Just wondered what others thought.

Love my grands. Had lots of fun with them. It's a different sort of love.
.

But no g.child can ever take a place of more importance for me than my own children.

So true, Franbern.

I have four children with children themselves. My son and his wife chose not to have any children. I enjoy visits to my daughters and see my g.chldren, but absolutely love visits to and from my son and daughter-in-law - completely and totally child-free.

But then I have never found having g.children the raison d'etre of my existence like so many g.parents.

Happy they are there, as they make my children happy, and anything that does that is good by me. But no g.child can ever take a place of more importance for me than my own children.

This is a bit like being asked which is your favourite child. My daughters are all very different and I love them all differently and for their different needs. They have adult children, teenagers, young children, no children, which makes no difference at all to our relationships.

My late DH and I always found a visit to childless DS and DiL so relaxing after a week looking after beloved GSS. Best of both worlds!

I think the replies on here are not by the grandparents who are "all over" the little ones and who complain of not seeing them enough!

It's definitely true of some grandparents.

MissAdventure

Grandchildren never took priority over my daughter.

I'm not a very child friendly type.

I’m the same. I’ve recently become a great grandmother to a lovely little girl but although I’ve visited, taken gifts had the obligatory photo taken with her I don’t feel the urge to keep popping in to see her, and I’m sure my granddaughter is thankful for that.

It would be more motherly if your friend found some common ground with her quiet son, even if it means simply spending an equal amount of time with him.

My son is 5minutes away so if he's passing he pops in...daily sometimes twice a day .He always calls when he;s in the supermarket to see if we need anything picked up.We have his family every Sunday for dinner .
My daughter lives further away ,she's ill .we visit her a couple of times a week and her children stay with us on at least one weekend a month ,though they call and msg me almost daily about all sorts of stuff .My daughter and I talk every day and chat online off and on throughout the day too .

I spend time when I am asked to!

Do GC become priority? No.

We spend relatively equal time with all 4 daughters, if they bring their children around we visit their children as well.

Nope, I have short sharp visits from self employed son with GC whereas longer stays with childless son who lives much further away and is an employee in very demanding situation. Love and am excited by both of their visits equally but never fail to be amazed at how different in every aspect they are. Just as well I was there at the birth or I might doubt they were related. Fascinating!

We have family events when we all get together, grandchildren or not. Either at our house, their houses or other activities, indoors and out.

I see much more of the couple who are childless. Others are too busy.

I have one child with children and one who has chosen to stay single and not have children.

I do not think we have ever prioritised the family with children over our lovely singleton - and if we has she would soon have told us.

We actually see more of DD. She lives closer and we do different things together. DS lives twice as far and fitting us around 4 people all with busy lives and extra-mural activities, is really difficult.

For me it depends on what mood I am in, sometimes I like the company of just adults, other times I enjoy being with young children.

Grandchildren never took priority over my daughter.

I'm not a very child friendly type.

Yes, I do think grandchildren are a big attraction. I’m sure they love both their sons. But, as you say, the one without children, likes his own company and his parents are respecting it. That’s all. I have 1 daughter and 2 sons. My middle son and his wife are more an “appointment” type of couple. I see them, but not as often as I see my younger son and his family, who are very gregarious and are ‘the more the merrier’ type of couple.
Going with the flow is the best way to go…..

Some grandparents do make their gc a priority, others may not.

Grandparents are often obsessed with young children because they have the best of both worlds. They dont have the day to day responsibility of disciplining and bringing them up but they get the pleasure of seeing them. It was certainly like that with my grandparents.

People who are child free are assumed to be self sufficient and not not need the same level of support.