Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

I read it fine Fleurpepper thanks, but I tried to relate it to the OP's circumstances. When we were 30, 40 or even 50, living abroad, health issues never even crossed our minds, (luckily we hardly ever needed to see a doctor). Roll on into your near 80s which the OPs are I can imagine feeling far less comfortable, confident and even perhaps scared to be abroad facing ill health and having to discuss specialist medical terms in a foreign tongue.

halfpint1

Well here goes, this is not a Brit bashing but a truth
My mother was placed in a Home by Social Services after
they decided her own first floor flat without a lift was unfit for her.
My Aunt rang me after a few weeks and told me to come and
get my mother as she constantly stank of urine and was unhappy (they were both in their 80's.)
I found a place for her near me in a residential home which was cheaper than the English one and on a much higher level
( anything was better than 2 terrace houses which had been knocked together) When I took my mother they said she would'nt last 3 months, she lived another 3 years
The language was never a problem the French carers were
brilliant at teaching her a few words and as she was quite
down the line with Dementia she never really realised where
she was.
Altogether I felt it had been the best move.

I have to say, halfpint1, that the care home where my mother spent very nearly the last 8 years of her life until she died at 97 (she had dementia) was excellent. It was a specialist dementia home not far from us in outer SW London and was by no means the most expensive we looked at.

I would guess that around half of the residents were local-authority, rather than self-funded - it wasn’t an exclusively private care home - and all the residents had exactly the same type of en suite rooms.

Joseanne

Brittany is very much the same pascal30. Lots of elderly Brits who bought large ish rural houses with big gardens they could never hope to afford in the UK. Now they want to sell up and return but can't shift their properties to French people.
I have a friend who is scared stiff about her DH having to go into a retirement home as he won't understand a thing they say .... just like the OP said was their main reason for leaving.

I do believe you misread the OP- I am sure both her and OH speak French very well, but did not feel confident with very specialised medical terms. A vast difference!

My in-laws lived in France for half the year from 1990. They sold up and moved back permanently 12 years later. Partly due to increased taxes but also a few health worries.
They were quite unsettled here for a while. They moved house 3 times ending up about 4 miles from us. By that time they were in their 80s. .
I realise now how unsettled they were. It took ages to adjust but they persevered and made new friends. They continued to visit France but gradually weaned themselves from that enjoying visits from their DC, DGC and DGGC and having local holidays..
Grandpa has died now and DMiL still soldiers on at 97 . I take her out every week and she is looked after at her home.
She is an amazingly strong woman so all that moving hasn't done her much harm

Oh yes, the shiny floating butter globules! ?

Hithere

Yummy!

"I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate."
Just like churros....

My French exchange girl’s mother (I was 14) used to dunk her breakfast tartine in a bowl of milky tea. Apart from being startled that it wasn’t coffee (I’d thought the French only drank coffee) the sight of all those golden globules of melted butter floating on her tea used to make me heave.

Well here goes, this is not a Brit bashing but a truth
My mother was placed in a Home by Social Services after
they decided her own first floor flat without a lift was unfit for her.
My Aunt rang me after a few weeks and told me to come and
get my mother as she constantly stank of urine and was unhappy (they were both in their 80's.)
I found a place for her near me in a residential home which was cheaper than the English one and on a much higher level
( anything was better than 2 terrace houses which had been knocked together) When I took my mother they said she would'nt last 3 months, she lived another 3 years
The language was never a problem the French carers were
brilliant at teaching her a few words and as she was quite
down the line with Dementia she never really realised where
she was.
Altogether I felt it had been the best move.

Brittany is very much the same pascal30. Lots of elderly Brits who bought large ish rural houses with big gardens they could never hope to afford in the UK. Now they want to sell up and return but can't shift their properties to French people.
I have a friend who is scared stiff about her DH having to go into a retirement home as he won't understand a thing they say .... just like the OP said was their main reason for leaving.

When I was last in France,down near Bordeaux the whole area was saturated with houses for sale by elderly Brits. Apparently the lack of local buses and trains made it very difficult to live in their lovely houses.when they needed medical care.. But if you are still able to drive have you considered getting a camper van to explore our beautiful country? You could take GC's and/or go back and visit France..without the enormous upheaval of actually moving..

Easier just to spread Nutella.

Kalu

I have had the odd dunk ? but the strangest thing I remember as a child in France was chocolate sandwiches, pieces of chocolat between two slices of bread. Never did take to it.

I remember DS coming home from an exchange trip to France; the French mother had packed them a baguette each filled with chocolate.
Neither DS nor the French boy had eaten them.

I have had the odd dunk ? but the strangest thing I remember as a child in France was chocolate sandwiches, pieces of chocolat between two slices of bread. Never did take to it.

Soggy! ?

Yummy!

"I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate."
Just like churros....

Oh, I must order some.
I know they're calorific but they are a must-have on Christmas Day.
I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate.
Yuk!

Callistemon21

? ??????

Ooooh?. I had croissants with Brie and Bon Maman Black Cherry confiture this morning Calli

I have never attempted to make the croissants I bought every morning when we lived in France. I have however discovered Waitrose frozen, ready to bake croissant, pain au chocolat and pain au raisin. Perfect, just like a visit to my local patisserie. I would highly recommend them.

Unfortunately, not so, their baguettes Joseanne. Good luck with your attempt. ?

? ??????

Croissants? Be carefull the Thread Police maybe watching.

I joined the local u3A the week before the first lockdown, in March 20, hoping to meet new friends, and will go back next month fir the first time since then. Covid made things difficult for all of us, but hopefully things will pick up now.

Joseanne

Croissants are definitely more complicated. I've never tried.
The baguettes should be easy enough but I can't get them to go crunchy on the outsides. Maybe domestic ovens don't get hot enough?

Fan ovens don't help.

Would love to go back, but OH says we are simply too advanced in age {79 + 77} to even contemplate another major upheaval. He's right but it is so difficult trying to adapt......

I think CountessFosco has accepted that her DH is probably talking sense even though she is finding it difficult.

What Gransnetters are trying to do is support her by suggesting ways in which she can feel happier here, join groups, meet people and generally begin to feel more settled.

I would think the biggest obstacle to this was Covid restrictions where clubs and societies perhaps only met by Zoom and it would be impossible to join in and get to know people. Likewise going out and visiting the lovely areas the UK has to offer.

I hope they'll be able to do that now and things will improve for them.

Croissants are definitely more complicated. I've never tried.
The baguettes should be easy enough but I can't get them to go crunchy on the outsides. Maybe domestic ovens don't get hot enough?

Callistemon21

^This is not a political thread^.

Worth repeating as it has turned from a thread trying to help and support a Gransnetter into a wholly political, Britain-bashing thread. Very unfair on the poor OP imo.

*This is not a political thread*

Totally agree- but politics do influence our lives, and our decisions, and how easy or not these are.

CountessF seems to have totally understood this. My comment about B making things VERY different for any UK retiree to move to EU was totally relevant, in so many ways, including healthcare access and length of stay allowed- until CF mentionned that her OH holds an EU passport.

Hope you find a way to make it all work positively for you- but understand how you feel and how hard it must be. hugs

I tried making croissants once ......