School trips and non- uniform days demands

Iam64….. my granddaughter is 10 and refuses to do homework . Nothing has ever happened to her ….and she is well I. Advance of her age in all subjects. Her dad is a teacher of special needs kids and her mum is a child psychologist …both agreed early on that homework is an ‘anachronism of which we should be rid’ so they personally rid it from their kids lives! Home is family time NOT for catching up on what teacher failed to get across in class time!

My son started school in the early 2000s.

My first initiation was Jean's for Genes day. £1 to wear what he wore anyway (no uniform). Harvest festival. Children in Need day - back then they did a mini bazaar and we were told that 50p would be plenty for them to try everything. So that wasnt too bad.
Add in sending cakes for Macmillan coffee morning and then going along to buy them back, prizes for various stalls at the bazaar (and having to go and try to win them back), the person standing at the entrance to the Xmas play selling raffle tickets as we filed in slowly so you couldnt avoid buying any. The annual shoebox appeal for Samaritans Purse. (Always ignored that). Oh they were always given tickets for the panto but intribute to the travel, there'd be a Santa trip with a cost to it! No xmas jumper day at that point. Oh and there was a fund raising thing where you bought a book of discount tickets for various local businesses. Some sort of commercial enterprise with a donation to the school - ignored that too.

And that was just one term - although I always found autumn term the worst!!

Welshwife

When I was at school - immediately after the war- the nit nurse was a regular visitor. Some poor souls had to attend the clinic soon after and came back with shaven heads and gentian violet also on any scratches etc. Gentian violet seemed to be an everyday cure for all sorts of skin ailments.

When my son was a baby he developed oral thrush and the GP prescribed gentian violet, which I had to paint on the inside of his cheeks.
He was being breast fed so you can imagine what a colourful pair we made 😂

Doodledog

*Now it seems that teachers are not allowed to discriminate against children who do not bring in a "donation" to show them up in front of their classmates.*

They shouldn't be 'allowed' to discriminate, and nor should they feel inclined to do so, IMO.

I was at primary school in the late 60s, and remember Smile books, which were for something like Save the Children. They were little books with perforated photographs of orphans, and you were supposed to sell them to friends and family, who wrote their donation on the 'stub' and tore off the photo of the child they liked best. It was all kinds of wrong, and as I was one of three children it must have been a real nuisance to my parents and relatives. There was a similar one for Barnardos, I think. We also had plastic money boxes in the shape of houses for (I think) Christian Aid Week. You took them home and tried to fill them up during the week, and there was a public count of the donations in class with the winner getting a prize. We occasionally did sponsored things, but they were always useful, such as cleaning brasses that people sent into the school, or litter picking.

My children started school in the 90s and had seemingly countless 'days' such as World Book Day, which involved making or buying costumes and paying for them not to wear the (non-compulsory) uniform. Ditto Children in Need and Red Nose Day etc. There were also book sales and fundraisers for the PTA. Some of those were fun, but again, the cost will have added up for those with larger families. I hated the dressing up days, and resented paying for them to do it. Most people bought outfits from supermarkets, which didn't fit the following year and ended up getting thrown away. Anyone who couldn't afford them must have felt bad. I think that if schools insist on doing this sort of thing they should have a 'bank' of clothing that people can use, so nobody is left out.

Some of the 'days' were quite specific - wear a colour for a cause sort of thing, so not everyone would have (eg) a yellow top or a green dress. I can't remember what they were now. Red for AIDS springs to mind as an example, although I doubt it was one of the causes the school supported. They also did sponsored activities but they tended to be silences or other things that benefited nobody, but cost the parents and friends money.

I know schools struggle, and that getting money out of parents is essential, but I would have preferred a voluntary (and anonymous) direct debit or something, with none of the emotional blackmail attached to visible displays of contribution. Some of the parents made a huge deal out of letting everyone know how much they paid up.

And don't get me started* about Operation Raleigh-style schemes to give experiences to 6th formers that they hope will boost their University applications. They are just organised begging, and I lost count of the social occasions we went to that were supposedly for a parent's birthday or something but turned out to be raising funds for someone else's child to get a fancy holiday that would give them the edge over others who were applying for the same courses. How children from deprived areas were supposed to be able to access them is beyond me. Even the ones that don't allow direct contributions are totally skewed in favour of kids whose parents know enough people with spare money or whose companies can contribute auctionable items that can be deducted against tax as charitable donations, or whatever.

*Oh, I got started .

Oh how I remember the Smile books Doodlebug and the books of wildlife African animals we were given by our school to sell
My mother was incensed as she regarded them as begging for money and as we were/are a very small family/not living near other family she objected to 'coughing up' the money herself and certainly wasn't going to take me knocking on neighbours doors to try to sell the very small paper pictures which a lot of children did.

I an remember the "nit nurse" too!

One time I had to visit the nit nurse just after a science lesson when I had spilled something onto my skirt. I got told off for coming to school in "dirty clothes" as they would not believe I had only done it in a lesson that day.

Yes children did often get into trouble because of things their parents had/had not done and they had to "tough it out".

I was supposed to be in from school at a certain tme to let my younger sister in (my mother was working). One day the entire class was given detention but I sloped off home. Someone snitched on me and next day the teacher asked me why I had gone off. I told her that if had to choose between a whallopping from my father or a telling off from a teacher I would choose the latter any day.

This thread’s bringing back memories! I remember boys with shaved heads and purple patches at my primary as well - it must have been common as it didn’t seem to cause a stir. I don’t remember any girls having their heads shaved though - perhaps they just had their hair cut short.

I once tried flogging my Sunny Smiles door to door with my friend on a Sunday and we got a right earful for doing it on the Lord’s day.

I was a junior Red Cross member and each of us had to take in a Christmas present for the ten or so children who lived in the local Barnados home. It was a beautiful big old house with a huge tree in the hallway reaching up to the ceiling, a massive pile of presents underneath it. We’d never seen anything like it.

fairfraise

How awful Welshwife for the children to have their heads shaved.

I remember a girl at primary school having her head shaved.
Luckily my mother noticed I had nits before the school nurse did!

How awful Welshwife for the children to have their heads shaved.

On the 'wear a colour' days, a simple badge made of cardboard could be enough!
There's too much begging these days, in the form of 'charity/charitable' donations, and it's out of hand now. I much prefer to choose my own charities and how much I'll pay into them but I will not subscribe to them as it'll be 'sell raffle tickets, leave money in your will, pay this, pay that' etc.
Just how much actually goes into these charities, as opposed to admin fees, advertising and whatnot??

I remember from my junior school days in the 50s having a form which folded in three, and inside was a list of flowers I think, and you had to ask people to buy a flower and pay 1d or 2d for it. I think it was for starving children in Africa then. You tried to fill up the card, but it was difficult!

When I was at school - immediately after the war- the nit nurse was a regular visitor. Some poor souls had to attend the clinic soon after and came back with shaven heads and gentian violet also on any scratches etc. Gentian violet seemed to be an everyday cure for all sorts of skin ailments.

I remember Sunny Smiles Doodledog what an awful concept that was.

I agree in the 50s and 60s discrimination was not even thought about, I remember all the incidents you mention in your post. Supposed to toughen us up.

Unfortunately charities are going to suffer badly next year as most people will not have enough money for their own needs without donating to others.
It's sad that so many organisations and establishments rely on charitable donations, I feel for hospices and children's respite centres they will have some hard choices to make.

When did the Sunny Smiles books die out? They were really dreadful on so many levels. They were a feature of my childhood but had gone by the time my children went to school, so somewhere in between the 60s/70s and the 90s. Was there a high-level decision to stop them? Comments on this thread suggest that they were a feature in a number of schools.

Franbern, having six children must have made all of these things difficult, particularly the 'dress up' days. I only had two, and it was bad enough trying to come up with a centurion costume for one and a mushroom for the other with two days' notice as they'd forgotten to give me the note. A friend of mine had four children who were briefly all in primary school together, and she had to push hard for them to get a photo taken with them all together rather than pay for one each. As she said, apart from the cost (which would have been high) she could find a frame and a place in the house for one photo, but four? It would have been like living in the Portrait Gallery by the time they left Primary.

What I can't understand is why teachers in the past were so insensitive to the things that even at the time were obviously cruel. Counting money in front of the class, 'free ticket children' in separate queues, sitting children according to scores on weekly tests, indiscreet letters to give to parents if the nit nurse found infestations and much more. I know that they don't do those things now, and that training is different, but why would it take training to show someone that these things were wrong? Attitudes to things like corporal punishment change (thanks goodness!), so whereas I can't begin to imagine caning a child, I understand that at least some people who did it thought it was 'for their own good'. But surely seeing the faces of children who bring in a moneybox with very little in it going to the bottom of the class ranking, or who can't be in the play because their mum doesn't have the money for a costume would make it clear that these things are a bad idea? And that's without the hideousness of the Sunny Smiles concept.

My heart used to sink when one of mine came home and said it was fancy dress for whatever event at school, Brownies, Hallowe'en party, school fete etc.
That was before so many costumes were available in the supermarkets.

Until recently I was a Governor at a local primary school which isn’t in an affluent neighbourhood. Yes they do raise funds for charities and for the school and have outings and trips but it’s all handled so discreetly that no one knows who has or hasn’t contributed.
Regarding wearing own clothes to school, when I was a child there were thankfully few of these occasions. Some of the girls may be been embarrassed because their parents couldn’t afford nice outfits. My family could afford nice clothes but my father chose everything I wore and it was all very childish and old fashioned. I returned in tears from a Christmas party at the age of 13 because I was dressed so differently from everyone else and I refused to go to parties after that.

Events like plays and nativities are free
At DGD's school the enthusiastic PTA would put on light refreshments at these events, proceeds to the school.

All contributions are voluntary at our school.

Events like plays and nativities are free.

There is pupil premium for disadvantaged children that extends a grant to the school. This is used at the schools discretion and can help towards uniform costs and trips. It can also be used to help children who don't qualify for it but can't afford larger trips so they can attend.

There is help available to try and put children on a level footing in school but schools can't help if they aren't asked

I can remember 70 years ago taking in donations for children who were starving in Africa.

70 years on

Now it seems that teachers are not allowed to discriminate against children who do not bring in a "donation" to show them up in front of their classmates

No child should have to face discrimination because their parents cannot afford to make a donation.

With the COL crisis some of the schools really do seem to be taking the mick.
I think the idea is to encourage children to think of others, however, some of them may be the ones suffering, of course.

They don't have to wear yellow or a Pudsey Bear outfit; most children have a pair of pjs and some kind of dressing up outfit for World Book Day. They do receive a book voucher on World Book Day.

The £2 is a suggestion, not an order.

However, I agree it has become a bit much now, there always seems to be some event or other going on.

At my youngest DC's primary school they used to hold auctions - parents would donate something or volunteer their services, gardening, tuition etc and the bids would begin.

Nice to hear a teachers perspective on this.

When I stated that the school was not allowed to single out children who did not contribute I was not refering of the present day or recent past. It was very different in the 1950s school where I attended from age 7-11. When we were given those tacky little envelopes the teacher kept a record of the ones that were returned. The parent was supposed to put in a donation and sign the back.

I knew that if I pestered for money I would get a slap from my father so I never dared to ask. If I could not beg some money from my grandmother I put a foreign coin in and just scribbled a name. I was bright enough to realise that once the teacher had ticked you off the list as having returned the envelope nothing more would be saidf.

I can remember carnivals and festivals we had in school but I dont recall having to pay a "fee" to join. My grandmother always made my costumes from some of her old clothes. One year I was picked to be Mary in a nativity play. She made me a dress from a white sheet and dyed another deep blue for a shawl. I can remember my best friend going to one carnival as Maid Marian in a tall pointy with a veil had her mother had made her and was very envious of that hat.

Of course kids love getting dressed up and participating but I wonder which planet some of these schools are on with their constant demands. I had kids there would be an almost blanket refusal (on principle) and my kids would have to tough it out, as I did.

nanna8

What about school fetes? They seem to raise a lot of money and people love the home baked things.Better than asking for donations all the time and the kids serve the goods and they seem to love it.

There are all kinds of rules now about selling things that have been made in a home-kitchen.

Even when I worked as a teacher over 15 years ago too many days were to make money. We had a scheme that you could buy a lottery number can't remember the amount and if your number came up you got £20.
The one I detested and thought was awful, the school borrowed a large shopping trolley from a supermarket and the children had to bring in Christmas food donations, they got worse even when I was working and then they had to sell tickets to see who would win it. I was thoroughly disgusted when at least two years members of staff won the trolley load and took it off home, the parents were aiding the staff's Christmas!!!
I always said that the free dinner children's parents had paid at the office when someone came around to collect school dinner money.
It must be a nightmare these days,one GD has had World book day, World Science day,to Dress like a Roman and a child being evacuated. Luckily my daughter is quite imaginative and manages the costumes but what she would do if she had three or four I don't know!!!!
At school we had the smile book for Christian aid and Dr Barnados, Also the houses you were meant to fill and was counted in front of everyone even the twins in my class were given a house each. Mine never had much in as my father danated to whom he wanted not the school

When I was teaching, in an area of high deprivation, we never asked for extra from families with more than one child. We also knew the families, who could not afford to donate, and their dignity was preserved.

I know of a number of families, who were never asked for payment for trips, the parents could hardly afford to feed them, so we subsidised the trips.

I can well remember that at one time, I had six children across the years at their primary school. We were very hard-up and I actually wrote to the Head Mistress saying that any 'sponsorship' forms they were given would just be torn up. No way was I going to get all six children asking the same few relatives to come up with money. I explained to the children why our family could not do these sponsorships and it did not cause any problems.

This primary school used to collect food once a year for Harvest Festival. This was thenput in boxes nad taken oround to OAP's living close to that school. Pupils were asked to bring in on the day, pushchairs or dolls prams, which were used tot ake round these boxes. Only those children who supplied these prams were chosen for this task. My regular donation to Harvest Festival was a small tin of chopped tomatoes - the cheapest item I could find on the superarket shevles. I often felt that those receiving these parcels were probably better off than our family (hubbie had MS and was unable to get work). All my AC remember those tinned tomatoes - all quite happy about it - they did take in the prams, etc. and that was the most important part.

What about school fetes? They seem to raise a lot of money and people love the home baked things.Better than asking for donations all the time and the kids serve the goods and they seem to love it.