Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

''Even if it were, the joy of being nearer my AC and grandchildren would make up for a heck of a lot.,,

indeed. But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind.

Brexit is very much part ot it, for sure. All EU countries are facing difficulties now, but Brexit has made it all so much worse for the UK, this is undeniable.

But I can assure you, no-where in Europe is going through the massive divisions we have currently in the UK. And the UK has add the huge upheaval and consequences of Brexit, which has made very single issue other EU countries are facing, so much worse
?Oh I knew Brexit was to blame -as indeed it is for everything isn’t it??
Even if it were, the joy of being nearer my AC and grandchildren would make up for a heck of a lot.

Sincere and grateful thanks to all those who have responded positively and with empathy - very grateful to you all, especially those who have been through a similar experience and particularly to Fleurpepper, whose words brought comfort.

I think it is the language issues the OP is worried about where future healthcare was concerned, ie communicating one's problems.
it is often extremely difficult becoming old and infirm in one's own language, let alone a foreign one where specialist expressions are well nigh incomprehensible. So that was also a deciding factor. Not waiting times or tightening her belt.

I think friends are the answer and you probably need to join some things and find a few people you like to spend time with. There is nothing worse than that loneliness you feel when you start life in a new country, it is horrible but you need to push yourself into finding out what is around and joining things. I know , a lot easier said than done but it is the way to go.

fitness what? doing the UK down.

There are of course problems everywhere with energy prices and cost of living- that is indeed true.

But I can assure you, no-where in Europe is going through the massive divisions we have currently in the UK. And the UK has add the huge upheaval and consequences of Brexit, which has made very single issue other EU countries are facing, so much worse.

One of the reasons OP mentionned, was returning to Healthcare where they could communitcate well with Doctors. And they possibly had in mind the wonderful NHS they knew before. But are now faced with not being able to get appointments, and even then, be put on massive waiting lists, unless they are very rich and can afford private heatlh care. I can assure you all, the the German, Dutch, French health services are running smoothly, with no waiting lists, or very short.

As said, many comments were supportive- but the words chosen by some seemed patronising and lacking in empathy.

I have many friends who are expats/immigrants all over EU, and all are saying the same 'we would rather have to tighten our belt VERY hard, than go back now. And many friends and family in the UK who are saying 'oh we wish we had gone when we could', and young ones planning their escape.

Believe me, or not.

But feel for the OP, I do most sincerely. And yes, family issues will make those concerns worse.

Fleurpepper I notice you have tried to drag your contributions from this thread onto a different political thread. Is that to entice the whole readership of GN to join in doing the UK fitness?

Look at it this way, you have had a wonderful time abroad and probably sampled the best that each country had to offer. Now back in the UK you have had time to take stock and of course there will be nostalgia and longings for past experiences.
But now is now and it sounds as if there are other issues troubling you. I would examine the family dynamics and if you aren't enjoying being where you are and Herts doesn't offer what you want, then pack up and head back to the coast.

I think your comments on this thread are very sensible ones MawThe Merrier
I hope people will not indulge in doing down the UK, and as we know all of Europe, and further, are having hard times.
The OP is more concerned that having moved near to her family, they are still not seeing the grandchildren much more.

“Home is where the heart is” or so they say and for me that is more about people than places.
I miss the life we had in London 30 years ago before we moved to our present village but you can’t turn the clock back can you? There have been advantages and disadvantages, but that is life isn’t it?
When I said “put our big girl pants on” that was meant to initiate a fair appraisal of what OP misses, why she moved and why it doesn’t seem to have turned out well. To agree what they can do about it, and then agree on a course of action.
I think OP is very fortunate that she seems to have both her health and her OH in their mid-late 70’s and hope they can arrive at the right decision to enjoy the years they have left instead of looking back with nostalgia and regret.

I totally understand how you feel. When we moved back from the Netherlands I felt totally displaced. This country felt alien as so much had changed in the years we had been away.
We went back this summer which made me homesick for Holland all over again. I loved our way of life there and have many close friends.

However I do realise that I am idealising life over there. Things have moved on there to and they have the same problems we do - high inflation etc.

I hope you manage to settle here I know it is hard.

When I returned after 14 years I thought I would fit right in, after all I was back “home”.
It came as a huge shock that it all felt so alien.

This country is in a terrible mess, but my friends all over the world have similar complaints regarding where they are based. Admittedly they are not having to face Tory corruption and incompetence but the cost of living problems, especially the cost of energy, is affecting people everywhere.
You special problem is not feeling welcomed by family. You are probably going to have to accept that and concentrate on making friends and enjoying life where you are.
I hope you settle.

The fuel shortage has caused untold problems and worry for
many people but generally the French population understand strike action. In this case the refinery workers went on strike for a pay rise and in protest at the huge profits made by the likes of Total and Esso during the recent rise in fuel prices and the payment of bonuses - as usual - to shareholders The strike was understandable and highlighted yet again corporation greed.
Happily its nearly over and petrol flows again as does mustard.

inflation is sky rocketing in other countries. eg Holland is 14.1%

mokryna

Wow Fleurpepper The mustard was supposed to have been a joke.

I got it mokryna!

I think it is ok to criticise the incompetency of our government and the stupidity of certain decisions, but once we start getting bitter and making unfavourable comparisons with other countries it is tantamount to suggesting that all our people are rotten too, and that just isn't so. Wasn't it Churchill who said he never went round unnecessarily finding fault with his own country in public?

I remember visiting some cousins who had moved "home" to England after a lifetime in India.
Their house in Sutton (outskirts of London) was cold and damp and he didn't get out of bed. She was wrapped in coats and they seemed so sad.
I only saw them once and my mother told me that they returned to India as it just was too cold. depressing and expensive in the UK
This was back in 1960.

It is not uncommon to move back to home country and be disappointed

Isnt this the same dil that you mentioned in the past?
I hope your son is facilitating visits with us kids

MawtheMerrier
Well said.
And now the eu countries are fighting amongst themselves because they can’t agree on a price cap on gas.

Wow Fleurpepper The mustard was supposed to have been a joke.

Plenty of support, advice and suggestions on here.

No I am not. It is a very tough one. My advice is irrelevant, as that boat has sailed...

To move back is very difficult, but to move back in the current political circumstances, is much much tougher- especially as healthcare was a major factor in the decision- perhaps with rose tinted glasses about the NHS.

All I am asking is for assumptions not to be made, and for a bit more empathy, understanding and support for the way she is feeling. Simple enough.

Fleurpepper

Who cares about mustard? But yes, an effective Health Service is definitely a big pro.

And I'm afraid the current situation in the UK is not matched elsewhere at the moment- and the UK IS the laughing stock- whether you wish to believe it, or not.

Again, making assumptions about the OP, which is totally unfair.

So are you advising the OP to return to Belgium, France or Switzerland if the UK is such a dreadful place to live, then?

Her DH thinks it is too late at their age, too much upheaval.

I do know how expensive it is to move, fine if you are able to downsize or move somewhere where property is cheaper but it costs £tens of thousands.

Who cares about mustard? But yes, an effective Health Service is definitely a big pro.

And I'm afraid the current situation in the UK is not matched elsewhere at the moment- and the UK IS the laughing stock- whether you wish to believe it, or not.

Again, making assumptions about the OP, which is totally unfair.