Dog friendly? What would you do?

I've eaten in some dog friendly places that were fine but I've also been to one I would never go in again. It seemed to have no restrictions whatsoever. It was noisy because some of the dogs seemed to do nothing but bark at the others, especially when a new one came in, you couldn't have a proper conversation. It was a damp day and it smelt of wet dog. And some of the owners had dogs sitting on their knee and were feeding them by hand. It was revolting.

As I said upthread, I could not have just left the dog owner, who presumably was my friend, to sit alone. I cannot see how anyone could do that and still enjoy their meal.
I’m not a great dog lover, I prefer cats. But we’ve looked after our children’s dogs sometimes. I prefer not to eat in the dog friendly area, but I could not have left my friend to eat alone. I just couldn’t do it.

Yes it is about friendship. However, some people will bring a dog along without asking if it's OK with other people. They assume that everyone will love their dog because they do.

Lathyrus

Actually thinking about the crutches when my husband was in a wheelchair there were times when we couldn’t go to some things because it wasn’t wheelchair friendly.

We never expected our friends to not go just because we couldn’t.

There are alternatives, surely. If you have friends who have mobility issues, you do everything to include them and not make that disability even worse because friends can't be bothered to support. Yes, there will be a couple of things were this will not work, fair enough.

FannyCornforth

Can I come please?
I promise that I’ll sit on the floor!

No dog at the moment, Waiting to adopt another from a friend with a rescue in Djerba who will arrive early next year. Then we should organise a get together with all the dogs, those of us who <3 them

Agree totally that those who bring dogs into restaurants and allow them to sit on seats, beg at tables, etc- give us all the bad name!

It's not about dogs. It's about friendship.

Some (and I stress some) dog owners assume that everyone likes dogs. They don't.

Actually thinking about the crutches when my husband was in a wheelchair there were times when we couldn’t go to some things because it wasn’t wheelchair friendly.

We never expected our friends to not go just because we couldn’t.

I really don’t get “This is what I want and you must all fall in with it to keep meeeeee happy.”

RichmondPark1

Here's another analogy. You go out with friends and the restaurant is up a flight of stairs but there is a conservatory at ground level where the same menu is served. One of the group is on crutches and can't make the stairs. You all knew she was on crutches before you set off and other lunchers have often come out when they've been incapacitated. Does she eat alone?

Joseanne and FannyCornforth Can my dog join you and yours for lunch please? She's a very good girl and no trouble at all even when the meal is a picnic and temptingly laid out at ground level.

No, that doesn’t work does it? The person on crutches doesn’t have any choice.

The OP could choose

Leave dog at home
Take car for dog to stay in during lunch
Take dog and expect everyone to eat in dog friendly area whether they would like that or not

She choose number three. That’s fine. It was her choice. It’s just a fact that other people can also make a choice. Just like she did.

Haven't read all the comments.

I'm surprised that not one of those who knew you well were prepared to sit with you and your dog. I'd be most uncomfortable leaving someone to sit alone if I was in a group - whether I knew them or not.

I'm not fond of dogs in eating areas - but have found that most owners are considerate and keep their pets under control.

And leaving an animal tied up outside is fraught with danger - not least the danger that someone might steal it!

... find a new group. Perhaps one that has other dog owners in it.

Here's another analogy. You go out with friends and the restaurant is up a flight of stairs but there is a conservatory at ground level where the same menu is served. One of the group is on crutches and can't make the stairs. You all knew she was on crutches before you set off and other lunchers have often come out when they've been incapacitated. Does she eat alone?

Joseanne and FannyCornforth Can my dog join you and yours for lunch please? She's a very good girl and no trouble at all even when the meal is a picnic and temptingly laid out at ground level.

A smoker can choose not to smoke on occasions. A dog owner can't choose to leave the dog tied up outside as someone might steal the dog.

Even if the walking group was a crowd of twenty people it's reasonable to assume one or two of them would be aware of the needs of a minority of one.

I must be rather fortunate as the groups of friends that I have would never have left the OP to eat alone, wouldn't think they were being "dictated to" by one person in the group and wouldn't have made a big thing about "compromising". They'd have just said X has got the dog with her so we'll eat in the dog friendly part of the restaurant. Absolutely no big deal whatsoever. No wonder they say a dog is a man's best friend!

Reading through these posts I can see both sides. I would have sat with the OP despite my dislike of dogs. I have spent my life giving in to other people!
Slight different but a similar situation. I have a friend who I see occasionally for a meal. She is a total fusspot about where and what she eats. I always give in to her. On one occasion me and DH went out with her and her husband. She had us driving up to pubs, asking one of the men to go in and find out if they served this and that. If she wasn't happy, we drive to another one. What idiots we are

And it’s a no thanks from me.

But that’s ok isn’t it? Because we can all do what we want.?

You came home. Quite right!

I am sorry you were disappointed in your companions. You seem to make friends fairly easily and I am sure you will find more congenial people.

Can I come please?
I promise that I’ll sit on the floor!

Yes, me too!

Yes, Joseanne! On my way ?

I'm very well behaved. Anyone fancy joining me?

A “compromise” would have been for the OP to take her dog on the walk (what she wanted) and for the group to have a dog free meal in the restaurant (what they wanted).

Compromises are when both parties accept something of what the other wants.

Isn’t that what happened? They went along with one of her expectations, (I’m bringing my dog) but not with the other( and so we’ll all have to eat in the dog friendly place)

If she’d got her way, how would that have been compromise?

It would just have been one person dictating to the whole group how things have to be, to suit only her.

How would people who call the friends 'unbelievably rude' and similar feel if the OP had said she was a smoker and wanted to sit in a (mythical) smoking area with other smokers, and was then upset when her non-smoking friends declined?

The situation is different, but the principle is the same - one person expecting everyone to fall in line with her and being upset when they didn't.

Again, I would probably have relented and sat with the dog owner rather than leave her on her own, but I would have felt that my preferred option of a chatty lunch with a group of people (and possibly the chance to make new friends) had been missed. I know that bringing my dog (when I had him) would not have crossed my mind unless I had checked with others first that this would suit the majority and would fit around the eating arrangements. Had a table in the restaurant area been booked?

Next time there's a walk I'd send a message to the group in advance saying your dog is impeccably behaved at the table and won't disturb anyone's meal. Then see who is kind enough to join you in the conservatory, and if no one does just forget the lot of them.

That made me laugh Maw! ?