Grandmother's rules.

Sadly my mum's mum, died when she was only 8. My dad's mum, I think I remember visiting once. They lived in London and mum and dad had moved to the ends of the earth. Hounslow!
I was born 8 or 9 years after they married, but, my wonderful, maternal grandad, lived with us for several years. He loved us unconditionally, and my little brother was his shadow.

Not many rules at mine apart from stay on your chair at mealtimes (DGS likes to move into someone’s lap…!)and don’t touch stuff in shops. Preferably don’t squabble …. But basically they’re such goods kids and very caring to not very well granny !

I can remember visiting my Great Grandma (she lived three doors down from my maternal Grandparents, my Grandpa’s Mum) I used to play her piano in the best sitting room and she would feed me up with biscuits, cakes and cups of sugary tea.

No appointment needed I just used to skip along the road and knock.

I can remember my paternal Great Grandma (Granny’s mum) upstairs in my Granny’s house, sitting up in bed with a jar of peppermints on the nightstand, I think she died when I was about 6 & 7

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I think it's worth bearing in mind people were of their time and the prevailing conditions they lived through would have shaped them in some way. Grandparents of our demographic have almost certainly lived through one if not two world wars, similarly our parents would have been involved or affected by the 2nd WW.

Whilst I might have thought some of their expectations in behaviour overly fussy at the time, in retrospect having spent time in research on Ancestry I realise now perhaps where they were coming from. In many ways I wish I had more conversations about their growing up experiences when they were alive, it never occurred to me to do so. When I was very young I think I presumed that they just arrived in the world as an elderly people

I think I, like many of my generation, I am pretty relaxed around my own grandchildren, I'm just pleased when they say please and thank you, which they do. On the downside when they stay with us, I wish they'd read more books and spend less time of their tables, but that's generational me coming out, books were my main source of entertainment so I would say that! However, they do say, they read more during the week when they aren't allowed to have their gadgetry, only at week ends allegedly, and it's the week ends when we see them.

What happens in Grandma’s house stays in Grandma’s house.

Our AC all know how I take care of the GC and are more than happy to go along with the GC thinking they are getting away with stuff when in reality they are not #naughtyGran

Obviously I knew how my daughter was bringing her daughter up and acted accordingly. Not feeding her too many sweets etc. Usually

My youngest grandchild is nearly 15, the oldest 20. (I have 5 with DD and DS) .

So no longer little.

I hope I have always been a loving and fair granny to all of them. However, my own children were not spoiled, and I haven’t spoiled the GC.

By spoiling, I suppose I mean sweets galore, late bedtimes when staying with us, things like that. And not OTT Christmas and birthday presents.

They always seemed very happy to come and see us and stay with us, and enjoy my baking even though they are now fairly grown up.

It's not the sort of gran I want to be but a beautiful memory for you and you set the scene so well

In my case it was Granddaughter's rules. Years ago, when one of my granddaughters was six she came to stay with me. On the first morning I mentioned that we would do some gardening later. After sitting together chatting for a while she firmly said 'Come on Grandma, let's get on with the gardening. We can't just sit here wasting time'.

I never met my grandmothers. No need for rules with our granddaughter. She was and is perfectly behaved.

Our rules are the rules our daughters have set for their children.

Sweets, screens, electronics, clothing, swimming, walking, (amounts of exercise) and reading - are daughters directed.

Thank goodness these days are long gone, no wonder some people do not have warm memories of grandmothers. Mine were 1) the Scottish granny, distant, not maternal, not unfriendly but not particularly affectionate and 2) German Oma , strict, quite dogmatic with no SOH , kind but never close. I also know she was a harsh stepmum to my Mum.
This is more like it!