Self care and self neglect

Prentice

I quite enjoy ironing
My DD informed me many years ago that she did no ironing whatsoever and she still maintains that view. The strange thing is that you cannot tell as she always looks to be well dressed.

Me too exactly the same

What is the best headdress for women with thinning hair?

I'd go for a style with some height to it, such as a well tied turban. I'd also like floaty bits at the side hangin down from the side of the turban. These take some practice in learning to tie them however I bet you can buy them already made up if you have to do so.

I think maybe a good material to use for a head tie would be fine floaty viscose as it washes and dries easily. (Silk is nice but it make creaky noises and needs ironing.)

Self care is regular hair cuts colour
Regular Podiatry
Regular nails manicure and polish
Regular showers and dressing nice wearing perfume to feel good for yourself taking time to do something you like, visit the cinema, go for a meal with girlfriends etc
This is all Self Care sometimes looking at a pile of ironing and thinking No I'm going for some retail therapy that will still be there when I'm 6 foot under lol 😆

I spoke to a therapist recently who said I needed to treat myself as if I was one of my children

Kate1949 I thought you said in a previous thread that you had a “hair weave system”.
Apologies if it wasn’t you.

I won't say I enjoy ironing. I do though find it soothing once I get started. All bedding is ironed, just hate seeing a freshly made bed with creases on the cover etc. Self care to me is treating myself to flights to see family, going to clubs,choir. I'm not a nail polish, facial type of person but understand for others great comfort is derived from such activities.

stella1949

I don't think I'd use ironing as an example. Surely you do whatever ironing needs to be done, whether yours or other people's.

For self care, I like giving myself a manicure and pedicure once a week, and always use pretty shades of nail polish. I take care of my skin every day. See the doctor once a month and take his good advice about any health issues. For my mind I read and do crossword puzzles, and go to see good films. Write to friends , call them, see them for coffee.

I can't think of any examples of self neglect - it's not something which happens in my life. I'm aware of how precious so I try to make the most of life.

"See the doctor, once a month"

Wherever do you live ?

Thank you Blondiescot.

Kate1949 I know 'there's always someone else worse off', but that doesn't diminish what you are going through or how you are feeling.

My poor mum suffered from alopecia which played a large part in her being agoraphobic for more than 10 years. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like, but witnessed the affect it had on her.

Thank you Blondiescot. I don't think my last post was very well written! What I meant was, I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. The same as I wouldn't understand things that others have gone through if I hadn't experienced it. Most people have been lovely and empathetic which is great. As I said there are far worse things. I've just been served in a shop by a man with the most awful skin condition on his face, head and neck. If he can get on with it, so can I

Kate1949

I don't really blame people for being, what I feel is insensitive. How would they possibly know what it feels like? Just as I wouldn't know what it's like to have say, cancer. My husband has cancer (in remission) and I know what he's been through but can't possibly know how it feels. My mum had severe hair loss. It's only since it's happened to me that I realise how she must have felt. To me she was just 'mum'. I hope that makes sense. Sorry to take over the thread.

I would never presume to know what it feels like to lose your hair. I have had friends who have lost their hair through cancer treatment and they have all said that losing their hair was the worst part of the whole thing. One friend had the most fabulous wig which looked amazing on her, but another couldn't get on with wigs at all and ended up just wearing scarves or hats to try to cover her head. I do remember feeling that there was very little I could say to her, as I had no idea how I would feel under those cirumstances. I hope this doesn't come across as patronising in any way. I'm just trying to say that while I can't possibly know how it feels to lose your hair, I do understand that it can be incredibly traumatic - and it's never 'just hair'.

VioletSky

Kate if it helps in any way my hair is also now very thin. It hasn't recovered after thyroid issues. I've cried over my hairbrush many times and the problem is getting worse. I've had to cut so much off the length and when the end of my pony tail becomes thinner and thinner it is a bit soul destroying. My only saving grace is that it's curly enough to hide it a little

You are still beautiful and you deserve to love yourself

.

I don't really blame people for being, what I feel is insensitive. How would they possibly know what it feels like? Just as I wouldn't know what it's like to have say, cancer. My husband has cancer (in remission) and I know what he's been through but can't possibly know how it feels. My mum had severe hair loss. It's only since it's happened to me that I realise how she must have felt. To me she was just 'mum'. I hope that makes sense. Sorry to take over the thread.

To all who have thinning hair or have lost it altogether, my commiserations, for both men and women, but particularly women, our hair is part of who we are and is hard to lose it.
My friend who lost hers due to cancer treatment, wears a wig for special occasions but a colourful scarf wrapped around for everyday.You can buy all cotton ones for comfort.

VioletSky

Rosie

I said up thread that I am suffering ongoing hair loss myself after thyroid issues and I also mentioned my receding temples

I'm sorry for your issues I truly am but I'm not going to allow this to get personal here

eh? I wish my only hair loss was temples, but can't see where the 'personal' bit comes from. I know you don't like me, but would have hoped my hairloss distress would at least have prevented you from addressing me personally. It really affects me every day as I'm sure other hair loss survivors can confirm

Rosie

I said up thread that I am suffering ongoing hair loss myself after thyroid issues and I also mentioned my receding temples

I'm sorry for your issues I truly am but I'm not going to allow this to get personal here

That's the difference.Those of us with hair loss live in the real world that judges us, those that live in an idealised world can wax lyrical on how things should be..... and never the twain shall meet. I don't know about others but I feel patronised and discounted by those who say hair loss doesn't really matter.

I wish I had the right words to confirm those with hair loss.

Society gets so much wrong sometimes and places so much pressure on women to look certain ways.

For me, being not neurotypical, while I can recognise what is considered beautiful, it's not in any way my priority.

For me everything about beauty shines out from the inside and thats how I see attractive.

Obviously doesn't work on myself

But I don't notice haircuts or more or less makeup easily and I don't make much eye contact anyway..

I wish it were that way for everyone because I sometimes feel, if beauty all came from within, we'd all work so much harder to be kind

MissAdventure

It always seems like it would be fun to wear wigs in different styles and colours, but it's really not, when you know how it look underneath, or that its itchy, sweaty, or about to slip off.

You wouldn't believe the hours I spent in the Ladies loos trying to reach a happy medium between security and not looking like there was a big arrow above my head saying 'wig, wig, wig '

Kate1949

Yes Rosie. Reading your story, hair loss is the least of it. No you haven't been insensitive but have made me feel grateful. Good luck to you.

There are so many on this forum that are insensitive to others ( mostly through ignorance to be fair), I just want to say thank you, and I wish the very best to you. You truly are an example of the best we can hope to be. ❤️

valdali

I know exactly what you mean by self-neglect Violet sky. When I'm portioning out food I always serve myself any dry bits & give the others extra sauce or yummy bits.I do like wearing cotton /linen shirts so need to iron those, but most things I will iron for the others but shake'n fold for mine. Self care- when I'm really tired I will stop although there's still a million things to do, & sit in the garden or play fetch with the dog or read a few pages before getting back to it.

Yes!

Little things so add up

I used to always spend money I was given at birthdays and Christmas on the children and I did manage to stop that one recently.

Yes Rosie. Reading your story, hair loss is the least of it. No you haven't been insensitive but have made me feel grateful. Good luck to you.

biglouis Really? You feel like shaving it off? Wow. Try not having it.

Kate1949 thank you, you are so very kind. I dread being completely bald, but I really hope I've not been insensitive to you. I've had three different cancers, my latest oncologist can't tell me how I survived the last, he says it defies all knowledge of how cancer works. Hair loss is hair loss ,it doesn't matter the cause, we all suffer the sadness, hopelessness, the embarrassment. We should unite, bald women are still women and we're still beautiful! Women are strong, let's celebrate that ❤️