It is a very complex issue. I was probably too young when I had mine, I don't know. But I think many of us will agree that waiting to be in your 40s is probably not a good idea, in most cases.
Having mine in my very early 20s meant I could be at home with them, and supporting my OH's career, and still be young enough to go and study for a Degree in my early 30s and have a full career ahead of me.
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The best age to start a family?
(56 Posts)Nowadays ,with rising costs, some couples are waiting much longer before they have children. It wasn’t unusual to have children very young when we married. I can see advantages both ways. - energy being the obvious one when you are young yourself and the ability to get down and really play ( and the desire to ). On the other hand you have more stability and a higher living standard when you are a bit older. One of my grandchildren had a baby at a very young age and she said she couldn’t find anything in common with many of the other mums she met, they were too ‘old’. Another daughter waited until she was almost 40 and she is a different sort of mum, a lot wiser but perhaps a bit more fussy .
Married at 29 (prior getting married I had great fun!)
Had my 1st one when I was 33 second one at 37.
I was ready then to be a Mum.
Career sorted, financially stable. nice home.
I was able to work 3 days a week in a career I still undertake.
I didn't have any girl friends who had babies in their early 20's, we all had ours in our 30's.
It really depends on your circumstances.
My fantasy land guesstimate would be to start at 25. This gives reasonable chances for longish grandparenting down the line as well as many other opportunities.
Mine never arrived to plan!
I used to wonder how people could decide it was time to have a baby and immediately get pregnant to order.
Early 20s for me and for my DD .....but whatever works for you is just fone
Physically the best age is in your 20s that has not changed, a couple of years either side does not really make a difference. Its not that simple because women have careers and all sorts of other lifestyle choices they make.
I had mine in my 20s and continued a Nursing career straight through, it’s possible to do the same today in many careers, probably more difficult with careers where 5 day 9-5 routine is expected.
I was 17 with our first daughter, late 30s with our last.
I was about 40 with first GC, near 60 with first GGC.
Although I can understand the reasons why, those women who wait until their late thirties or early forties to start a family are taking a huge gamble as it’s well publicised that our fertility drops sharply by the mid thirties and continues to tail off.
Obviously there are many reasons to delay, finding the right man for a start, but I do fear that lots of women, even those who have found ‘the one’ prioritise their career only to find that they’ve leftover it too late for motherhood.
It must be heartbreaking.
Kirsty Alsopp has been quoted as saying that women should start their families in their twenties to avoid the heartbreak of missing out, and I agree, although of course it’s not always that simple.
First in late 20s (higher ed and career established), 2nd mid-30s.
DGD arrived as I was retiring.
It is as long as a piece of string. I come from a maternal line that have tended to marry late, relative to the times they lived in, and have children in their late 20s - 30s.
It suited me, I wanted to get my career established before I gave up work, as I had to in my era (early 1970s). I am also happy that I was not a grandparent until my mid 60s. I have been just as fit as younger grandparents to do all the strenuous things that grandparents seem expected to do these days and haven't had to juggle grandchildren and DH and I still working, especially as my grand children live 200 miles away.
But each chooses what best suits them and having children relatively late has served my family well for several generations.
I meant to add I was thirty one.
One of my grandchildren has 3 babies and she is only 21. I have to envy her her 30 minute labours but not the hard work for her and her husband! None of her little ones are good sleepers but luckily my daughter is a really hands on grandma and only in her early 40 s.
Physically it's probably better to have a baby in your 20s.
I married at 26 had a full time job I enjoyed bought our first house I was happy doing well.
Out of the blue Mother Nature hit me I was desperate for a baby. Family and friends around me seemed to get pregnant easily some were not happy.
I was very concerned the only help I got at the time was temperature charts. Three years later after spending the whole pregnancy in an antenatal ward my precious son was born. I don’t think there is a best age it happens when it does.
Women who want to have a large family can have their first baby in their teens and the last one in their 40s. Any age is the ideal age for an individual.
No particular age; everyone's circumstances are different.
It would seem a good idea to be financially established at least, but love takes over and babies arrive, whenever.
I was 22 and my husband 26 when we had our first son.
I think we all think the age we were when we had our own children was the right age!
23 an my husband was 24. It was the done thing then and looking back was absolutely right for us. We had plenty of energy for the children, for saving and make do and mend, for pets and for hobbies like walking and camping. I would not have changed anything, I was also able to study further for more qualifications. Having the children early did not really impact my career, it did impact my pension but so be it
Then they they went to uni and started their own careers and afterwards we were young enough to save for old age, while having couple time and a few exotic holidays. Now enjoying a good rapport with teenage grandchildren
We were married for 2 years then had our first daughter when I was 20, my Mum was 30 when she had me and I wanted to have ours when we were young. But MzOops was 30 when she had our GCs who are now almost 19 and 17, it was hoped that we could enjoy life when MrOops retired, but he worked on until he was 70 and due to MissOops ill health we haven’t enjoyed it that much!
Still mustn’t grumble! They were and are a constant delight and although we were so hard up back then I wouldn’t change anything.
I had my child young. I'm glad I did, because I'm a young granny to my DGS. My (much older) bloke had his late. He was a long way into retirement with still dependent children. Definitely not a good thing, emotionally, energy wise or finanacially.
There's a reason infertility is an issue now. Many women are losing their fertility by their very late 30s/40s.
I really like the Chinese system. Couples have their children young. By mid-20s. Grandparents retire in mid-50s and do the childcare. Strong family bonds. Parents can work.
I had my first child when I was 21. We had already been married for 4 years. All of that would be very unusual today. I went to university when my youngest started school and had a successful and busy career. I’m pleased that I was a relatively young grandmother who can take the children for day’s out. DS is in his late forties and still has three young children. When I was that age, my children had already finished university. But there is no right age, it depends on meeting the right person and having the finances.
I had my three when I was 23, 26 and just 30. iItwas still usual in the 70s early 80s
Eldest DD had her one son at the age of 24 which made me a fairly young Grandmother of 48.
Our other two DGSs were born when DD3 was 32 and 37. She lost three babies in between.
I was happy to have mychildren whenI did but circumstances are different for everyone.
Speaking as Grandmother I certainly had more energy when DGS1 was small ( now 20) than I do now with the two who are 6 and 18 months.
I am working on my family tree and am constantly amazed at just how many children my ancestors had and mostly lived to a good age.
Today so many women, by putting off having children, end up having to get assistance to start their families.
I think it is clear that our race was meant to have children early so I suggest mid twenties as being possibly the best time
There’s no right or wrong age. I had my children early - the first born when I was twenty one. By the time they had completed their education and flown the nest, we still had plenty of physical and mental energy. I was born late to parents who thought their child rearing days were finished and they had run out of both! DD had our grandson when she was in her mid thirties, and many of her friends did the same, choosing to settle career and housing ladder issues in advance of any children. Autres temps, autres moeurs.
I’m happy I had my children early now I have wonderful grown up GC having had many happy times with them as they grew and now I’ve less energy I am enjoying time and making memories with Great GC.
But each to their own timetable and circumstance.
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