Self care and self neglect

Since I lost my hair I struggle to care anymore. Yes I know worse things happen.

I don't think I'd use ironing as an example. Surely you do whatever ironing needs to be done, whether yours or other people's.

For self care, I like giving myself a manicure and pedicure once a week, and always use pretty shades of nail polish. I take care of my skin every day. See the doctor once a month and take his good advice about any health issues. For my mind I read and do crossword puzzles, and go to see good films. Write to friends , call them, see them for coffee.

I can't think of any examples of self neglect - it's not something which happens in my life. I'm aware of how precious so I try to make the most of life.

Does the doctor ask you to see him/her once a month Stella? It seems a lot to me but obviously if your doctor asks to go to see him/her once a month it is necessary.

I just wonder how many little things there are that add up, the ironing thing made wonder even if it isn't the best example

Well as their is a fresh shirt for DH each day and 3 school uniforms to wash and iron, plus bed linens and assorted other items that need ironing, I'd expect their to be more of their stuff than my own but that doesn't mean that I'm "neglecting myself", it's just a fact of life. Maybe getting your OH to pitch in with the house work would help with your self care? For my own sanity I do a weekly yoga session and zumba class. DH and I share household chores and child care and that means that we can both enjoy hobbies and interests that fortifies us. Not doing that is self neglect imho.

Vs

I understand the ironing example

Small tasks end up adding up to a lot

I do dedicate time to activities I enjoy daily, even if its 15-30 min.
I also now prioritize my to do list and if the sky is not falling if something doesnt get done, it can wait till tomorrow morning

Our daughter was very ill last year and it was frightening so much so I couldn’t eat properly. Mainly because it was out of my hands and I couldn’t help her I felt useless. No it does not sound daft we do need to self care in times of need otherwise we can easily neglect ourselves.

I think mum's especially neglect themselves

Yes, I think many Mums neglect themselves whilst putting the family first, I know that I did, once upon a time.
It is twenty years since I retired and the difference that makes!
There is always some ‘me’ time now and I make full use of it.

They always say to follow the advice on planes don’t they? Put your own oxygen mask on first!

Well, I did a very careful job of ironing my dresses and I feel better for it lol

I quite enjoy ironing
My DD informed me many years ago that she did no ironing whatsoever and she still maintains that view. The strange thing is that you cannot tell as she always looks to be well dressed.

What is ironing please??!!!!

I like ironing as I can watch TV while doing it

Not ironing is definitely a valid life choice and possibly a level of self care I would aspire too if I didn't like it

I only iron about 2 sweaters and occasionally a duvet.

Kate1949

Since I lost my hair I struggle to care anymore. Yes I know worse things happen.

I’m sorry you have lost your hair. I know how you feel about not caring any more, yes worse things happen but that doesn’t stop you feeling as you do. Mine has started thinning again and despite trying not to worry about it (and telling myself there are worse things) it still makes me depressed.

It's not easy is it nandad? I feel bad whinging when there is so much worse! I hope your hair improves.

Kate if it helps in any way my hair is also now very thin. It hasn't recovered after thyroid issues. I've cried over my hairbrush many times and the problem is getting worse. I've had to cut so much off the length and when the end of my pony tail becomes thinner and thinner it is a bit soul destroying. My only saving grace is that it's curly enough to hide it a little

You are still beautiful and you deserve to love yourself

Thank you VioletSky. I won't make this thread about me again. I don't feel remotely beautiful but you're very kind.

I’m a little confused about the concept. I consider ironing as housework, but the basic “self care” I do is showering, cleaning my teeth, washing my hair and visiting the hair dresser occasionally.
Is self care what is referred to a “pampering”. If so I don’t do that stuff?

Self care to me is eating well, getting plenty of sleep and a walk in the fresh air every day. If I can keep that up as well as my hobbies and seeing family and friends I feel I will be fine.

I'm very good at the self neglect part - not so good when it comes to self care. It just never seems to be a priority for me. Oh, and I genuinely can't remember the last time I ever ironed anything!

To me self-neglect is when you start washing/showering less frequently, wear dirty, stained clothes, don't eat proper meals etc. I realise it would be easy to slip into poor habits as one gets older.

O think self neglect is treating yourself in any way as having less value than others.

I've had mental health wobbles all my life and so sometimes it's small things and sometimes big things

In the pursuit of happiness and good physical and mental health (or as good as it can be if like me you have long term health issues) little things add up