Am I old fashioned?

My mum believed in spare the rod and spoil the child. These days she would probably have been in a lot of trouble and rightly so.

We were fairly strict with our 4. We had to be or it would have been chaos
One reason we moved away from the neighbourhood was that the kids in the street would be out on their trikes late in the evening some only 2yrs old and parents shouted "instructions" out windows.
I think I was considered a snob

DGC are all well behaved and confident.

I read about teachers unable to teach for fear of violence. I hope this is rare.

stella1949

I was brought up very strictly, and learner to fear my mother. I grew up totally lacking any self confidence. I brought up my children in the opposite way, very relaxed and treating them more as friends. My two are in their 40's now, very successful in their careers and relationships.

I guess what I'm saying is that your manner of child rearing doesn't guarantee any particular outcome - like most things in life there are many possibilities.

Same here. But I read of so much anti social behaviour, it makes me wonder how standards have slipped. For example, no thanks for presents given to at least 3 younger members of my family, whereas in the past, my children had to write thank you notes for birthday and Christmas gifts.

I think I was quite strict for the early years, and then found I didn’t have to be, they were all good children, and until they hit the teen years, they needed very little discipline.
Trouble is their adult lives haven’t gone smoothly, and we are still picking up the pieces of broken relationships, so there we were congratulating ourselves on a job well done, and that was when the problems started.

My mother was not very approachable and my father did what she wanted. Therefore I was always afraid to antagonise her so let many opportunities and one great love pass me by. My children, thankfully are able to come to DH and me with most any problem and their children to them. I am so thankful for that. Old fashioned ? I have no idea

I was brought up very strictly, and learner to fear my mother. I grew up totally lacking any self confidence. I brought up my children in the opposite way, very relaxed and treating them more as friends. My two are in their 40's now, very successful in their careers and relationships.

I guess what I'm saying is that your manner of child rearing doesn't guarantee any particular outcome - like most things in life there are many possibilities.

MerylStreep

Anyone who uses the words trenchant views in regard to raising children give me the chills.

Why?

Anyone who uses the words trenchant views in regard to raising children give me the chills.

My mother really wasn't keen on children so I was expected to keep quiet and not ask questions. She liked me much better when I was older. When I was 10 we went to live with my grandmother. I really saw very little of her. She rarely went out and spent a lot of time being "old". I looked after my first grandson 5 days a week when he was a baby and now he's 16 and over 6 feet I still get a hug from him. That would never have happened with my grandmother.

I'm glad we don't have to ponder about how our daughters raise theirs. We're done raising, old fashioned or not.

I think you have to try to find that balance between setting boundaries and teaching them right from wrong, yet still allowing them to develop into individuals with a sense of their own worth. You have to learn to let them make their own mistakes too, while always being ready to step in and offer support when necessary.

I wasn’t brought up strictly but I think I was pretty easy as I always had a strong feeling of right and wrong
I brought my children up to know right from wrong and to have more freedom to explore more than I did and more opportunities They have all done the same with their children who all have much more confidence and ability than I had and. Million times more opportunities they re all responsible young people 6 out of 7 of them work in a variety of occupations all with good futures and the last one is in her last two years at school and has her head well and truely screwed on None have ever been in trouble

I was brought up in the old "seen and not heard" style even by my grandmother whom I adored. It was very much their house, their rules understanding. However my grandmother understood that as young people grow into their teens and begin work then you must gradually give them more autonomy and responsibility because they are making a contribution to the community. Whereas my parents just saw me as a teenage cash machine. I was there so contribute to the family pot, but had no say in how the home was run even at 18.

I am old-fashioned - how could I not be, at my age? I don't push my views on anyone but am happy to be asked about my experiences or opinions. Society changes and we should expect that.

Spot on Prentice. Children push the boundaries and will do whatever you allow them to do. And it's really not easy to tighten those boundaries once you've allowed them to be loose. You have to start from babyhood the way you mean to go on, explaining your reasoning all the way. By the time they start school they will have started to understand why they can't do whatever they want.

I suppose that I was a fairly strict parent Antonia but tempered that with love for my children, which they knew.
They grew up to be well mannered and considerate people.
I think the lax style of parenting comes back to bite the parent to be honest.Or the teacher who has an unruly class or the policeman who receives no respect from them.
We reap what we sow.

It isn't easy getting the balance right between raising confident children and those that overstep the mark.

There is a certain change in child rearing, as it happens every generation

In my case, i was raised in a very authoritative home without a voice or opinions, "seen and not heard"

Now, I am teaching my kids to find themselves, make their own decisions while I am still the parent

For example - what would you like for dinner/lunch
What would you like to do this weekend, etc