Paying towards Xmas stay

Hetty58

We always ask what they'd like us to bring - and we take extra Christmas goodies, too, like chocolates, wine etc. I'm sure that they wouldn't take cash. If they're really on a very tight budget, though, I'd offer. When I was broke, my brother would send me an M & S voucher before Christmas to 'buy something nice' with - and I could spend it in the food hall - wonderful.

" If they're really on a very tight budget, though, I'd offer."
Oh, most definitely.

It might be easier for them to have cash rather than having to think through all the "what can I ask them to bring's"

no shame on helping out cashwise imo, its "family" after all. Of course for some its a pride thing - each family is different.

I save my 'loyalty' points all year for the Xmas shop and whoever is hosting in the family gets them.

The question has never arisen. usually everyone is with us and we long ago agreed what part of the Christmas celebrations each would bring.

We only visit for the day but will take a couple of bottles and some chocolates, I also have to make the bread sauce and cranberry sauce.

Witzend. your posy made me laugh. That's the kind of thing my daughter does!

Newquay, it wasn’t exactly ‘jostling* - dd1 was too sneaky for that! - it was just a pub lunch but maybe 6 of us, and as usual dh was saying it was our treat, since we do have more to spare.

After dd1 had argued about it, I kept an eagle eye on her, but when she went (as she said) to the loo, she took no bag or purse.
Turned out when dh asked for the bill that she’d already paid - with a credit card tucked down her bra!

We transfer funds to local DD’s bank AND take some items too!
We’re not free loaders!
We used to have them back here on Boxing Day but she, very thoughtfully, asks us to return again so we don’t do that now for which DH and I are very grateful.
This year a local pub is doing a 3 course meal for £32 on Boxing Day so we’re all going there and we’ll be 'jostling’ to at least pay some of that.

Our family always come to us and No, they don’t offer anything nor do they bring anything, I don’t expect them to.

My inlaws always came to us for Christmas although never stayed as they only lived 5 miles away. Every December my MIL would give me a cheque for £100 to help with Christmas expenses.
It was very welcome as we were not well off and often hosted upto 16 people for christmas lunch. I never expected it but loved her for her thoughfulness. She's a much missed MIL.

We would never take payment from each other......can get my head round giving people money to feed you...unless you go to a restaurant

My SiL never invites us to theirs for a meal. When they come here I really pull out the stops and make all of my brother’s favourite foods. We come from a mixed culture and his wife doesn’t make him any of our childhood foods. I love having them here. They usually bring flowers, chocolates and wine. One time my brother gave me money, saying that it’s expensive to entertain and they never reciprocate so he feels guilty. I was so upset that he had done this. I host with love and my hope is that my guests receive with love.
Don’t offer money unless it’s been requested. Local traders vouchers are great, taking stuff with you is great. Giving money is an insult.

It depends on the financial circumstances of the offspring you are visiting. My two eldest don’t need anything so a bottle and chocolates would do fine as well as presents. However, the youngest is saving towards a down payment, therefore I would contribute to the cost of Christmas by doing a bank transfer before she went shopping.

Would never be expected to pay cash, but always take plenty goodies, booze etc. Same when I used to host Xmas Dinner, didn't expect money from any of them and back in the day I was on "the bones of my backside" financially!.

My mother used to come every year and bring a jar of M&S chutney, she would then bang on for ages how busy M&S was, how she couldn’t park,how they had almost sold out and how it gets more expensive every year.
You honestly would have thought she had climbed Everest to get the blasted chutney!
I used to want to ram the chutney………
She stayed for far too long drank her way through numerous bottles of wine and sherry, then would say she couldn’t help because she always got in the way.

Nothing at all.

My children would never take payment. We always go laden with goodies and gifts.

Also if I was hosting, I would never expect payment.

Would not dream of cash, wouldn’t be expected either, just take lots of presents and goodies vouchers if you want. Take them out one evening too.

AreWeThereYet I should say though that it does depend though on the financial circumstances of your own family - if you know they would appreciate the money to help them out, for instance.

Agreed. We've a feel for our daughters' finances.

We help any way we can, not just holidays, all year.

All families are different to others.

No cash either way, ever. But lots of goodies and gifts and help to prepare food etc .

I should say though that it does depend though on the financial circumstances of your own family - if you know they would appreciate the money to help them out, for instance. Maybe a mix of goodies when you arrive and some money if you think it would be well received? Or as some others do take them out for a nice meal before you leave?

No money. We once offered and offended both D and SiL. Now we take things we know they like and tell them beforehand what we are bringing so they don't duplicate it unless they want to. We always take some flowers too and something we know the children like. We don't go over Christmas anyway, usually before or after.

My family would be real offended if I offered cash.

No cash it’s family!
Drinks and all sorts of food yes, Christmas cake and bits.

When we’ve stayed at dd’s, we’ve brought the turkey, plenty of fizz and OJ for Buck’s Fizz, and lots of other stuff. 3 years ago, when she was very heavily pregnant, I took absolutely everything and cooked - in the hope of her putting her feet up!
‘Twas a forlorn hope….

Auntieflo

Since DD has taken over hosting Christmas for us, I have transferred cash into her bank account, labelled as Turkey and Tinsel.
She and SIL are very organised, so seem to have everything needed, so cash is a help towards the cost of our stay.

This is our way as well.

We give money, wine, vouchers, and sweets.

Anything, really, to help their budget.