and I can't get around so well these days.
However I can look back with so much pleasure at travelling in former times.

This is how we feel. But we have lovely memories of holidays and realise how lucky we've been.

nanna8 Sat 24-Sep-22 00:55:24

Sorry for your loss barmy. It’s hard and good for you for getting on with your life despite sorrow.

V3ra Sat 24-Sep-22 07:58:58


I have days out (and once a weekend) with friends who are married; but I know that none of them would wish to holiday without their partners. That is fine. I understand. When you are widowed you no longer come first with anyone - that is just how it is.

That's such a sad reflection on society isn't it? In a couple, one of us will eventually be left on their own.

For the past few years I've organised a week's winter-sun holiday with three friends: two of us are still married, two of us are widows.

I was encouraged to do this by my husband, who has organised a week's golfing holiday to France for himself and three friends for the last twenty years!

I think we need to take a longer-term view of our futures sometimes.

cornergran Sat 24-Sep-22 08:11:01

Health issues restrict us now, simple as that. I don’t view it as being tied down, just a fact of life. No more overly long journeys (recent necessary trip across the country was exhausting and took days to recover from) or travel out of the U.K. We do what we can and life isn’t bad. As far as routine goes there hasn’t been any for a few years, I’ve just taken on two volunteer roles which will impose some. . How will that be? No idea until I try it.

Gingster Sat 24-Sep-22 08:18:30

We are lucky to have a bolt hole to our seaside cottage, so we do spend a lot of time there, to recharge our batteries, and have no calls on our time.
We are always pleased to be back ‘home’ to see family and friends.. DD has lots of hospital appointments atm , so have to be a support for her and her children. DH also is having tests!
I have lots of hobbies and groups I belong to so I don’t like to miss out in them too much. We try to have a balance!
All in all we have a good life doing what we like most of the time.

Riverwalk Sat 24-Sep-22 08:39:24

Lucky have a look at Riviera Travel - they do 'solo' trips that are not specifically for single people just people who for whatever reason, are travelling solo.

My best friend and I have travelled on non-solo holidays with this company a number of times and they are so well organised and good value for money.

I was booked to do a solo walking in Tuscany trip with them but Covid got in the way - one day I'll get around to re-booking!

Norah Sat 24-Sep-22 08:48:33

Nothing ties us down, we have new knees! Travel is fun, gardening is satisfying, charity volunteering is fulfilling - and finally all our children are grown, flown, and have no needs (for us to accomplish).

Smudgie Sat 24-Sep-22 09:24:03

We are tied down by our lovely 18 year old cat. We had a wonderful boarding cattery very near us where she used to go when we went abroad on holiday. That closed two years ago due to the owners ill health and we have never been able to find somewhere else that matched up to it. Yes someone could come in twice a day and feed her but she would be so lonely and when we look at her lovely little face we just can't do it. We are both 77 and aware that we are putting our lives on hold; we no longer have our parents to look after and our daughter and family are busy with their own lives. We've decided that we will wait until she is no longer with us when hopefully she will have had her last bit of time in the house and in her favourite spot in the garden in the sun.

Katie59 Sat 24-Sep-22 09:51:18

I still work 3 days a week so we work around that, it’s good discipline, we can have long weekends and holidays when we want planning ahead, a structured life I guess. I don’t really look forward to having no structure, I enjoy the job replacing that time won’t be easy.

HowVeryDareYou Sat 24-Sep-22 11:01:14

The lack of available money. We've got a bit of money, but it's all spoken for.