Staying put or moving house?

Could you afford a camper van, Aussiegran? Affordable trips to the ocean whenever you like.

MooMOO This is such a raw time for you. Suicide is one of the most difficult, painful deaths to cope with. I know because four years ago I lost my son to suicide. Take your time in deciding if you should move house.
But if you do decide to go, a new build, proving it's a reputable builder, is a good idea. My caring thoughts are with you.

How has retirement changed your life? Was it what you expected? Better? Worse?

Nothing has changed. I had no expectations.

Our answer to your dilemma would be more seaside holidays. More holidays vacations is always a good solution, in my opinion.

Maybe a caravan?

Would it be possible for you to do a house swap. It was mentioned earlier in this post. Seems like an ideal solution to see if it really is as great as you hope without the upheaval and investment of a major move.
Maybe you could do it for several months each year.

We did really move to be near youngest sons college- its nearer but he still wants lifts home in bad weather as no bus comes up the big hill🙄😐

After being 10 years in same spot we finally moved house this august! Finally i can soak in a lovely bubble bath- not much-only time for shower! (Had walk- in shower only at old house) Finally wont have a water-logged garden- Not so, new house lop-sided victorian garden.So big pool of water in centre when it rains..🙄 Finally will have a bigger bedroom for me- but at moment still full of boxes! Oh well i'm sure its worth it in the long run once the teething troubles are sorted.😊(provided rent doesnt go up!)

Moving is stressful. We live with my FinL who is 92...and wants to move, sadly it isn't likely. We are in an enormous 4 bed, with a 1 bed annexe for Dad set in an acre, we will move to a bungalow but we are 56 and 66, OH is a hoarder of detritus so I truly dread the actual event.

i asked my friend recently, who is also in the process of moving,she said something which made sense, to me at least!
people or place, what is most important as we age?

Some interesting points, happy and sad. At age 73 I moved from a 4 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow 5 years ago. So glad I did as now have mobility problems.
Most of us long for our heart's desire in life but sometimes you have to be content with what you get.

We moved to the coast when I retired and had 3 happy years there. The main problems encountered were that it was an hours drive from the nearest hospital and our family and it takes a long time to make new friends even if you join clubs etc. We have now moved back to our mid devon home and are near our family, rail and bus links to a main town and on joining local clubs have met up with old friends. We take several breaks each year to the coast using airbnb and have a VW camper van for day outings to the coast. Follow your heart, friends and family come and go but family are always there !

AussieGran: what a decision for you.
We have moved to a bungalow close to amenities and its working for us on a day-to-day level. We have family in the same town, though no guarantee that they won't move of course.
My OH's lifelong hobby has been down-scaled due to the distances he would need to travel now, but he has found other interests that he wouldn't have pursued if we had stayed where we were.
My interests are moveable! (gardening and crafts mostly).

Somehow I feel location is key, and adapt as much as you can.

MooMOO, so sorry to hear your news.
Waiting a while before a major decision sounds like a sensible idea.
I know what the suicide of a close family member feels like. I'll be thinking of you.

I was widowed 22 years ago aged 50 and moved 25 miles away to be near a friend who has turned on me and my life is now solitary and miserable. Should I go back to where I was, move to London to be near son or Australia to be near daughter, stay put or try somewhere completely new… at age 73 it’s not an easy decision . You all have such different interesting scenarios.

My husband has just died 4 weeks ago taking his own life at the age of 69. I am grieving badly, I feel as if my retirement life has just been ripped from underneath my feet. My home is lovely we have lived here for 16 years it now feels just like a shell. I will wait awhile and see what the New Year Brings. I will probably live in the same area as I have grandchildren here. If I decide to move I shall look for a new build.

I live alone, a considerable distance from my three children, who are all in different directions. My mobility and health issues make it difficult to travel on public transport and I have lost confidence in driving more than short distances. Be thankful, those of you who can still do those things. On the plus side, I live in a house which is big enough to accommodate my family when they visit, so that, and the thought of the hassle of moving, keep me here. I know that I am lucky that I can afford to pay a cleaner and a gardener to look after the house. I used to love travelling, but must accept that those days are over - I feel that I live my life secondhand, listening to tales of others' exciting trips.

We should have downsized a lot more than we did when we moved 10 years. Now find ourselves with a house that is much too large and no longer manageable as we come to the end of our 70s. The house has been neglected for the last few years and we can't face the amount of work needed - not least painting externally (scaffolding, lime wash etc). Can't bear to see it deteriorating. Have been trying to persuade DH to move for three years (as have our DDs). Despite all arguments about practical and financial sense of moving, he refuses to budge - likes his space, his garages full of clutter, his piles of books and papers. I feel trapped and anxious about the mess I will probably be left with, and my house no longer feels like "my haven". Location great with shops, transport on the doorstep but how I envy friends and neighbours in sensible apartments and bungalows. So, strong advice to those moving in their 60s - downsize more than you think you need to, declutter right now. Your house doesn't have to be big enough for family to stay (they'll visit less than you or they think they will) and use the money you save on downsizing house to pay for them to stay in a Premier Inn when they visit.

Forgive my ignorance AussieGran but as I understand it you live in Sydney? I know Sydney is a large city but it’s coastal so could you not move somewhere nearer to the sea within your own city or it’s suburbs?

i live in the west end of a large city, i am close to gp, hospitals etc, i keep being asked to move into a 1 bedroom place by my h/a, i live on my own and only have a couple of friends/neighbours, i would probably end up in some sort of bedsit type place as there are not enough 1 bedroom houses, i have happy here and could not face moving, i did this when i had my son was small back in the early 90s, sometimes moving 8/9 times a year until i could get a council house.

We dream of beachside living too. But the truth is, these places are rammed with tourists in the best weather months. Also, they are too far away from our kids. Instead, we think we shall remain in our lovely home as long as possible and take extended, off season breaks in our favourite part of the country. Best of both worlds!

Having cared for an in law who wouldn’t move from their large retirement property because of its location and the ability to put up visitors -
I will definitely downside in my advancing years. The relative ended up unable to get upstairs or to do their own garden. Cleaners, gardeners, large fuel bills and vast refurbishing costs were never ending expenses. Relatives were well able to book into hotels on visits and they would have been more comfortable in a bungalow as they wouldn’t have fallen on stairs so often!
Sadly even a stairlift was no help!

I downsized for various reasons. How I wish I hadn't. I could have help with the garden and the bungalow.
I was lonely and thought it would be a good idea to move into retirement apartment. I can still be lonely. As the apartments are leasehold there are so many restrictions.
Do a list of pros and cons

Could you try putting natices up in library and coffee shop to try and meet other people who live in the coastal town. You could try meeting up for a bit and just see if you ave similar attitudes and then perhaps you could swap houses for a break, so that hopefully you end up where you swap, no cash changes hand except perhaps gas or electricity. That you do the simple basics such as watering garden etc and this way you get the chance to move perhaps a couple of times a year and it costs you very little. if that doesnt work well do you have a camping place that you might be able to stay in for a week or two . Once you have got somewhere you learn all about the area and you can also leave a list of good eating places or shops for the person you swap with .

We moved area completely when DH retired. Nearly back to where we were from originally. One dd lived abroad the other about an hour away , all perfect for the first few years.
Then DD moved to near the Cotswolds and Covid came along.
It has made us realise just how isolated we are. Neighbours have just made the second move in 3 years to give a small townhouse in a busy market town a try. £0 mins from the sea.
Country living with no amenities at all and really nowhere to walk it is all farmed land.
We both admit we came here to allow DH to walk but will we still be here in a few years' time I doubt it.
I don't drive like I used to and the city hospital is 30 mins away on the opposite side of a busy crossroads city.
I would suggest you keep on looking just for now and maybe somewhere near the sea but with amenities will come up.
Picture postcard villages just don't have the amenities you need as you get older. My DH gave up fishing because there no longer are many trout or salmon in the rivers because they are polluted .
Good luck with your search.

We have recently moved to Cornwall after much planning and research. As old sods certain facilities were paramount, doctor, convenience store etc. and yes, sorry, a local pub - it's where you meet your new community and make friends.
My grandchildren
I no longer see twice , or more, weekly but they visit regularly
and we appreciate having days with them rather than hours.
I agree with others as you become older head must rule heart !

We moved from a lovely village in the U.K. after almost 40 years there, but it had no shops, no buses, no street lights, no pavements (and no nothing!) to a seaside town about 100 miles away. Nearby are all the facilities we could need, 8 buses an hour pass the front door to larger coastal towns, a mainline train station a short bus ride away and a busy, and a busy thriving community on the doorstep. No regrets whatsoever about moving to suburbia and leaving the countryside behind. Facilities are more important in retirement than birdsong imho 😀