Spending weekend alone

Bluebelle, your reply is very invalidating. Gosh, Knittingnovice has shared a difficult emotion. Some empathy wouldn't go amiss.

oh gosh, I admit I have not read all the comments, but note some have been deleted due to lack of empathy??? whatever.

I admit I often feel lonely/alone, apparently some think there is a slight difference,,

I have found, that for me,, feeling alone/lonely is a feeling..
I find doing a jigsaw can help, ie. on the table as I walk in and out, do a bit, when I feel like it.. stops the mind!!!! the thoughts!!! and reading, but have to find a book that grips,, similarly some tv... I do not sit and watch tv a lot.. very recently went onto Netflix and started to watch Downton, seen it before, but it grabbed me...

I get out most days, go to local church, got some friends there, meet them sometimes,, and recently I have admitted in real life (LOL) that I am lonely...

that I feel alone..

I blame the pandemic, well the changes it has wrought!

yes, an old fashioned word.

hugs and love and good thoughts to all who feel lonely/alone!

I live alone and am retired. So unless I go out I don’t get to speak to anyone. However , I have three tiny dogs and take them out every day and meet up with lots of people walking their dog in the park or on the beach.
You could foster a couple of rescue dogs to see if it suits you to be a dog owner
That’s how i ended up with three!!

If you’re lonely at the weekend no amount of podcasts good books TV is going to help that. .

I am happy to spend time alone but I understand completely how you feel. As a new wife many years ago we lived abroad. I was terribly lonely, despite having new friends at the time. If I were you I'd curl up with a good book or watch something you love on TV.

I fear I can be guilty of that Wyllow3 .
I think if I can cope, others ought to be able to.
Must try harder on empathy skills.
I think and hope we can develop coping strategies for when that awful feeling strikes.
One is knowing it won't last forever.
Another is acceptance so not striving for the unattainable.

M0nica

halfpint1 I posted a couple of messages based on the fact that the OP was talking about feeling lonely over a specific weekend. Unfortunately several people interpreted these in the context of people suffering from long term loneliness and saw them as insensitive, which in that specific context they were, but I posted to what the OP said. It can get confusing.

I am sure podcasts can be helpful to people for all sorts of reasons inll sorts of circumstances.

I think the discussions broadened out, as they often do, and its brought out really heartfelt issues, so positive.

However I think some of the remarks - not yours btw Monica

- just show that some people have the fortunate ability to weather storms and loss better than others, and they perhaps need to think their way is not "better" or even healthier but "different".

halfpint1 I posted a couple of messages based on the fact that the OP was talking about feeling lonely over a specific weekend. Unfortunately several people interpreted these in the context of people suffering from long term loneliness and saw them as insensitive, which in that specific context they were, but I posted to what the OP said. It can get confusing.

I am sure podcasts can be helpful to people for all sorts of reasons inll sorts of circumstances.

M0nica

I thought the thread was about feeling lonely over a weekend, not feeling or being lonely more generally.

Actually Monica listening to Podcasts can not only help loneliness but its cheaper , electricty wise, to have the computer on than the T.V. essential in the present climate
and maybe my loneliness was on a weekend.

I hope you are over your lonely weekend knitting noviceand feeling brighter

For me, now what? What shall I do today, so that I see a face. Same old, same old. I see Maw`s photo, that is my home. All the chairs are empty except the one I am sitting in. It will be this for the rest of my life, not just a weekend

I agree Grammaretto as much as we love & care for them AC can’t replace the love & companionship we had with our DH’s nor can friends….old or new, even those in the same boat but they can be a great support and we can help each other through the tough times.

Whatever the reason for being on your own and feeling lonely Knittingnovice it will help to try & keep busy and if you are able to get out and about there are lots of great things to join, try to accept any invitations to join a new group. That said, it can also be good to have the occasional quiet day to yourself so as not feel overwhelmed.

We can all feel lonely & vulnerable, even in a room full of people and also when walking back into an empty house after a nice day or evening out, especially as the dark nights set in. It’s quite understandable that you are feeling like this. I do agree with halfpint1 about podcasts and also watching inspirational people on You Tube, both well worth a try. I hope things pick up for you and that you are feeling a bit better as Monday approaches

Thank God for Sunday night telly which is normally pretty good.

Funny, when I think of all those years I hated Monday mornings. ?

My DH recently went in a care home and I am finding it very difficult. Yes, I have everything to deal with and to visit him, but do not have any reliable support if needed.

I live in a village which is very cliquey and boy have I found out who my friends are or rather not! I deliberately do not mention my DHs situation and have tried to be friendly, but nothing comes of it.

My phone never rings, I feel very lonely, especially in the evenings and at weekends. I find it hard to concentrate on anything and feel like my life is slipping away.

I thought the thread was about feeling lonely over a weekend, not feeling or being lonely more generally.

halfpint1

Would like to add that someone on here suggested I try Podcasts which I hadn't bothered with before and they became
my lifeline and I am now a devotee of them!

Me too. I discovered Louis Theroux’s podcasts during lockdown and then went on to find many more. I often re listen to You’re Dead to Me and In Our Time ( although not sure if they count as podcasts). Have you got any recommendations? I always go to sleep listening to podcasts etc.

I completely agree. Living in a town where I have zero friends as I moved up here to be with my elderly Mom. She has passed away. I have gone to several churches and the people are friendly but they are all well established with their groups of friends. It is extremely lonely. I read and keep the tv on.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

It is normal to want to be part of a family, a group, a clan, a tribe.
We all seek company.
Ijust think of Robinson Crusoe and the poor old hermit Alexander Selkirk, gone completely mad without human company for 20 years.
I listen to Desert Island discs and ponder what life on my own would be like and shudder.
I miss DH every day but I am coming to realise that this is it and he isn't coming back.
I no longer have my pal, my quiet supporter.
AC do not replace that special companionship.
However I must not wallow.
I had a lovely day today.
I am very glad that you are feeling happier too Knittingnovice

There are some good suggestions upthread for making social contacts. However you should not feel "ashamed" at being lonely. Humans are, on the whole, social animals and often long for company. It is those of s who are self sufficient and greatly enjoy being alone that are often made to feel that we are weird and selfish.

someone whom i knew was bereaved, in her 60s.
she had spent most of her previous non-work time assisting the ill person, or just sitting with them.
she had no time to herself or for herself.
and then she did. and couldn't bear the lack of task.
so she took to getting on any bus, and random;y getting off and seeing where she could get coffee.
some places there wasn't much available, restaurants that had just closed or expected one to buy a full meal.
she just went in anywhere and asked if they served coffee. some refused.
she came to view it as a kind of research exercise.
some fancy restaurants that were closing were v attentive, maybe wondering if she was doing some kind of undercover review or inspection.
she would later mention their service or lack when passing.
i admired her pluck, and creativity.

IN the O/P is written..

"I feel a bit better writing that but I also feel shame and would never say in real life.

Its the shame that is so sad. so many people feel this or versions of it - as we have seen here - but we are in a society that judges this honesty - unfortunately illustrated by some comments on this thread.

It is normal at some times in our lives to feel profound loneliness. Yes, normal. Yes, if it gets out of hand seek help, but if we accept it as normal, with a culture of both being able to bear it for period some times, and seek out other people at other times, and people not being frightened or scornful to hear it...then we are on the way to accepting our shared humanity.

Oh halfpint that’s wonderful that someone’s suggestion has really worked for you.

And knittingnovice you’re welcome.
Tears can be cathartic and a release in a good way. They calm you.
Sleep tight.
x

Would like to add that someone on here suggested I try Podcasts which I hadn't bothered with before and they became
my lifeline and I am now a devotee of them!

I've spent most of my adult life never being alone but often
craving it. Then came Covid and confinement (the french word for lockdown) I was alone for weeks on end and enjoyed
it untill I didn't and one day cracked and wept buckets.
However I have learnt from that and I can sympathise with any one feeling alone, it sucks.

Sorry “an unwilling refugee”