Just for a laugh

I love my MIL. She's lovely, although fading now, with dementia and is in a care home.

One of the first times I met her, we were at their house for the weekend (they live about 200 miles away).

Just before serving dinner, she said to me "I hope you don't mind a bit of good old Yorkshire bluntness, but I've got "good" dinner china, but I'm not getting it out for you".

I realised that I was being accepted as family, and not someone they had to put airs on for.

Another time she made me smile was when I was serving dinner to my children. I had made the food into a funny face on the plate.

MIL took one look, and said in an incredulous tone - "aren't you a good mother " 😆 🤣

I couldn't take offence as I knew what she meant.

I do miss the person she was 😞

My MiL was the best and I’ve tried to remember that with my DiL (who is also the best). I was very gratified when she messaged me one day from work to say that everyone was slagging off their MiLs and she couldn’t join in! How fortunate am I. And truly grateful.

My much loved MiL told me several years down the line that she had decided to love whoever her precious only son married. I don’t think she meant “even you”! I certainly never saw DH’s love as something to be competed for. She too was a blunt Yorkshire woman who was often less than tactful but took the resulting teasing in good part.

Oh Yammy, you made me laugh out loud.

I only had a MIL for the very short time in my mid 20s when I was married. We detested one another and made no secret of it.

At our first meeting she asked "Who are your people? What do they do?" in a sickly tone.

My response was "Why is this important to you?"

When I first met my MiL in the 1970s I had a pink outfit from M&S which nowadays would be regarded as lounge wear. She remarked, “I had a siren suit like that during the war.” Her gaffs were innumerable and legendary, some becoming family mantras. I wish I could recount them but it would out her.
As a MiL I know I’ve made ill-judged remarks on occasion, in fact I still wince about one in particular. It goes with the territory!
How lovely to have a light-hearted thread. Let’s not overthink, overanalyse or police it.

Was it the sense of humour, somewhat different back in the day?

Am I saying that as a MIL?

Looking through photos with my lovely late MIL, my OH said "you look just like xxx [someone famous] in that photo". MIL's response was "oh, but xxx is beautiful"!!!
We teased her for years and she took it in good grace!

Just remembered this one: after we’d booked our Reg office wedding, I found what I thought was a lovely dress in a Brides magazine, bought the pattern and pretty floral material and made it - all hand sewn, I had no sewing machine then.

When I showed it to my mother, she said, ‘Hmm, it looks like an old-fashioned nightie.’

Which of course put me right off it, but to be fair, she was largely right - it was in a sort of Laura Ashley milkmaid style IYKWIM, square neck, Empire line, and really did nothing for my (then!) size 10 figure.

I eventually found something much more fitted and flattering, but the ‘nightie’ dress did have its moment of glory after all. I joined dh in Oman a month after the wedding and took the dress anyway, and it wasn’t long before a woman I knew slightly came to ask whether I had anything she could possibly borrow to wear to a big do at the palace with the Sultan - it had to be long, with long sleeves. Bingo!

I later also wore it at a similar sort of do when about 6 months pregnant!

Visiting my MIL once she offered me a free sample that she had been given. It was Tena Lady! I was only 30 and thank goodness I have never had any trouble that way.

MawtheMerrier, I was very lucky in my MiL, too, and so is my dd, but evidently quite a lot of people aren’t, so I don’t see why they shouldn’t have a moan about them.

One particular MiL-moan I remember (from MN) concerned ILs who supposedly just came to feed the cat while DiL and family were away.

While there, the MiL took it upon herself to go into her son and DiL’s bedroom, rummage around, and collect up and throw out a lot of cherished books from DiL’s childhood, plus a lot of memorabilia - photos and so on. All taken away by the bin men before they returned.

Of course, she was ‘Only trying to help with a bit of decluttering’ and cried and played the victim, when it was made plain to her that such behaviour was completely unacceptable.

My own mum was like that. When I got a new coat and tried it on for her she said "it makes you look bigger than ever". I was a size 14! Another time she mentioned about my old friend becoming a teacher. She said "he only went to your school". In other words, we didn't go to grammar school. Despite this I loved her dearly.

Both my mother and her sister were past masters of the disapproving comment.

Neither of them intended to be amusing with it, nor were they.

I have taken great care in my adult life to engage my brain before opening my mouth, so as not to end up like them.

I really admire those of you who are big enough to find these remarks and actions mentioned here funny. My sister and I were hurt by them to the point of feeling like throwing clothes we had just bought straight into the bin. We didn't, we kept them and wore them when we knew we would not be seeing family.

My MIL didn't like me either. From the outset it was clear how their family dynamic worked.........husband went out to work......wife stays at home.........son starts work.........wife does all the cooking cleaning laundry shopping mending gardening.........whilst husband and son sit and do nothing at home - because they go out to work.
I married son........and despite also working full-time was expected to follow her example and wait on my OH hand and foot - I was such a bad DIL because hr son had to wait for his dinner when he finished work before I did! TOUGH!

Not MIL but the best foot in mouth I came across midway through a nasty divorce from my abusive and multiply adulterous husband.A lady who knew us both on hearing that I was divorcing him said "oh,poor Andy,he's never had much luck with women." She then looked absolutely mortified by what she had just said.

My MIL was always asking "Are you on the change yet?" I loved her to bits though.

My MIL was a tough cookie. But I later understood why she had to be. And yes, her tongue was sharp! She was exactly the same height as me, but she would remarks like 'of course my legs are much longer' and other times 'of course my torso is much longer'. One day I did smile and say 'look Kay, we are both 5'3, so either your legs are longer, and your torso shorter, or t'other way round', but they can't both be longer'. She gave me the look, but never said it again.

She told one German girl who was staying with us on an exchange, who had cut her hair very short on one side, and long on the other- and like baggy jeans and dark nail varnish (and she was very pretty and fun) 'why do young people like to make themselves deliberately so ugly'. She was quite something!

She likes to 'test' the kids. One Christmas, she gave them 1 envelop each- the oldest one with a fiver, and the youngest with a tenner and stood there, watching for a reaction. They both smiled and said thank you- and only told me afterwards.

My Mil was lovely on the whole but when we were first married and for quite some time afterwards she would send round bits of baking, pies etc. in case her dear son went hungry. I’m sure my son and Dil have the odd joke about me but that’s fine with me,

GagaJo

My mother in law hated me. Until her DS and I were divorced and he remarried. Then she decided I was wonderful and it was the new wife she hated.

Similar to me. My Mil knew my family and always threatened to tell my mother if I confronted her. It came to a head when BIL arrived with his wife-to-be, I suddenly grew wings and a hallo, unfortunately, she had done it once too often and we had moved away.
She still tried though, my baby had something wrong with their hip and wore a splint, she would not let us visit until it was removed "Incase the neighbours saw it". She also told me after a very difficult C-section, that if Darwin's theory was right I should have died and not passed the defect on.
I couldn't stop myself post-natal and still highly unsettled I reminded her that she had had a c-section because the cord was around the baby's neck, perhaps it should have been around hers and worked.

Never had a MiL or a FiL, Mr. B lost his parents at a young age.

Oh yes, meant to be light-hearted, sorry. Well, as a result of my mother-in-laws deafness we had some hilarious misunderstandings in our conversations, of course. I wish I could remember some of them now. She died many years ago.

Light hearted? 🤔🤔🤔
I loved my MIL as did my late DH and if I could be the Granny she was to my children, I would be proud.
I am really uncomfortable pursuing the MIL stereotype.
Most of us are MILs - would we be happy to read comments such as these on Mumsnet?
Lighthearted- really?
Mocking- possibly
Unkind- maybe

My mother-in-law was fine, we never fell out. But unfortunately she was completely deaf and wouldn't wear her hearing aid, so it was hard to have a real conversation with her.
I never felt I knew her properly.

My mother in law hated me. Until her DS and I were divorced and he remarried. Then she decided I was wonderful and it was the new wife she hated.

My MIL was lovely. She’d do anything for me except get on the ferry to come and see us. Not even a new baby changed that. When we moved, she’d come to stay, bringing home-cooked food parcels and immediately get the hoover out, even though everything was pristine for her visit.
I was offended at first, but DH just said, “She likes doing it. Don’t sit still too long or she’ll dust you too.”