Are you put off from visiting?

Pressed post too soon, the other thing we did (twice) was rent a cottage by the coast and they all came to stay with us, lots of work, plus taking Christmas food and all the gifts down, then sourcing fresh food, but we all had a lovely time.
It didn’t work out to be much more expensive than a Hotel and meals out at restaurants.

We go down to Cornwall, but we now stay in the city in a pub with rooms over, not only is it friendlier than the hotel we usually stayed in, it was easier for MzOops and the GCs to get to and closer to their favourite restaurants, we bear the costs because we can, at the moment.
However this year MzOops and the GCs are coming to us, we will pay for their fuel, which is a lot cheaper!
We can’t stay with them as they are squashed in a teeny tiny cottage and they have a cat, MrOops is very allergic to cats

Would you go?

Yes I would. I only wouldn’t go if I genuinely didn’t have the money. This Christmas we’re going to New Zealand to see our daughter and grandchildren who are living there at present. We’re staying for two months, but not actually with them, we’ve got a couple of rentals lined up.

You could try an Air n B instead. DS started this and charges £50 a night for room and facilities.

If you can afford it definitely do it. Hotel is better. When younger, all squashing in together is fun. Not so when you're older. And especially if energy is limited. You need to be able to go to your hotel and rest. When my DD and GC come here , I pay for a hotel too. Like Wyllow3 I have CFS/ME.
It's money well spent. Of course those of us who can afford it are fortunate.
I hope you find somewhere suitable Mollygo and enjoy your visit.

@farmour1:
Both of my DC live in house shares with other working graduates of similar age (early and mid 30s). Just like most graduates of their age.
One lives in a house with 6 other people, (at a cost of around £1000+ a month rent each) They have a small double room and share a kitchen and bathroom.
The other shares with four other people in a similar (but more expensive) set up.
Neither can afford their own accommodation, or to live in with just a partner.
How can we stay with them? Not enough floor space in either of their bedrooms for a sleeping bag on the floor and their housemates don't want someone else's parents sleeping in the bathroom or (tiny ) kitchen.
They live in different parts of the country to us due to their careers. Like many people on here, if we want to see them, we have to travel (about £200 each minimum, and at least a 6 hour journey) and get a "cheap"travel lodge at around £70 a night, plus meals out for all of us (no, we can't eat at the house shares, there's just no spare room in the kitchens, the housemates have to take turns to cook and eat, the kitchens are only big enough for three at a time.
Both have good jobs, but have minimum holiday and work weekends so can't really get "home" to see us easily.

Only one person (I think) mentioned bathrooms which I think are increasingly important as we get older. Over the years we have had several holidays with friends but during the last few years when renting an apartment or gite we always have a bathroom for each bedroom. Too much coffee and I'm getting up several times during the night.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My parents sometimes came down from Scotland when we lived in London but always elected to stay in a central London Hotel.(Usually Strand Palace) I could not understand why they didnt stay with us especially as it meant Paw had to drive into town to pick them up on Christmas morning then take them back at the end of the day.
But now I have grandchildren I ABSOLUTELY understand ! An undisturbed night, no crack of dawn start to seeing the girls opening stockings,en suite bathroom, little bit of luxury - this was their treat to themselves!

cornergran

We were discussing this very issue last week. It’s not often we stay in a hotel type accommodation to visit family but do sometimes when one son has his teenage daughters staying. We can, just, make it for a day but increasingly find it exhausts us and so we decided we’ll swallow the cost while we can and stay locally. Neither of our children are close by. Fuel for these trips stretches the budget, no family on the doorstep has meant a lot of travelling back and forth to see them. Again we’ll do it while health, energy and finances allow. Our lives are so much less busy than theirs, better that we travel than ask them to.

This has led me to look up hotels local to where my DGC live. They are currently 4,6,8,10, and time is precious, yet as I have quite bad CFS I can only take so much each day of their lovely little busynesses. Its not an expensive area and does feel as if it make make things more possible - as long as I find somewhere I can occupy a room all day and settle in a bit.

We were discussing this very issue last week. It’s not often we stay in a hotel type accommodation to visit family but do sometimes when one son has his teenage daughters staying. We can, just, make it for a day but increasingly find it exhausts us and so we decided we’ll swallow the cost while we can and stay locally. Neither of our children are close by. Fuel for these trips stretches the budget, no family on the doorstep has meant a lot of travelling back and forth to see them. Again we’ll do it while health, energy and finances allow. Our lives are so much less busy than theirs, better that we travel than ask them to.

Go see them - forget the presents, explain to them why. The seeing them is more important. If they have resources, they may offer to chip in with hotel so that you can afford presents.

Future planning - chose cheapest time of year, low season like February, when hotel costs drop.

I do sympathise re actually staying with family, Ok when you have the energy, and depending on how much space there.

I have to sleep in the playroom which is how they go in and out of the house.

A v disabled grandchild and night disturbances and night time routines is what makes asking one of the grandchildren to re locate not on, so it IS making me think, maybe a hotel, as I get very tired and need down time.

We are going to Cambridge for Xmas and booked the Premier Inn for nights of 24,25 and 26.£120 for three nights.Think that is pretty good deal.We have found that if you look once and don’t book it then the price goes up.Barbarax

I'm not put off by the cost, but I am by the logistics. So much to arrange (I work from home, 7 days a week, plus am childcare for my DGS) that it's hard to move everything around to be able to fit travel in.

Yes I could go after Christmas, but they would like us to go before Christmas and we’d love to see them then.
I appreciate all the comments and encouragement and I really must look at what Airbnb involves for the future.

Could you go after Christmas perhaps? Hotel may be much cheaper then & as has already been suggested, cheap deals may be available when booking far enough in advance.

Not quite the same but useful information, I was in hospital for a while and some dear relatives stayed in a local Premier Inn, before going back to our house to check anything needed,then hospital visiting!!
Everyday they had clean rooms, fresh beds and towels followed by breakfast. Could be expensive but horses for courses I suppose.

Half of my family live abroad. If you can afford it go. Time with your children and grandchildren is priceless.

If you can afford it, then I'd go. We're amongst the GNs with family overseas (our OC, spouse, & DGC). I looooong for them to be in the UK!

Son

My sin lives 380 miles from me and has a big Birthay in December, I am going for 2 nights in a hotel, I think with insurance in case I cancel it will be about £380. I dont count the present as I would buy it anyway.
Go and enjoy it, money well spent so long as you can afford it.

Callistemon21
“I think children rather enjoy 'camping' on a lilo indoors.”
As children, they did. They even camped in the garden, though obviously not at this time of year, which is when we’re going.
Moving out of their rooms?
As adults getting up to go to work, which some will as part of the time we’re there, I don’t feel it’s fair to expect it though DGS, who has the smallest room (single bed) offered. They only have one bathroom and don’t have a summerhouse or an extension.
SueDonim that’s another reason why they aren’t coming up, although next year they’re coming and we’re all sharing a ‘lodge’ so we can go to a family wedding about half way between us.
LOUISA1523 If you have the room, then it’s lovely to welcome family to stay. When they had the room we always stayed there.
The good news-DD suggested we let our pooch stay with them. Fingers crossed that that works!

Hithere - I agree that different arrangements suit different families. In our case, my mother appreciated teenage son moving out of his room, and would give him “bed and breakfast” money! All happy.

Please visit your family if you can afford to. My son met a lovely Kiwi girl on his travels eighteen years ago and stayed in New Zealand. I'd dearly love to see them more frequently. I hope you are able to enjoy your Christmas with your family.

My ds’s children were truly terrible sleepers. I’d never ask him to move them out of their bedrooms for us. Ds and dil both work FT and doing that on minimal sleep is a misery.

Mollygo I think expecting five adults to be able to visit somewhere at the same time is a non-starter, really, unless it’s for a wedding or similar. My ds in the US came over this summer but we weren’t able to get everyone together at any point. He managed to see everyone over the course of two weeks, so that was a blessing.