Dog friendly? What would you do?

If I'm organising a walk finishing with a meal, I'd check that all the participants are catered for. For a vegan, I'd make sure there was something on the menu, for someone with mobility issues, that the walk was safe for them, and they could attempt it. Elderly- not too taxing. And obviously transport, that all could attend and get home.
Organising a get-together that excludes some, is counterproductive.
I read this thread, on and off, for a couple of days. Some of the comments are just strange.

Of course, friendships, relationships, being neighbours etc all takes give and take. We all tolerate things to keep the peace and as not hurt others (within reason)

Every month I go along with my friend to an event I don't enjoy. She couldn't go if I didn't accompany her. I go because it enables her to do the thing she loves and it makes me happy to see her enjoy it. Over the years she's done so many things for me that I know aren't quite her thing and she's also helped me out when I've needed it as I have her. If we have a problem with each other, we talk about it, we don't just cut the other off. It's a bit of give and take and we all live like that don't we?

I've not heard anyone here saying they would dump people who don't give in to them, or that they would dump friends until they have only those who defer to them. People felt sorry for the OP who was abandoned without explanation. If it is that the dog is a nuisance, not one of them had the decency, courage or trusted their communication skills enough to talk to her about it. That was unkind.

I get that we're never going to agree on this.

Lathyrus

Yes, I’ve been quite taken aback by the number of people who said they would dump their friends if the friends wouldn’t do what they wanted.

Still I suppose it makes sense. Eventually you only have a circle that will always give in to you. And you’re happy.

And of course you always have your dog.

Yes, I’ve been quite taken aback by the number of people who said they would dump their friends if the friends wouldn’t do what they wanted.

Still I suppose it makes sense. Eventually you only have a circle that will always give in to you. And you’re happy.

I imagine the OPs dog was the only one on this walk as the other people didn't have the dog access problem. However, she has told us, "I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's."

So with this group dogs, and the OPs dog in particular are known to the group, come on walks and are generally accepted as part and parcel of the walk.

Isn't it interesting how we all have different takes on dogs, friendship and where compromise becomes coercion.

Jaberwok

Strange we're not hearing any more from the OP. Perhaps she's busy, out, or just unavailable, fair enough, but it would be nice to know if hers was the only dog, if the eating out situation has been discussed in advance and if any other compromise was suggested. If mine had been the only dog I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have taken her. Just because we think the sun shines out of her, we also understand that not everyone does.

This is true, and hard to answer the OP without knowing.
However, I do not think real friends would leave you to eat on your own, and trying up the dog out of sight would be unfair to it and he would probably bark and whine anyway.
So I would have said that to my friends and gone home.

It's the assumption that you're not nice because you don't like them that gets me. My husband is the same as me and has been called 'not nice. Mind you, he's a dreadful man. Fancy him going through an operation to give his bone marrow to a stranger in another country. Dreadful man!

Kate1949

Some dog owners can't see the other point of view unfortunately. As mentioned on previous posts, I have been called a not very nice person because I don't like dogs, as has my husband. However, I would have sat with the friend and the dog.

I do know what you mean Kate.
As much as I adore every hair on my dog’s little fluffy head; I have met some dogs that I definitely do not like.
Unfortunately, one was a rather nasty (and smelly) character who was a constant presence in our local pub (he was the landlord’s dog)

We have 3 dogs, walk them 4 times a day - before meals and bed. We'd never take them out with other people or dogs, alien thought to me.

I still understand where OP is coming from, and still contend I'd not leave her to lunch alone in a different space to the other friends.

I know my answer is based on our 8-10 miles a day walking, I have no interest in any more dog walking. Other people are in different situations.

Some dog owners can't see the other point of view unfortunately. As mentioned on previous posts, I have been called a not very nice person because I don't like dogs, as has my husband. However, I would have sat with the friend and the dog.

Incidentally, I am not berating her either. I can understand her being upset, but feel that there is either more to this story than we know, or that the OP simply doesn't realise that there is another point of view.

I am not a dog owner but I can see this from the OP point of view and seemingly that of many others contributors. I certainly would not expect my friends to leave their dogs tied up outside a restaurant nor would I expect them to be alone during the meal. Had I been with this group I would have opted to sit in the dog friendly area with the dog owner and stuff the rest of the party because they are not worthy of anyones friendship.

Simply pointing out that there are two sides to this doesn't mean that anyone can't see it from the OP's point of view. I can absolutely see it from both sides, but that means seeing the friends' point as well as the OP's. Jumping to one side and saying 'stuff the rest of the party' is not going to help the OP to understand where the others are coming from, so is not being helpful to her at all.

We go on country walks regularly and we don't have dogs.

No,I'm not berating her, I thought I made that clear. I am curious as to whether it was a doggy walk or whether it was just one dog involved. Also if it was discussed whether friends changed their attitude at the last minute, which would certainly put a different light on things.

I would go home, I go nowhere without my dogs,

I’m surprised that there weren’t any other dogs there too
(I think that it’s obvious that there weren’t, as Rose would have mentioned what they and there dog did in the situation).

I thought that one of the main reasons, if not the reason, for a country walk was dogs.

Please don’t berate the op for not returning, she might be upset about yesterday’s events, especially if it involved close friends.
Sometimes I’ve started a thread, and then sort of wished I hadn’t (as have others, I imagine )

Strange we're not hearing any more from the OP. Perhaps she's busy, out, or just unavailable, fair enough, but it would be nice to know if hers was the only dog, if the eating out situation has been discussed in advance and if any other compromise was suggested. If mine had been the only dog I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have taken her. Just because we think the sun shines out of her, we also understand that not everyone does.

Thistlelass

If I had been I'm that group I would have said I would eat in the 'dog' area with you. Maybe tried to encourage others to think about it also.

Me too - think I would have preferred the company of the dog than some of the group

To be fair a country walk is the sort of meet up where I would expect people to turn up with dogs.

Right decision to come home. What strange behaviour from your friends

Nightsky2

ParlorGames

RichmondPark1

It's not about dogs. It's about friendship.

Exactly!
Who wouldn't expect a dog owner to take their dog on a 'long countryside walk with a group of friends'? Someone must have known the restaurants regulations on dogs from the outset surely, but chose not to say anything - rather unkind in my opinion.
I am not a dog owner but I can see this from the OP point of view and seemingly that of many others contributors.
I certainly would not expect my friends to leave their dogs tied up outside a restaurant nor would I expect them to be alone during the meal.
Had I been with this group I would have opted to sit in the dog friendly area with the dog owner and stuff the rest of the party because they are not worthy of anyones friendship.

Of course you would because you are kind and considerate and have good manners.
These so called friends are all lacking in basic good manners and are all very selfish and didn’t consider what GrannyRosie15 was going to do nor did they care what she was going to do. They all knew that she couldn’t eat in the restaurant because of the dog.
It’s not as if they didn’t have a choice of where they could all be together. This is not how you treat a friend. It was very unkind.

You only have the story from the dog owners point of view. The dog could have been a menace on the walk and the others could have been fed up with it. Hints might have been dropped about the dog not coming along. Some of the people she knew well so perhaps they would have expected the dog, others she didn't and perhaps they were surprised to see it. Does an invitation to a country walk have to include someone's dog? Perhaps they had already discussed where they would eat and agreed the inside dog free area. It does seem strange that all opted for that area without any discussion. Usually if a group are going to eat somewhere they talk about it as they walk.

Our dog is as much a member of the family as any other, but to be perfectly honest, we have very rarely taken him with us to any eating establishments, even dog friendly ones, the rare exceptions being if we were on holiday with our dog and couldn't leave him. Our dogs have always been very well behaved and no trouble, but I wouldn't choose to take them with us if we were eating out as a matter of course. Under these particular circumstances, however, if I'd been invited out on a countryside walk and knew we were going to be eating at a place which was dog friendly, then yes, I'd probably have taken him with me. A walk without a dog isn't really a walk for me. And if my friends didn't want him there, well then, they're no friends of mine.

Good points Calendargirl and Jabberwock.

Yes I agree, was this the only dog or were there others? Mind you, if there were others, then presumably their owners would have been able to sit together, whilst others sat where they felt comfortable, so no hassle?!