Food banks

CatsCatsCats

Ziplok

Strange the OP has never been back …

I would have been surprised if she had been back given the insults that have been flung in her direction.

Why couldn't people have enlightened the OP to how food banks work, without all the nasty comments?

The OP might have been remembering when people could and did exploit 'the system'.

Well you would have to be rather naïve to think it was an honest enquiry.

ExDancer

My grand daughter has a pony which she keeps in a DIY livery yard. It costs a fortune.
One of the other owners brought a 4/pack of baked beans into the brew-room which she'd got in her box from the food bank. Her kids were sick of beans she's said, and she wondered if she could swap them for spaghetti instead.
I agree with OP - these banks are being misused.
And before you reply asking me do I want the child's beloved pony taken away from her - well no, but most people can't afford a pony in the first place, so don't use food banks either.
Think about it.
Its stopped me putting items in the box at the supermarket exit.

You say "think about it". I don't think I can say most of what I am thinking.

But do tell me why you think it is wrong for the person to see if she could get some variety for her children. Exactly what harm is she doing? It seems the help she is getting is enabling your entitled vision of life.

Before everyone jumps down the OP's throat, they just wanted to start a conversation.
There are people who spoil it for others in every corner of society. I dislike this "Holier than thou" mentality which plagues these threads.
None of us are perfect.
Years ago there was a celebrity called Lady Isobel Barnet. An aristocratic lady who was rather amusing and witty.

I remember her on a a chat show talking about the poor and how wasteful and profligate they were. How she could feed a family on very little and indeed her sister or someone close to her did.
This was the same woman who was caught shoplifting (she was a kleptomaniac) and committed suicide because of her shame.

The horse was probably owned from the time when the family were much better off. Being rich, or poor is not necessarily a life time situation.

By the way Ex-Dancer, did you confirm that this lady was paying her own livery fees? Because, it is possible that they were being paid by someone else, probably a family member, until this lady is back on her feet again and a child need not lose a beloved horse.

When we were going through a jobless period, an aunt offered to pay the children's school fees, until we were on our feet again. Fortunately DH was soon back in work, so it wasn't necessary, but we in our turn have offered to pay for all DGC's extra-curricular activities if DS and family have any problems.

You should never leap to judgements until you have carefully checked all the facts.

ExDancer

My grand daughter has a pony which she keeps in a DIY livery yard. It costs a fortune.
One of the other owners brought a 4/pack of baked beans into the brew-room which she'd got in her box from the food bank. Her kids were sick of beans she's said, and she wondered if she could swap them for spaghetti instead.
I agree with OP - these banks are being misused.
And before you reply asking me do I want the child's beloved pony taken away from her - well no, but most people can't afford a pony in the first place, so don't use food banks either.
Think about it.
Its stopped me putting items in the box at the supermarket exit.

It is exactly this situation that makes me wonder if some peoples need is as great as they make it out to be.
Sadly foodbanks are a very necessary help for some people but their pride won't allow them to let their families go hungry.
But sadly life does have the people who will always take what they can get without actually considering the need to forgo something else first such as Nails, Going to the pub, takeaways etc.
I used to drop the odd quid in a beggars hat until I realised he was taking turns with others!! I was being made a mug of - so soon stopped that!!
I used to work in a Bursaries office where applications had to provide evidence and some of the bank accounts had £1000's more than I could ever hope to even earn - so I'm with OP and ExDancer - I need to be convinced if I'm to be parted from what used to be my hard earned wages/now pension!!

swampy1961 But surely you should also be convinced that the situation is as presented.

As I posted in my last post (just above yours) all we know is that someone with a horse at a stable was receiving food from a Food bank. We do not know who was paying their livery bills. it probably wasn't them. Someone else may have been doing it until the family got on their feet again.

JaneJudge

You can contribute pet food to the food bank too. I don't want to deprive poor people of pets. There is loads of evidence to suggest how having pets has a positive impact on people's mental health and well being.

I give cat food to ours. It's the el cheapo stuff (which is what my moggies get). But yes, people have pets before they fall on hard times.

M0nica

swampy1961 But surely you should also be convinced that the situation is as presented.

As I posted in my last post (just above yours) all we know is that someone with a horse at a stable was receiving food from a Food bank. We do not know who was paying their livery bills. it probably wasn't them. Someone else may have been doing it until the family got on their feet again.

This is what I was trying to get at. Thanks M0nica
This is why in our town we try not to distinguish between people's needs and hopefully are not judgemental.
The food bank has a community fridge where anyone can help themselves to up to 5 items daily. It's to save this food from ending up in land fill. I often check it out

M0nica

swampy1961 But surely you should also be convinced that the situation is as presented.

As I posted in my last post (just above yours) all we know is that someone with a horse at a stable was receiving food from a Food bank. We do not know who was paying their livery bills. it probably wasn't them. Someone else may have been doing it until the family got on their feet again.

Fair comment - but I certainly wouldn't be ungrateful enough to complain about Baked Beans again!! That to me smacks of ungratefulness and rudeness!!

I donate to our local food bank every week, where I know that all of the shoppers are carefully vetted regularly to ensure they are entitled. I’m sure many of them would love to have the latest phones, meals out etc. but that’s not how it works. Ps. It’s the season of goodwill to all men!

ExDancer

My grand daughter has a pony which she keeps in a DIY livery yard. It costs a fortune.
One of the other owners brought a 4/pack of baked beans into the brew-room which she'd got in her box from the food bank. Her kids were sick of beans she's said, and she wondered if she could swap them for spaghetti instead.
I agree with OP - these banks are being misused.
And before you reply asking me do I want the child's beloved pony taken away from her - well no, but most people can't afford a pony in the first place, so don't use food banks either.
Think about it.
Its stopped me putting items in the box at the supermarket exit.

Frankly, I don't believe this story. Shame on you for passing it on

JaneJudge

You can contribute pet food to the food bank too. I don't want to deprive poor people of pets. There is loads of evidence to suggest how having pets has a positive impact on people's mental health and well being.

Our FB has a big box of various pet foods for people to take if they need it. I can think of nothing worse than having to hand over a pet to a rescue because I couldn't afford to feed it

We support a local food bank, it does not work on a referral basis.
I’m sure there are people that abuse it but if our contribution means that just one child goes to bed with a full tummy then I don’t care.

Sago

We support a local food bank, it does not work on a referral basis.
I’m sure there are people that abuse it but if our contribution means that just one child goes to bed with a full tummy then I don’t care.

Well said - at the end of the day, no child should be going hungry. No matter the causes, who is to blame etc, it's never the fault of the child.

Giving pet food to the food bank is really good, but may I also suggest that if you can afford it a small selection box for children is really appreciated at this time of year. The look on a mother's face when you hand over the bags and she sees a box for each of her children is priceless. Those children are suffering enough, just a small gesture like that can really lift them. (we do Easter eggs too)

CatsCatsCats

Ziplok

Strange the OP has never been back …

I would have been surprised if she had been back given the insults that have been flung in her direction.

Why couldn't people have enlightened the OP to how food banks work, without all the nasty comments?

The OP might have been remembering when people could and did exploit 'the system'.

I agree with you Cats cats cats,the OP asked a question and got a load of insults and name-calling. You all followed each other.
She is allowed her own thoughts and asked if anyone agreed she did not ask for the abuse she got.
If we all think really hard wasn't there a time until we found out differently we wondered why people with tattoos, hair extensions, and homes that look like something out of Homes and gardens needed help? When TV crews visited to interview answered the door in shorts and t-shirts and then confessed to having to use food banks. Maybe a manicure makes you feel better, though how many of us have them on a regular basis?'
She didn't ask for a barrage of abuse, too much of which is happening on this forum, just your facts of actual circumstances that might have informed her to change her mind would have been enough.

Old African proverb. As the waterhole gets smaller the animals get meaner. Scapegoating the poor is the same as scapegoating any other group. You would think we have travelled past the stage of being animals at the waterhole.

Our country set up an insurance system. Would the OP criticise those who used properly claimed private insurance to do something to upgrade Jwhat they had before? Actually, she probably would. Judgemental people don't care who they attack or whether what they say is substantiated.

Those who accept others' help or claim on their National Insurance are doing nothing wrong. Those who don't have to do this seem to want to punish those currently in difficult circumstances, making their lives as bad as possible. The help is there for us all, should we ever need it. Of course, the well of National Insurance has been/is being run dry. Not because there isn't enough money, but because the government, and some on here, believe they will always be entitled to more than others.

It's maladministration that has caused the problems, not the poor. There is plenty to go around. But just as the German government could not own its economic problems in the 1930s, it appears those in power currently and those that support their scapegoating have learned nothing from those desperate times.

The OP was not wanting a conversation. She wanted others to join her in her scapegoating.

I wonder if anyone thinks we should close down food banks then because a minority of people may abuse them?

Personally I think the acceptance of food banks is a disgraceful indictment of a relatively well off country such as ours, and helps us to salve our collective consciousness about the terrible inequality in society without actively trying to change anything.

M0nica

The horse was probably owned from the time when the family were much better off. Being rich, or poor is not necessarily a life time situation.

By the way Ex-Dancer, did you confirm that this lady was paying her own livery fees? Because, it is possible that they were being paid by someone else, probably a family member, until this lady is back on her feet again and a child need not lose a beloved horse.

When we were going through a jobless period, an aunt offered to pay the children's school fees, until we were on our feet again. Fortunately DH was soon back in work, so it wasn't necessary, but we in our turn have offered to pay for all DGC's extra-curricular activities if DS and family have any problems.

You should never leap to judgements until you have carefully checked all the facts.

Well said MOnica.

At the moment people who use food banks are not asked to sell off all their worldly goods, prior to using them. Though some do sell various items to make ends meet.

It's not impossible that the horse the child owns is owned on a shared basis - a friend of mine has that arrangement, thus a shared cost.

Also, selling a horse is not a five-minute job if you need something to eat. Who knows, maybe the family intend to sell it...

We know that 'welfare' is abused by some, it's not a new thing. But to make judgements about people using food banks - to suggest that because you have anecdotal evidence of 'someone you know' who might be doing so - that it is rife among the users just adds to the stigmatisation that poorer people already face.

You do not need to be homeless, jobless or destitute to use a food bank. Some families tick by OK and manage... until an unplanned-for bill arrives, on which they spend the money ear-marked for that week's / month's food shop. They are then eligible - but for them, it might only be a one-off.

I thought the original post was provocative. The usual stereotyping of people because they ate fast food, had nail and hair extensions and the latest iPhone - how many times has this been said? And how on earth does the poster even know that these families with young children in McDonalds are using food banks? You'd have to follow them around to find out, as you would also if they had Deliveroo.

Having been poor and my parents never had the opportunity of using a food bank, I have every sympathy for those who desperately need that lifeline. I know what it’s like to go hungry as a child, have free school dinners, the works. So I don’t stigmatise those who use them. I think the OP might have expressed her concerns better. I myself wonder when I see segments on TV with women with tattoos, fake nails, the eyebrows, fake eyelashes etc saying they can’t afford to eat, heat their house, feed their kids etc. if that makes me an evil bad person then so be it. I’ve been there, I’ve been hungry, been poor but my mum and dad didn’t have money to waste on unnecessary items. Just my opinion,

Re the pony at the livery stable - it is possible that the stable is using the pony themselves to offset the livery fees. It's what always used to happen if you couldn't afford the full livery fees. As far as swapping the beans is concerned; surely it is better to swap something a child doesn't like instead of wasting it.

At Harvest Festival my mother used to be given a basket of groceries by local school children. Anything she didn't like she passed on to me. She wasn't being ungrateful, she just wasn't wasting things she didn't like.

I am sorry, I can see no reason why we should be kind to people like the OP who posted what I consider to have been a deliberately provocative piece.

Yes, there are a few people who are as ignorant as she professes to be about those using Food Banks., but she writes too well and too fluently to think that a post like hers based on supposition and fantasy would get other than the dusty put downs she has received.

While I oppose all personal abuse, I do think that if someone publishes views like hers, based entirely on suppositions with no evidence to support them, then we are entitled to criticise her post from response 1

Rosie51 our local food bank helpfully posts a list of what they need most each week on Facebook. For a couple of weeks they have been asking for Christmas treats and things suitable to go into stockings (as well as other more ordinary food). The response has been huge, they have enough to give several items to each family.

That's so good to know HettyBetty I love it when people start donating more luxury items, even though the basics are still needed. Christmas can be tough on kids whose families need the help of the food bank, I love the idea of giving 'stocking' items. I will suggest we put out similar appeals next year.

A stupid post. Go back to school.