Jamie Thanks so much for the advice. Age concern are on my list to contact for advice.
I've just got to think of myself as needing help now.
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(71 Posts)MerylStreep Your right about the plates etc., I have used them, but didn't like them.
But things have changed for us and something has to be done to make life easier.
Thanks for the reply.
Namsnanny the fact that you say you couldn't let anyone through the front door shows how badly you need help. I would approach Age UK and your GP. Suppose your husband's accident had involved you as well? Perhaps you should have a personal alarm so you can get help in an emergency.
Curtaintwitcher The truth is I don't feel that confident on my own anymore.
I used to love planning hols. As much as going on them.
But for now I'm just tired, and happy left alone with my craft projects.
Patsy70 Thats very sweet of you. I have to be brutally honest and say, at this moment in time I couldn't let any one through the front door, we are in such a muddle!
Things have crept up on us. Our health has deteriorated and that's made all the difference to our capacity to keep up with things.
Oh BlueBelle No I don't think you're being the least bit unsympathetic.
Yes practical posts do help. For one it shows concern and interest in the oposters (my) pov.
Some times being heard is the most important thing.
Ohh what a day fir you no wonder you need to vent
Just a few practice things which may or may not be helpful
Not sure of your ages or finances but seeing your Gp could be the first strep When my mum and dad got a bit less able a visit to the doctor who arranged a social worker who arranged occupational therapist who helped with all sorts of things that helped them to prevent falls and make life easier chair raisers toilet raiser hand rails wherever they needed them
Can you rearrange the cupboards so there isn’t so far for things to fall etc why buy China if you know it ll be broken the next day get some cheaper stuff could you put some black tape on the edges of shelves and train Mr Nam to akways put things behind the tape line Asda do decent microwaves and would deliver
It’s difficult and that was a tough day or two but if your husbands always been like it haven’t you had things in place to make life easier or have you always cleaned up after him and now it’s getting too hard for you to keep doing it with your bad back and legs ?
Do you have children that could help you rearrange the house
I do understand dyspraxia I have a close family member always bumping into something or other
I hope you don’t think I m being unsympathetic but sometimes practical posts can be helpful too
I can’t believe that you are actually living this awful nightmare. It’s unbelievable. Where are you Namsnanny as I’d love to help you?
Heavens...it's a wonder you are still sane. I felt quite exhausted just reading your post. You sound as though you need a holiday....on your own!
Oh dear.
On a practical note I would be using paper or plastic plates and where needed, wipes. It hurts me to say that as I hate both products. but, needs must when the devil drives.
When you say the microwave only goes for 30 second’s, that’s normal unless you use the timer. If you can’t work out the timer just work out how many 30 secs in the time you want and press the button that many times.
Are you financially able to get help in? You really really need it.
But I think you know that ?
You are living an absolute nightmare Namsnanny and need help! If it helps you offload on Gransnet that is good, so keep doing it, but in the meantime you should seek professional advice via your GP, Age UK or other relevant charitable organisations. Support is there for you. ?
Namsnanny So very sorry to hear about all your troubles.I am not surprised that you feel fed up.
Would having a cleaner help at all?
Perhaps Age Concern could offer some advice.
I really hope things improve for you soon.x 
Oh my goodness Namsnanny. I wish I could give you a cuddle. I'm not surprised you cried. It all sounds very overwhelming for you. I hope your rant makes you feel better. ?
Namsnanny No wonder you are fed up. I feel so sorry for you. I don't know how you cope with this. I think my OH would be long banished from the kitchen. Is there no way you can persuade him nicely not to go in?
I'm sure the arm injury really frightened you. You managed it all very well.
You sound like you could do with a break. Is that possible? Are you getting all the help you can? Have you family to help?
Silverlining48 is right. You could appeal the parking ticket. I have done this.
I hope you get the hob microwave etc sorted soon.
Sending hugs and ?
Oh Namsnanny, what an awful situation. I can only send you lots of ? and
… the poor man can’t help himself. You must live him dearly, or you wouldn’t still be with him.
Namsnanny, oh my!! Just sending some sympathy and wishing it could be a helping hand
.
Oh Namsnanny that was an absolute litany of mishaps. His and yours. And some more serious than others. No wonder you cried and felt worn out. As you’ve said writing it all down has helped so I’m glad and happy for you that you’ve shared your upset and frustration. No answers really as over the years you’d have thought of them by now. Just a big virtual hug lady from me!
?
In the past, not last ...
Might be worth appealing the parking ticket, the circumstances were understandable. I have done this in the last and been successful.
Otherwise writing it down may help but I do sympathise.
Do you have support from friends /family. Sounds like you need it. 
Oh dear it’s no wonder you are feeling tired and fed up Namsnanny. I’m exhausted just reading of your trials and tribulations. I hope life improves soon for you. ?
I'm tired and fed up so please feel free to switch over now if a moaning mini is going to get your goat 
I cant stand for very long (back and knee) or hold heavy things like a kettle or saucepan.
My H suffers with dyspraxia (among other things). So we try to do the chores etc. between us. After a fashion.
His dyspraxia, means he drops items or bumps into things, or trips over stuff etc., with regularity.
So I'm constantly going around preempting an accident by picking things off the floor, or putting things away as he leaves anything where ever.
But curiously in very precarious places. Such as china or glass on the edge of work surfaces, and shelves. It's common for a mug to fall out of a cupboard when the door is opened. The times I've caught a glass because he has misjudged the work surface and placed it only just on it.
Or he leaves his tools on the edge of the steps outside.
Then trips up and cuts him self on them.
I buy china mugs one week and glasses the next. To replace breakages. The same with plates.
I have bought tin mugs and plastic glasses, but neither of us likes using them.
Not a day goes by without he hasn't broken something.
Or hurt himself.
Jars of sauce, jam, all kinds, accidentally dropped on the floor. Yoghurt, milk, orange juice constantly sloshed over the fridge. Sometimes resulting in one of us slipping on the wet patch.
In a normal house things happen. This is everyday. Sometimes more than once.
It's so wearing.
If he tries to clean it up himself, his dyspraxia means he just drops and breaks other things, making it all more difficult.
So, it's easier if I do it.
But only if he tells me about it. He has a habit of 'leaving it till later' resulting in the afore mentioned slip!
I had nightmares when the children were young, and he was the cause of many an accident. Thankfully not serious.
But I think he maybe worse now.
Until you have lived with someone like this, who lives in their own world and isn't even able to see the outcome of their actions.
It's impossible to really explain.
I'm exhausted trying to prevent things from getting out of control.
And he does hurt himself constantly.
He hit the jackpot a couple of weeks ago. He fell when pulling the curtains, into a piece of expensive antique furniture. Hurting himself quite badly and breaking the furniture beyond repair.
It was such a worry. He was bleeding badly. I had to take him to A & E which was such a palava.
Just getting shoes on the two of us, was hard enough.
Let alone wrapping him up so he didnt bleed to death on the way.
I couldn't phone for an ambulance as he had used the land line in the garden and lost it. Which is normal for him.
He then ran the mobile (we share) battery down. So it was inoperable.
I got to hospital, but had to help him into A&E, so I dumped the car in a disabled bay because it was the closest empty spot.
By now he was covered in blood. His shirt was running with it.
I was so afraid he would faint and I wouldn't be able to get him inside in time.
Having got him some attention, I went back to the car and moved it to the next available space. Which was a good 15 min walk away.
It was pouring with rain and my shoes hurt so I took them off to enable me to walk better.
Anyway we spent a good 12 hours waiting for plastic surgeon, xray, etc., etc., Eventually he was stitched up and we were sent home.
Thankfully although it was a bad cut through an artery in his arm, it seems to be healing quite well.
The house is another matter. As I said he damaged an artery when he fell and blood was everywhere. I've never seen so much. It look like a horror film.
I said to H today his timing was good, if he'd had the same accident this week, people would have thought it was a Halloween prank
I think the curtains are ruined. Possibly the chair nearby as well.
I spent 4 hours (crying all the while with exhaustion - what a sight I was. Snotty, bleary, still bloody and feeling sorry for myself
), when we came home from A&E cleaning up the floor and walls that were splashed. It's still visible in places after a few cleans.
By the way I now have a parking ticket. But I suppose thats the least of it.
I'm (we're) getting too tired to cope well with all these situations.
The stress of trying to prevent any accidents is getting quite unbearable.
The only way to prevent accidents is to be orderly. Clear floors, worksurfaces, stairs etc.
Have things that work and dont require make do and mend.
But at the present time some of the things that make everyday life problematic are
1) The sink is broken. So washing up involves filling a plastic bowl then emptying it elsewhere.
We have been waiting (2 weeks) for the plumber.
I'm washing up the easy things in a dribble of water, so as not to have a full heavy bowl to empty.
2) The expensive tap we had installed to save me from lifting a kettle has packed up for the 2nd time
3)The microwave only stays on for a 30second blitz. So it's almost impossible to live off ready meals.
4) The glass hob doesnt respond to pressing the mark which turns it on, every time.
But came on last night after my H left a plastic tray on it (why?)
The smell of burnt plastic is awful, even with the doors open all day today.
Not withstanding what could have happened.
I've never managed to get through to H about not putting things on the hob when it's supposed to be off.
So I will have to remember to check it before bed or the house will burn down next time.
Well, I'll sign off from whinging for now, because writing all this down has actually cheered me up a bit 
A problem shared etc...
Thanks for the chance to spill the beans... (Oh no thats what were having to eat tonight, I'd better not tempt fate or knowing my H's luck, they will explode all over the inside of the microwave
)
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