Can’t be bothered, 🎄 fatigue.

Normandygirl

I'm in the CBA camp this year but just had my plans for scaling back scuppered by youngest GC. Every year my husband plays Father Christmas for the grandchildren and we turn an old stable in the garden into a magical grotto for them. It's a lovely event and has made lots of happy memories for them and us. This year however my 5 year GD has informed her schoolfriends that she sees the "real Santa" and has invited them to come along. My daughter asked if that would be OK and I agreed. reasoning that a couple of extra little ones wouldn't be a problem. Well, it now turns out that GD has invited quite a few more than a couple of friends and ditto her older siblings who thought it was a great idea and didn't want to be left out. My daughter has said judging by the number of messages she is getting about directions and times, she estimates about 40 little ones are likely to turn up! So now I have to brave the crowds, buy and wrap suitable small gifts for children who could be boys or girls or dare I say it, non binary, quadruple the mince pies and mulled wine for parents and try and work out some parking arrangements.
So to summarise, my scaling back on Christmas chores could be going better.

Normandygirl when my children were little our local children's farm "did Santa" in a very simple way.

The children would go in and see him, he'd ask if they'd been good and what present they'd like, then give them a tree chocolate "to be going on with" and said he'd "be round with the presents on Christmas Eve as usual."

They loved it!

You could also have a sing-song with them of some Christmas favourites, I bet they'd like that too 🎶

I'm just really run down and tired. So busy at work! Can't do anything til my day off.
Parcels have come and I haven't opened them. Cards too. At some point I need to write and send cards and gifts in the post. I may be too late. Just doing my best, really.

sweetcakes 💐💐
I just want it done and dusted now. It all starts too early now, the advertising, music, etc.

Oreo

nanna8

Oh Dickens do not be sad. I find more and more I don’t want to listen to the news with the doom and gloom so I live my life with family and friends and give love and hope to them. I withdraw into my little sphere like a snail going into its shell because I realise nothing I can do or say will change the overall picture. As many say, we are living in end times and all this selfishness and poor government was predicted long ago and so it is proving to be the case.

Good comment apart from the we are living in end times bit.
Over dramatic!
I also live for family and friends and do what bit of good I can in a local way.I stopped stressing about the world ages ago.

... "end times" mean different things to different people.

To me, it means that the era of 'plenty', in terms of state provision, quality of public services, relatively cheap food - it's variety - and social cohesion... is over. And more. But I don't want to be tedious.

There's no 'drama' - it's happening slowly and we're acclimatising, accepting.

Well, some aren't, and good for them!

nanna8

Oh Dickens do not be sad. I find more and more I don’t want to listen to the news with the doom and gloom so I live my life with family and friends and give love and hope to them. I withdraw into my little sphere like a snail going into its shell because I realise nothing I can do or say will change the overall picture. As many say, we are living in end times and all this selfishness and poor government was predicted long ago and so it is proving to be the case.

Good comment apart from the we are living in end times bit.
Over dramatic!
I also live for family and friends and do what bit of good I can in a local way.I stopped stressing about the world ages ago.

nanna8 and Dorsetcupcake61

Thank you for your responses.

Yes, I am sad, but it's more than that. I despair that we are now a very individualistic and very divided society. And compassionless.

I am also fearful for the future. Under this current government (as opposed to any other, previous, Conservative government) I see a degradation of the everyday practice of democracy - to the point where we - or the 'system' are / is vulnerable to the emergence of an authoritarian 'populist' government. When people, the public, are stressed with an economic downturn, they are at their most receptive to the idea of a 'liberator'. And, true to form - and unsurprisingly - up pops Nigel Farage, and other Tory party defectors who want to form a new 'radical' party...

We have now alienated ourselves from our closest neighbours and are at war - at least verbally - with them. Our former 'friends' are now our enemies. I'm not debating the issue of Brexit, we just are where we are.

My fear and despondency isn't just for myself though - I have my 'escape' channels - it's the fear and despair at the prospect of where we are as a society heading. I do believe, as nanna8 says, we are living in end-times.

When you look back to the late 60s, the 70s, and even the 80s - doesn't it seem like another world? We've gone down the wrong path (or been led down it).

I fear we're at that stage - as someone once pointed out - where when you are watching a documentary about a country's slide into a dictatorship, or rogue state, you say "why didn't someone do something?" I don't think we're at that point - I believe we've passed it and it's now too late.

Gloom and doom - I would for all the world like to feel differently and I wake up every day looking for little rays of 'hope'. This morning's are dashed because my disabled partner is going into the shower and I'm petrified he might fall and have to wait 16+ hours for an ambulance. It has happened once already - back in the good old days when you only had to wait for 6 hours. He lay half in and half out of the shower with his chest resting on the rim of the shower tray, unable to move due to the pain from broken ribs. I'm petrified.

Dickens, Dorsetcupcake, nanna8 thank you for your posts, they express how I feel too.
Plus knowing others have it worse adds guilt as well.
Haven't put the tree up, yet.

Thankyou Dickens for your kind comment. Your post certainly led to a lightbulb moment for me. I think pre covid life could be very hard for many. Now there are so many onslaughts from so many different angles hope can be gradually erased, things can feel overwhelming.
As nanna8 so wisely says all we can do is focus on those closest too us and the good in life,and it is there. Dickens you do sound sad,which I can identify with. I am horrified by what often seems to be a lack of compassion in a very cruel world and feel there is little I can do outside of my immediate circle. All we can do is reduce our exposure to the news/ media which often is repetitive doom and gloom and/ or speculation. Above all be kind to yourself,we are living in unprecedented times

Oh Dickens do not be sad. I find more and more I don’t want to listen to the news with the doom and gloom so I live my life with family and friends and give love and hope to them. I withdraw into my little sphere like a snail going into its shell because I realise nothing I can do or say will change the overall picture. As many say, we are living in end times and all this selfishness and poor government was predicted long ago and so it is proving to be the case.

Dorsetcupcake61

Lovely post... especially this bit...

I have certainly come to realise that Christmas spirit is elusive. It is a sensory feast of smells,sounds,memories and tastes that evoke past times. I think at the brightest of times we are trying to recapture a time of innocence and magic.

So true.

You know, I think people can face and overcome hardship - but only if they have hope. Without hope, everything - every day, every task, becomes wearying and soul-destroying.

I have almost given up hope. I believe the hardships that many are facing (devastating for some) are, for the foreseeable future, more or less permanent. Like you, I have no faith in this government who, I believe, are focused solely on their own survival consequently I don't trust them. They recognise the crisis, but I don't think they care one iota about Mr & Mrs Average. At a time of crisis, just a few weeks back, they chose a woman as PM who - whilst people were waiting multiple hours for ambulances to take them to under-staffed hospitals (because this is not a new thing, it's been going on for months) chose to borrow £billions to give tax cuts to the rich, tax breaks which would have had to be paid for by even more cuts to public spending. They chose her, she was their preference. So what hope is there that anything will change? It won't. They do not care, and for that reason I have lost all hope and, like many I suspect, will just get up each day and put one foot in front of the other in order to survive it. Without hope.

I have presents and cards all sorted as I hate the shops in December, decorations are up, but it still doesn't feel like Christmas. I think I just long for the big family Christmas celebrations we had years ago, there's just my sister and I now and it's just like a Sunday to us. I've a load of shortbread to make and give out to friends so I'll have to give myself a shake and get on with it.

I must admit when this post was first shown I read it with a sense of relief ,I feel exactly the same. Ironically I couldn't even find the motivation to reply!
On that day my daughter had insisted on getting the tree in and partly decorated but that was as far as it went. ! For about four days I was surrounded by decorations and a lounge that was half autumn decor surrounded by Christmas stuff. I don't go OTT but like to make things cosy and each year have items with happy memories that it's a pleasure to put out. This year I just really didn't have the motivation.
There is so much truth in other posts,I think it's a combination of so many things,and of course depends on individual circumstances.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
I think there ismuch to be said for the impact of a pandemic. It does seem strange that after covid restrictions there are many who don't relish the thought of large gatherings,or even any gatherings at all! For a couple of decades pre covid I always had a Xmas get together with friends to exchange presents. I have intended to do it but haven't. In fact we do occasionally meet up in small groups and are next Saturday but the larger parties,not happened.
For several years I have enjoyed making the majority of my gifts. Some times it's harder work than just buying a gift set but I enjoy it. I have made some this year but not to extent intended.
I must admitvi often look back to when my parents were alive and Christmas was a massive undertaking,but done with love. I also had young childeren and was a single parent. Over recent years I've scratched my head and wondered how I had the energy to do it all. I must admit I put it down to hitting 60 last year.
Then rather slowly the answer dawned on me. Since January 2021 I have gone from working 2.5 days a week to 5. This should be blindingly obvious but it took a while to grapple with. Yes,I may be doing less in terms of organising Christmas for parents etc etc but I'm still giving myself goals of home made gifts and festive foods to make but only have 2 days to do this in rather than previous 4.5! I'm fortunate in that 4/ 5 days WFH now so less commute etc but it's taken until this week to realise that it's not just being older I physically have less time,silly I know.
So,I have lowered my expectations of myself. The world won't end if I don't make my own sausage rolls! ( even though they are nicer).
Of course there are other influences. The world we are living is at best an uncertain place,war,strikes,inflation,interest rates,fuel,potential power cuts, the genuinely concerning crisis of NHS and social care.All of us have different circumstances but few of us can be totally unaffected by some element of this. I genuinely count my blessings. I own my own home outright. I may feel tired working FT but I can financially afford food,presents and to heat my house. Yes,I'm cutting back where can and only put heating on when necessary. The recent cold snap has genuinely bought home how horrendous it would be if I couldn't heat my home.
There is so much worry and concern at the moment. With major issues such as power cuts and now the emergence of strep infections in childeren and questions about the availability of antibiotics I must admit that post covid I have little faith in the government to be either efficient or honest in a crisis!
I think all of these elements contribute to a low mood,all around is gloom and relentless bad news. However positive and grateful we may try to be is it any wonder that the idea of Christmas is a bit "meh"?
I think the past few years have made many people reevaluate the season,what they do and why. I have certainly come to realise that Christmas spirit is elusive. It is a sensory feast of smells,sounds,memories and tastes that evoke past times. I think at the brightest of times we are trying to recapture a time of innocence and magic. All I can wish for those who read this is be kind to yourself and have a peaceful time however to spend the season.

I feel better reading all these posts. It’s nice to know I am not the only one with a bit of a lack of enthusiasm!

I'm in the CBA camp this year but just had my plans for scaling back scuppered by youngest GC. Every year my husband plays Father Christmas for the grandchildren and we turn an old stable in the garden into a magical grotto for them. It's a lovely event and has made lots of happy memories for them and us. This year however my 5 year GD has informed her schoolfriends that she sees the "real Santa" and has invited them to come along. My daughter asked if that would be OK and I agreed. reasoning that a couple of extra little ones wouldn't be a problem. Well, it now turns out that GD has invited quite a few more than a couple of friends and ditto her older siblings who thought it was a great idea and didn't want to be left out. My daughter has said judging by the number of messages she is getting about directions and times, she estimates about 40 little ones are likely to turn up! So now I have to brave the crowds, buy and wrap suitable small gifts for children who could be boys or girls or dare I say it, non binary, quadruple the mince pies and mulled wine for parents and try and work out some parking arrangements.
So to summarise, my scaling back on Christmas chores could be going better.

Feeling terribly bah humbug! Moved house two weeks ago - both exhausted and still sorting stuff out. Tired but happy and tbh always glad when Xmas is over, it makes me feel very melancholy and I’ve never really understood why .

PS

My mother's Christmas = do everything, refuse help, mutter under breath, resent everything and everyone, ruin atmosphere- (leaving me to hate Christmas and wonder what is the point? ) Additionally, have unrealistic expectations and get upset when disappointed that the unrealistic expectations were not met, have argument, throw pans.

Mine= allow others to help me, realize it's everyone's Christmas and that I am not a lesser person for allowing my family to help. Do things together. Enjoy the day, make the best of it. Relax. Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.

I don't like wrapping gifts. Or writing cards! I will only do the minimum.

The treat food I bought early has been eaten, so I will not buy more til nearer Christmas.

The thing is, as Mums and Grandparents and Daughters- we are people and it's our Christmas too. Some of us have hated Christmas for years, just because it's a time when we have to do everything and wait on multiple generations. I wish my Mother had not been such a martyr to the kitchen, that she refused help- and feel sorry for her that she felt she needed to be.

I think it's ingrained into us as women- and it shouldn't be. It's our Christmas too.

I was doing so well - cards written (nearly), presents bought, food organised - and then yesterday DD said she and her OH think they should be proper grown-ups now and not have a stocking this year. Feel really deflated.
Will put their sugar mice and shower gel into the local 'Christmas in a Box' extras pot tomorrow, and then work on getting a sense of perspective back!

Maybe lots of people were fed up with the mad pace of Christmas before lock down but didn't realise it. Then they enjoyed their quiet Christmas at home and now don't want to go back to all the panic.

During lock down lots of GNs said they were enjoying their quieter lives with no guilt about staying home and doing what they wanted, rather than feeling they had to run around and do what other people want. Christmas can be a bit like that for some, feeling they have to do things to make family and friends feel good. IMO if anyone wants to step back from it and just have some peace and quiet, that's what they should do without anyone accusing them of being miserable.

You could well be right Casdon as I can’t see any other reason for it.

Still, you can keep Christmas more simple but still enjoy a few things.If you can’t be bothered to dress a tree, buy a garland and put some lights on it, easier.Buy the pudding and the cake and a few ready made things.Don’t accept more invitations than you really want. See friends for coffee and a mince pie rather than prepare a meal.

Oreo

Unless there’s a good reason for feeling tired and miserable, and I know that many on here do, I wonder what’s causing all this cba stuff?
Christmas lights, a bit of sparkle, friends getting together, a few treats, what could be nicer?

I think some of it is just overload, after the pandemic Christmases, which were quiet, everything is back on full throttle this year, but we aren’t used to it any more.
I’m really looking forward to Christmas, but I went shopping this morning, and didn’t stay long enough to do everything I wanted - it was just too busy, too many people and long queues everywhere. I was glad to get back in the car for a bit of peace.

Unless there’s a good reason for feeling tired and miserable, and I know that many on here do, I wonder what’s causing all this cba stuff?
Christmas lights, a bit of sparkle, friends getting together, a few treats, what could be nicer?

I don’t hate Christmas but this year I have lost some of my enthusiasm for it. I posted my cards on Monday but, as yet, no tree or decorations are up. We keep talking about getting them down from the loft but nothing happens. Admittedly we’ve just come back from 5 weeks abroad but I just feel disinterested in Christmas this year. Shame really.

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one that feels like this. I usually do a little home baking for my 5 immediate neighbours. I am struggling to get it done this year although I have got my cards done and posted. It's the parcels for the rest of family I am struggling with at this time. Now I'm being told, because of postage problems they should be posted by Monday or Tuesday at the latest. I better get my finger out over the weekend. Best wishes to all who are struggling.

One Christmas a few years back we went on a cruise, just the two of us. It was magic cruising the South Pacific, going to parties , dancing and meeting people from different countries. I don’t think I would do it again since Covid and it is one of those things you just do once in a lifetime.