Are you put off from visiting?

I go to visit my son every six months costs about the same as I stay in a hotel. I go March and September though as I certainly couldn`t afford December with all the other costs of presents and Christmas.

No.

Could they come to you for a change?

I sympathise!
I only live 50 miles from 2 DDs in London and 75 from the other in Birmingham but reckon on spending getting on for £50- £100; even just to visit for a day by the time I have factored in dog care, parking at station, travel card, and (usually); taking us out to lunch! If it’s for a baby sit and I stay over it can get very expensive as I then pay an additional £44 for 2 days dog kennelling. Even driving is more expensive than it used to be.
But on the other hand…..
I remember how lonely and desolate I felt when I was locked down and a FaceTime was the best we could do and I missed out on 2 really important years in my gcs’ childhood.
So it’s swings and roundabouts isn’t it?
It could be worse- how do people whose AC and DGC live on the other side of the world afford to visit them?
I’d go - but I see exactly where you are coming from.

MawtheMerrier It could be worse- how do people whose AC and DGC live on the other side of the world afford to visit them?

Spot on.

No, we'd not be put off from visits, life is short.

If we could afford it we'd certainly go. Life is too short to miss out on family connection.
If we couldn't afford that level of expense I might be thinking about cheaper ways to do it. (Bus, Airbnb, blow up mattress etc)

Aveline

If we could afford it we'd certainly go. Life is too short to miss out on family connection.
If we couldn't afford that level of expense I might be thinking about cheaper ways to do it. (Bus, Airbnb, blow up mattress etc)

I agree - I’d look for deals at Premier Inn if I couldn’t stay with my daughter, there are discount codes available, and the earlier you book the cheaper it is.

Can you afford it?

My DDs are only 25miles away, so the round trip costs £10 in fuel. Some weeks, I can be up there 5 times and I covered 13K miles in the past 12 months, but one of these fine days, they probably won’t need me to be as involved with my DGS as I currently am. Like Maw when I looked after my DH throughout lockdown and was still in lockdown when he died last year - it was very isolating and I missed out.
Thankfully, I enjoy driving and as it would cost at least £20K to move house, (not to mention the sale, purchase and upheaval of moving) I can buy an awful lot of diesel for that, so I’ll keep things as they are, for now.
Going back to the OP - my friend’s daughter pays her train fare when she visits, so might your DD be able to help you out with some costs? Just curious, but why can’t you stay with her? Another friend’s DGD gives up her bedroom when she stays. I do sympathise with the OP’s dilemma - perhaps the Christmas gifts could be downgraded?

Yes I would go, and hang the expense As they say, You can't take it with you! But if it was going to seriously affect my budget I would look at alternatives like Airbnb or maybe going at a different time of year in future maybe to coincide with a birthday or special occasion.

If you can afford it, the danger of measuring benefit according to the cost is being perceived as "caring more about money than family"

Frequency and length of trips can always be adjusted to what each family can afford

Yes we definitely would. Three nights sounds about right to me given there’s a 300 mile journey involved. To see family including grandchildren it’s absolutely worth it and I know my husband would feel the same. Luckily too, he wouldn’t mind the long drive as he’s quite patient on the road (unlike me!)

I would go, you cannot put a price on time spent with family.

It could be worse- how do people whose AC and DGC live on the other side of the world afford to visit them?

We said we'd never go economy again either .....

Probably cheaper to pay their fares to come to us although they are double what they were pre-pandemic.

Don't have your problem as both children live in our town but unless I really couldn't afford it I would go. You can put a price on memories and time with family. Unless they live in a tourist area surely you could get a premier inn or travelodge cheaper.

I'd go too - can you find a B&B that is a bit cheaper?

We had tours around the UK visiting relatives we hadn't seen since before Covid recently; we hadn't been anywhere for nearly 3 years so hadn't spent out on holidays.

Travelodge can easily cost £300/400 eg in Glasgow on Friday Saturday Sunday

We found a nice hotel cheaper than a Premier Inn in Devon.

Ps breakfast included.

I would go, but maybe look for cheaper accommodation like airbnb as mentioned. Just don't stay anywhere advertising a garden cabin/studio. I said I'd be fine in our DD's last March, and it's a wonder I didn't get hypothermia it was so cold. And that was with storage heaters.

Premier Inns have shot up in price too.

I'm surprised at people who stay in a hotel, rather than with family, even if it's a bit of a squash. We have AC in various locations and when visiting would always stay with them. GC are always delighted to wake me up in the morning (even if I could sleep a bit longer!).

We had 5 children and not a very big house, but my parents always stayed when visiting for Christmas or other times. One of our children would move out of their room.

If you've got into the habit of staying in a hotel, it would be hard to ask if you could stay with the family again, but I would be reluctant to visit if I had to stay in hotel.

My OH comes from a distant country and we visited his parents a few times over the years with our growing family. Their house was quite small but we all squashed in - mostly on mattresses on floor. Apart from non-availability of hotels, they would have been insulted had we chosen to stay elsewhere.

It cost a lot to travel there, but not much after. Keeping family connections was important to us.

I'm surprised at people who stay in a hotel, rather than with family, even if it's a bit of a squash

It's not always possible, though.
We've stayed with DC but some relatives we visited were either in a care home or unable to cope with visitors staying.