What do you say to people without offspring who are pessimistic?

Ilovecheese

I feel that life is such a gift that we should just take a chance and grab it with both hands.

That’s a wonderful attitude 🥰

My husband died aged 47 in 2004 from cancer. I was 45 and he made me promise to live the best life I can and I do it's not easy without him but that promise and the others ones I made him mean I can get through each day on my own . He was my other half of myself and haven't been whole since he took his final breath.

There are only two certainties in life we are born and we die. The rest is up to us. To many people die young . And we must live our lives to the full as we only have one life yes it's full of obstacles along the way but I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So I say to you all live the best life you can. Merry Christmas to you all and get through today the best way you can not matter your circumstances it's only one day. The chocolate box view of Christmas day is a myth. So just do what feels right for you . ❤️🌲🎁🥂🥂🎅

I think each to his/her/their own. Personally my life is richer, more fulfilled and sometimes exciting having children. My husband and I each had a child before meeting and now share three others, so have five between us, youngest is 20, oldest is 38, and we have one grandchild, we wouldn’t swap any of them and I’m fine with others choosing not to have children and emphasise with those who desperately wanted children. I do have “friends” who make negative comments about our large family, I ignore them and count my blessing

I was the child of a hasty marriage (back in the 1930s if a woman fell pregnant her boyfriend had little choice but to marry her if they were both single) as I suffered for it. I dont think my father was ready for the responsibility of parenthood and it showed in the way I was treated.

I made an assertive choice not to have children and have never regretted it. I never wanted another human clinging onto me for years and years. I was also unselfish enough to realise that I would be a harsh parent who brought up my children "hard".

I strongly disagree with todays soft and helecopter parenting. I wonder how todays kids will have the backbone and resilliance to cope with whats to come. However I will not be here to mollycoddle them.

What I say to anyone who is pessimistic about humanity: check out positive news at places like ourworldindata.org and humanprogress.org

Daisymae, I'd share their pessimism, to be frank - even as a mother, grandmother etc. they make a valid point.

Where's the evidence for your (hopelessly optimistic) statement:

'every generation has its challenges and they will find ways through' ??

You seem to assume that we all agree with you.

The world was in a far worse place in 1939! There's a very good interview with Ian Hislop broadcast on Xmas Eve where he puts things into perspective. Worth a watch if you have iPlayer.

I would say to these pessimists that when my parents married in 1947 quite a lot of their contempories felt that this world was not a place for children and abstained from having any.

Everyone has the right to make that choice, or to choose to have children. I have always been glad that my parents brought me into this world, and it was no voluntary choice on my behalf that led to adopting a child, rather than giving birth myself.

Every generation faces challenges, difficulties and hardship - this is part of the human condition. Today we know more about the global threats due to the constant world-wide media.

But do you honestly think the generations who brought children up in a world where there was no penicillan, few vaccines etc. were less concerned than we are?

Our grandchildren and great-grandchildren's generations might just be the ones to rid the world of famine and war, after all.

Please try to be just a little optimistic!

Every generation has its own set of problems, my parents and their parents went through wars which impacted greatly on their lives.

We live in a badly broken world with many problems and I would hate to be young now.

I was a foster mother for a while and had 4 children of my own. To be brutally honest I never even thought about not having children because of the nuclear threat as it was then. The gift of life is wonderful even if it is short. Young children are just so full of the joy of life and even if something awful happens they will still leave their mark in the world. Several of my children and grandchildren work in helping professions ( doctor,nurse, social worker) so I feel they are giving back as well as taking what life offers.

I have no time for these doomsday worriers. The fact that they don't have children doesn't mean the world won't go on. Thank goodness for past and future generations of chemists and scientists. The world always has done and always will need further generations. As am old Glasgow radio programme used to say " we never died a winter yet".

I don't agree with the assumption that those without children are more pessimistic. Why? A lot of children aren't planned, after all - and many couples can't have them.

I'm also amazed by all the references to the past. You can't look ahead when looking backwards. What happened in the past is irrelevant to the threat of global destruction, except, perhaps, to indicate that not enough will be done to slow it.

You could reverse the question OP and ask “what do you say to people with offspring who are so optimistic”.
However, the world has many more people who have children. The majority of them feel it’s their right to make all kinds of comments and judgments as well as offer un-requested advice about those who are childless throughout their lives.
It’s probably more sensitive and positive to smile and nod, rather than offer yet more in welcome comment.

However I will not be here to mollycoddle them.
A bit harsh there biglouis as these kids might be the future nurses or delivery drivers who serve your needs!

I'd tell them that they are probably right, and I worry for my DCs and my DGCs, not just because of global warming but because many of the solutions we once thought we had to society's problems have proved to be no such thing. And I worry for my family and the future, but that said I wouldn't change them for anything and certainly don't regard having them as a mistake.
If it was someone I really didn't particularly like I might follow up with "Do you regret not having children?"

I used to hate the thought that any of my DDs might emigrate. Now I feel differently about my DGC, and I attribute this more to my pessimism about the future for the young in this country than to my greater remove from them.

If the doom-saying attitude had been prevalent during WW2 many of us would not be here at all. And a great difference between then and now is that during WW2 there were leaders advocating hope. Where are they now?

In today's world I would not have children. The mess we have created will not be resolved for a few generations, if ever.

👍 🙏

I'm glad that I've had children and happy that most of my children have had children, and the one that hasn't it was that couple's conscious choice. I'd just want every child to be a wanted, cherished child and that includes unplanned ones as well as those planned. From experience my one semi-unplanned has been nothing but a joyful experience.
I think my response would be that I'm basically an optimist, and have faith in the ingenuity of humankind to find solutions eventually. Life has never been certain for any of our ancestors, I doubt we'll ever get to a point where life is absolutely certain.

DaisyAlice I love your mother's attitude.

4allweknow, no regrets - but I now believe that we were selfish and incredibly ignorant when we had them - so I do admire those who choose not to.

My mother once said to me that given her time again she would not have had children. I was terribly hurt at the time, and reminded her of this when she was older and needed care. She said "I've changed my mind now"! I have three, and two grandchildren, and would not change them for the world. Two of my children don't have children through no fault of their own, so I feel we can't be too harsh in our judgements.

Dizzyribs

You could reverse the question OP and ask “what do you say to people with offspring who are so optimistic”.
However, the world has many more people who have children. The majority of them feel it’s their right to make all kinds of comments and judgments as well as offer un-requested advice about those who are childless throughout their lives.
It’s probably more sensitive and positive to smile and nod, rather than offer yet more in welcome comment.

As someone who has had a child - I'd never question anyone who decided not to have children, and think it quite rude and intrusive to do so. Childfree people do not have to justify their decision.

Neither do I have to justify my decision to have a child. And I do get annoyed with those who tell me that it was selfish on my part to bring new life onto this doomed planet. Either directly, or by implication.

A world where people and nature survive and thrive is entirely possible, though I recognise a sustainable future will be hard work.

My son is at this very moment working with NGOs in Cape Town, SA, in the townships, helping people to create and maintain economically viable small businesses via sustainable sources and, at the same time, giving them opportunities for their creativity in the Arts. He helps to raise funds so that they can showcase their talent, (and there's a lot of it) to a wider audience.

I wish those who are critical would direct their ire towards the world leaders, politicians and other high-profile 'influencers' who oppose the efforts to create a sustainable future, those who deny climate change, etc, because of their own vested interests. It is they who will doom the planet, not the current offspring (nor future generations) who are, generally, far more environmentally aware and grasp the geo-politics involved.

Can’t stand miserable whingers re bringing children into the world.
“Go forth and multiply!” I cry (If you can afford to). I come from large families and have two myself, but now wish I had ten.
No doom mongers would ever put me off the miracle of new life coming into this imperfect world.

Whiff

My husband died aged 47 in 2004 from cancer. I was 45 and he made me promise to live the best life I can and I do it's not easy without him but that promise and the others ones I made him mean I can get through each day on my own . He was my other half of myself and haven't been whole since he took his final breath.

There are only two certainties in life we are born and we die. The rest is up to us. To many people die young . And we must live our lives to the full as we only have one life yes it's full of obstacles along the way but I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So I say to you all live the best life you can. Merry Christmas to you all and get through today the best way you can not matter your circumstances it's only one day. The chocolate box view of Christmas day is a myth. So just do what feels right for you . ❤️🌲🎁🥂🥂🎅

What a lovely, inspiring post. It made me cry, and I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. But thank you for sharing

I did think twice about having children in the 1990s. However, I as a Christian I believe this life is not all there is. I hoped they would become Christians too and went ahead. One has, the other I am hoping and praying will. I don’t think it was the wrong decision although the world seems worse since then (global warming not dealt with and getting worse, Islamist terrorism, war in Europe, Chinese expansionism).