Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

It may be little things, bringing back a happy memory by always having the best pastries
Ha ha, NotSpaghetti, I'm going to try recreating memories of delicious French baguettes this afternoon. The last lot I made weren't successful.

We enjoyed our time in France but Brexit caused us to return to the UK. The UK is in a mess thanks to Cameron, May, Johnson and Truss but we have to make the best of it. Of course, not everything is fine and dandy in France or the EU but our experience of, say, the French NHS was far better than what is happening here in the UK.

The mention of Brexit is not political at all- but expresses the fact that post Jan 2021- moving to an EU country for UK people, especially retirees, has become hugely more complicated. Permits, minimum income and opening bank account and keeping UK ones, driving licence, health care and so much more, including very poor exchange rates for Sterling. This is NOT 'political', just plain fact

But totally irrelevant to CountessFosco's situation as she has already said that her DH has an EU passport, although he is reluctant to return to France.

I hope you can find a way forward so that you can both enjoy your retirement near your family CountessFosco. I can fully understand the feeling of homesickness, called hiraeth in Wales. However, trying to recapture the past by moving back to where we were happy when we were young doesn't always work out as we hoped.

This is not a political thread.

Worth repeating as it has turned from a thread trying to help and support a Gransnetter into a wholly political, Britain-bashing thread. Very unfair on the poor OP imo.

This is not a political thread

Of course, leave you to it. My comments were totally pertinent to this thread.

Fluerpepper, as a British citizen, I am fully aware of the crises my country is going through! Do not put words into my mouth, nowhere in my post did I tell you that the NHS is not in crisis! I have family medics working in these conditions.

You have made your feelings and points very clear re. the crisis in the UK. Can we now please, return to the subject of this thread.

Kalu
Now you mention it ?

Please Fleurpepper do not make this thread the subject of politics or the NHS. Do you live in the UK? If not, the NHS is really not relevant to any thread, and certainly not this one.

One thing more to consider on moving away, when you have moved to live near your children and grandchildren, is the rejection of them that they will feel once you move away from them.It is bound to cause hurt.

Excellent post NotSpaghetti.

Kalu- no-one is bashing the UK. It is not 'political' to mention that since Jan 2021, it is not much more difficult for any UK retiree to move to the EU, for all the reasons I stated. This is a FACT, not a politcal statement.

Are you really telling me that the NHS is not in a massive crisis now? Really?

Much earlier in the thread, CountessFosco, I said to make pros and cons lists of staying or leaving and once it's done see how many of the staying "cons" are possible to change (with a bit of serious effort).

Then look at the other list, (the leaving one) and see how that list stacks up against the staying one.
Is it possible to have something of the leaving list whilst staying here?
It may be little things, bringing back a happy memory by always having the best pastries, joining a French conversation/language group, travelling back for visits now and again.

I honestly don't think it's really too late to go back if the odds are truly stacked against you here - but obviously the sooner the better.

Don't be swayed by other people, but be guided by both your head and your heart!

Just wondering if you could go back for a 6 month re-trial if still unconvinced?

I personally think that if you stay you should be able to truly commit to it.

Don't forget, as the grandchildren grow they will no doubt make their own relationships with you - as my children have done with their grandmother. They always loved her and were delighted to see her - but since she moved closer our children, as adults, have kind and caring relationships which are so thoughtful and generous and mutual they have grown quite differently in friendships together.

What I will also say, is that it will probably be comforting to have your son close as you age, and in time, and with more friendly contact, it may even be that your relationship with your daughter-in-law improves.
... After all, you have always been away and now, whilst reasonably fit and healthy you may be able to contribute more to their lives, more than just twice a year holidays.

Good luck. It's a tough decision.

Thinking of you.

It certainly worked for me to be near my adult children who are caring and kind. It would have been increasingly difficult if not impossible for them to look out for me if I lived hundreds of miles away from them.

I am content in my own company and have never bothered them for a social life.

Why am I getting a feeling of déjà vu reading your posts Fluerpepper? Very similar style to a poster, no longer posting but consistently bashed the UK at every opportunity, as you are doing on this thread. This is not a political thread.

Hardly encouraging for CountessFosco who, since returning to England is looking for suggestions on how to adapt to her new life.

Such a horrible situation for you OP, at an age when we should have found contentment, your DH is adamant not to return to France and you are left feeling so unsettled. I appreciate how difficult it will be for you to get out and about to meet new people when your heart isn’t in it. I sincerely hope in time, your circumstances take a turn for the better. ?

Better climes? We switched from soggy, damp, dark, cold Brittany back to sunny, warm Devon. There is no contest! Having said that, my older bones would definitely choose somewhere warmer abroad. Granite walls are like ice in winter.

I agree halfpint1 we are very good at criticising the UK, that's what many come on GN expressly to do! But those who do accept the failings yet also find something good and positive here must be the ones who enjoy the better life.

The 'better climes' expression is metaphorical and not necessarily about the weather.

The mention of Brexit is not political at all- but expresses the fact that post Jan 2021- moving to an EU country for UK people, especially retirees, has become hugely more complicated. Permits, minimum income and opening bank account and keeping UK ones, driving licence, health care and so much more, including very poor exchange rates for Sterling. This is NOT 'political', just plain fact.

Since then, CountessFosco has mentionned the fact her OH has an EU passport, which changes a lot, but not all. UK resisdents abroad have had their UK bank accounts closed, driving licences still have to be exchanged in some countries, and re-taken from scratch in others, and Sterling is still much lower than it used to be. All those facts have to be taken into account, as well as the cost of move, and the emotional side too.

Moving back is hard enough, without having to face the huge issues the UK is facing today, including a crumbling NHS- hence my real sympathy and empathy for CountessF.

I do find the comment about ‘better climes’ a bit odd - if the weather is meant, that is. The U.K. climate is generally pretty benign compared to many, especially in recent years, what with severe droughts, catastrophic wildfires and major flooding in many places.
And yes, I have lived in different climates - both Mediterranean and Middle Eastern deserts.

^CountessFosco*

I hope the pessimistic turn the thread has taken has not made you feel more unsettled.

Britain has a lot to offer; as you have lived overseas for so long, perhaps joining the National Trust, English Heritage etc would encourage you both to explore our history, the beautiful scenery and heritage of this country.
We did this when we retired and have spent many enjoyable hours and days away exploring places we'd never visited previously.

Who are the cliques
Do you mean in the Parliamentary Tory Party?

I think we're straying off what is helpful to CountessFosco

Fleurpepper

Oh but we do, we truly do- want another GE right now! Nothing more boring that people who will close their ears and eyes, deny reality, and excuse the inexcusable. Especially those who do in 'cliques' ;)

Do you live in the UK, Fleurpepper?
I'm confused.

Most posters have stated if they do not but your reply was rather ambivalent.
It would seem so as you refer to we as if you speak for the UK electorate.

Are you a returned ex-pat, Fleurpepper?
If so, from experience, what advice would you give CountessFosco?
it seemed a fair question.

It is true- but it is totally wrong to assume this is the case here! Very unfair.

I don't understand,
It cannot be both true and wrong to assume this is the case

It might give some context.

Fleurpepper

Oh but we do, we truly do- want another GE right now! Nothing more boring that people who will close their ears and eyes, deny reality, and excuse the inexcusable. Especially those who do in 'cliques' ;)

Straw man argument
Nobody denies the need for a GE
Nobody is closing their eyes and ears
Nobody is excusing the inexcusable.
We are talking about a lady who feels homesick for her ex-pat homes but has to balance that with the problem of a DH who feels at 79 it would be too much of an upheaval and the “pull” of wanting to be closer to their AC and GC.
Revenons à nos moutons, ma chère

Sarah74

If you did move back to France, would the AC and GC visit you? Have they been doing that previously?

Yes, once per annum for many years and then we would speak on Skype each Sunday morning

CountessFosco I do sympathise. Until my husband became ill in 2010 we used to travel to Italy at least twice a year, to a little village that was like a second home. We also had a friend in France whom we could stay with at any time. My husband's illness stopped all that and the next 10 years of our retirement was dealing with his deteriorating health. After he died there came lock down and another two years of no travelling.

I am lucky in that I am close to my children and grandchildren but I do miss our times in Italy and France - the scenery, the people, the food. I could go by myself but it was something we did together, tottering around on my own wouldn't be the same. Life here is terribly grey at the moment and likely to get worse yet.

Callistemon21 Thank you so much for your kind comments.

Your husband probably has a point about not going back but luckily it's working out for us this time.

Oh but we do, we truly do- want another GE right now! Nothing more boring that people who will close their ears and eyes, deny reality, and excuse the inexcusable. Especially those who do in 'cliques' ;)

As Brenda from Bristol said “Not another one?”

It is indeed, and very relevant here.