Am I being a misery to resent the huge expense of being a wedding ‘guest”

Sounds as if the rooms were part of the deal - they were obliged to book - and pay for - a certain number. I’ve known this before for a family wedding, but it was very convenient for us and not too expensive. Not that that makes it acceptable in your case.

If you’ve got much better uses for that sort of cash, then personally I wouldn’t feel at all bad about declining with thanks, and just sending a card - maybe with a modest cheque.

Ridiculous. No matter the circumstances, I'd be telling them where to stick their overpriced invitation!

just seen on jeremy vine show that a couple on mumsnet want guests to pay £100 each to attend. is that how it's done these days.
I wouldn't go.

“Please do not feel obliged to give a gift. If you do want to, we prefer cash to vouchers or gifts”

littleflo I’m with you on this one. Of course it makes sense to give vouchers or cash to a couple who’ve been living together for years. But I hate to see it stated on an invitation.

I had an invitation to a friend’s daughter’s wedding a few years ago. I can’t remember the precise wording now but it was a twee sugary little poem basically saying all we want is your lovely company on our special day. But if you really want to gift us something please use this link.

The link led to a breakdown of their reception and their trip to the Maldives. The itemised list gave options to donate the cost of bottles of champagne/a tier of the wedding cake/a pair of designer flip flops/ a contribution to the cost of a night in a private pod with butler service in the honeymoon resort etc.

My nephew sent out invitations in a similar way. We accepted the invitation but not the accommodation. Undecided about the gift as yet.

We cannot refuse to attend. When we were young we spent lots of time together and we’re very close as the cousins were all of similar age. This is the last of that generation to get wed.

The six rooms are for 4 couple plus their teenage children.

As for the cost of the hotel. It is unavoidable due to the location.

This couple sounds very selfish. Those who enjoy a high life style tend to think others can or should afford it too. I would certainly decline the invitation and just send good wishes.

This is a nasty thought - but are they purposely being 'selective' in their guest list, knowing that many will not be able to attend.
This is sad if it is the case as family is SO important, but maybe not to them?

Can you find a cheaper hotel near the venue, a Premier Inn or similar?
If you are expected to stay at the hotel where the reception is held (i.e. B &G got a deal - discount on their reception if they also booked rooms) would you be liable for the room cost anyway? Bit cheeky but it happens!
And if you're a large party (with needing six rooms it sounds like it) is the entire cost of £1.000 plus all down to you? Are there other adults in your party who would pay for their own rooms?

I’m a grump about this type of wedding. It brings out the aging hippie in me. Why can’t they have a legal/religious ceremony and a party at home, is my feeling
I’ve recently turned down an invitation to a five day wedding party in a very expensive hotel in a Southern European country. The cost would have paid for me to have a week’s holiday / a good one at that

Do you really need 6 rooms? That sounds rather a lot to me. It’s an expensive time of year for families though.

Tbh Unless you all desperately want to go to the ‘party’, I would decline the invitation. Send them a John Lewis voucher as a nice gesture.

I would reply that unfortunately you can't attend. Then follow their advice and don't feel obliged to give a gift.